Have you ever regretted saying to your ex?
Here’s a recent email I got from Amy:
Hi Ashley, I don’t know if you got my last email but Ive told my ex I’m moving on (when I’m not) to try and make him want me back and so far it’s been 6 days and he hasn’t contacted me. I’m waiting until the 29th march then I’ll send him the letter which your websites have helped to to prepare.
I don’t know how to get him to want me back because he’s acting like he doesn’t care anymore, please help me x
It’s almost never a good idea to tell your ex one thing, when you really want the complete opposite to happen. You will almost always come out LOSING something.
Here’s a typical scenario:
Jane is upset with John because he has been pulling love away from her. So she gets angry and let a few “threatening” words leek out like:
- We should just break up.
- I don’t want to be with you.
- I’d be happier without you.
- Maybe you should find someone else.
When REALLY what she wants is for him to love her and no one else. Does this sound familiar?
Women, do NOT do this!
This will not have the desired effect you’re after.
Actually what John will be thinking is:
- She doesn’t love me because she wants to end it right here.
- She doesn’t care or else she wouldn’t be saying these things.
- She is unhappy, therefore I’ve failed as a man.
And instead of wanting to try harder, he will instead withdraw more because he feels she doesn’t care about him.
So Amy, if you want your man back, first of all, make sure what you say, do and want are congruent!
Nothing is more frustrating than someone whose actions don’t line up with their words!
This isn’t about being desperate, needy and begging your ex back, it’s about being true to your real feelings and wants, and just delivering those messages in a mature and calm manner.
If you love him, tell him you love him and you want things to be worked out between the two of you. But of course, he will ALSO need to do some work too! You can’t love enough for the both of you.
I would send an apology letter to tell your true feelings. And then don’t expect a response back. He needs time to sort things out on his own.
Men need to go “hide” and recoup when their ego and self-esteem is low. Give him the space to be more confident and strong again and when HE is ready, he will make contact.
Do you know the cause of your break up?
I asked this question on Facebook, if you have a spare few minutes, let me know what you think caused your break up?