In February/March of 2011, I came out of my depression and realized I still loved her. In April we started talking again, and we went on a vacation in June which went wonderfully. All signs pointed to us getting back together again, although she said she wasn’t going to make any committments and needed time to think about things. She was sure, though, that things would turn out okay.

In August 2011, she started dating someone else, who was “just sex”. I was semi-okay with this, but we did fight about it. I warned her it wouldn’t stay “just sex” but she was sure she could handle it. She couldn’t. They’re involved now, but she was constantly torn between this other person and me, having feelings for us both. She came back to see me again (we live far apart, while she and the other person live much closer) in December, and just left last week. When she left, she cried for hours, calling me from the airport, saying that she still loved me and we were meant to be together, and why was it so hard for her to admit it and just move to be with me?

She’s been firm, though, that now is not the right time for us. She’s made plans to go to a psychologist and get help, because she feels miserable about herself and certain portions of her life. She says she loves me and knows that we would have an excellent life together, but she can’t “handle” a relationship right now — not with me, at least. The emotions are too strong, and she loves me too much to put me through her indecision and instability while she goes to the psychologist and tries to get things sorted out. She’s still seeing (for now, at least) the other person, although she’s not sure if she’ll continue and that also seems to be a wavering area of indecisiveness. The last I heard is that she wants to explore this other opportunity because she wants to see if I truly am her “one and only”, and if she can be happy without me. The way she talks, she doesn’t think she can be. She still constantly references “us” (me and her), still admits she loves me, just that she can’t handle things right now.

It kills me, it really does. I suspect that she, like me a year or two ago, has developed depression. The symptoms (insomnia, lack of energy, lack of pleasure in life, feelings of ‘I haven’t accomplished/can’t accomplish anything’, memory problems, indecisiveness) are all very similar to what I had. And I, too, broke off the relationship to handle my depression, because I simply couldn’t be an “us”. The difference is that when I left, I didn’t see anyone else, because I knew I simply wasn’t in state for any relationship.

So yeah… I’ve gone Low Contact. I wrote her a long email telling her my emotions and thoughts, and telling her I was blocking her on Gmail Chat (our normal way of communicating). I haven’t blocked her emails, and I haven’t blocked phonecalls. She has begged me to let her go and not wait for her, because (she says) she loves and respects me too much to make me wait when she doesn’t know how long it will take to sort things out in her head. I responded that I didn’t want to — I wanted to fight for us, for her — but if that was her wish, I’d try to respect it. So I won’t contact her, but I won’t stop her from contacting me.

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stick to “Low/No Contact”… so far it’s been incredibly hard (and I’m only on day #2). And I don’t want to get over her, quite honestly, because I know without a doubt that she still loves me, and I still love her. Whether she will, still, in a year or however long it takes to deal with her issues, that’s another story.

But pretty much, I’m hoping that when I back off, she’ll realize what she’s missing in her life. Bad of me, perhaps. But maybe it will also help me move on, in case she simply doesn’t come back.

I dont know where to start, I had one sore relationship in my life …..but i really thought that guy was not worth it and i moved on. this happend about 2 years back. I recently met a guy on the 17th Dec 2011 who was introduced by my collegue at office, The day i was suppose to meet him my car tyre bursted on the motorway. I saw this guy for the first time on the motorway…..He looked like a nice guy. Then we went and had lunch and spent the whole day with each other. He made me laugh like anything on the day one. A day later he sent me some flowers at office ..i was really blushing and i thought i really liked him at that stage….but i was always scared that he might get close and hurt me again in life. We then started going out every evening since 17th Dec 2011. I had a office party on thursday night thats was on 22nd Dec 2011 I requested this guy to drop me home bcoz i didnt wanted to drink and drive. I was a bit drunk but he was being nice to me and he dropped me home and we had a bit of a chat on that nite. but i think i baehaved bit stupid aswell…..as i was drunk. Next day we caught up and went to movies together and that nite he shared about his past life and he said he was in relationship with a girl for 5 years but she had an affair with a 40 year old man ..he got to know that so he dumped her for that reason. I told him about my past life too i said i loved someone who pretended to be single but he was married. but it lasted only for a year. On saturday 24/12/2011 – we caught at my collegues place for xmas ev party…he told me and his parents will be there. I met his parents and his mom even invited me to for xmas lunch…i was sober till his mom left and then i had couple of glasses of wine and i started talking in a high tone with his father ..nothing bad but i just said i wanted to the voice of animals and people shud treat all the soul alike etc etc. This guy convinced me and he dropped me home the next day morning. so i really didnt bother going to his place for lunch the next day. he didn’t call me eiether….i felt about talking ruce to his father so i wanted appologise. I sent heaps of txt msgs to this guy and requested him to convice his parents about us. on the 26th Dec 2011, I got a call from This guy and he said he managed to talk to his parents about me and he wanted me to go his place and meet his parents. I did go his place and applologised to his father. we then had dinner together and i came back home. On tuesday that was on the 27th Dec 2011. We started chatting on skype ….i have no clue why i kept on telling him that he is not passionate and etc etc….we dint have a fight but we were not very happy about the whole chatting stuff…..he then ended the conversation at nite and he didnt wanted to talk to that nite….i thought he might gtet better in the morning so i left him alone. Next day morning he didnt txt me so i called him on his cell phone and he told me me that he wants to break up. he didn’t give me any reason i tried to convince him over the phone but nothing worked. I then did the same mistake like every one i pleeded him and i said sorry for nothing …i tried to exdplain to him that this is just teething issues, i even went to his place to see him ..but he didnt bother to come out he sent his brother to asked me to leave him alone. I tried calling him million times since then no response waht so ever. I read about NO CONTACT RULE SOMEWHERE so i have started implementing it since last friday 6/01/2012, Seriously the whole relationship lasted only for a 10 days….but i just forget him ….i really really really love him. I know i have made few mistakes and i dint show my good qualities to him at all. Even thought its been only 10 days i feel that he is my Mr perfect. I really love him to bits and i want him back. All i want is a chance to talk to him once face to face. but unfortunately he is not picking my calls nor responding to my txt mesags. Please someone tell me what i shud do. This is killing I have already started smoking like mad ……which i never did before. PLEASE PEOPLE TELL ME HOW DO MAKE HIM TALK TO ME ONCE. JUST ONCE.

Almost exactly a year ago today is when I met her. At the time she was one of the instructors in this 7-week training course I was taking. My interest were almost immediate – she, being the older woman, and the ‘teacher’ instantly filled two of my secret fantasies. Of course she was sexy, fun and outgoing to boot. Anyways, fast-forward to the final weeks of the course…She gathered up the courage and called me …came to my hotel room and the fun began. At first we both agreed that this was a no strings attached relationship (even though after date 3 she told me she loved me lol) but after a few days we both new this was anything but a ‘no strings’ thing. Days turn into months and next thing you know almost a year has gone by and weve been in bliss most of that time. Admittingly, it was not your typical type of relationship– she lives 4 1/2 hours drive from me, she is 6 years older than me, she has two children whom Ive never met in our 11 months together (she says she doesnt want to introduce anyone new until she knows for sure he’s the one) and in her defense, I never showed her any desire to make that next step and meet the family. I was definitily the one in charge of the relationship ( the one who cares the least is the one in charge…or so they say) It was because of this lack of committment that she always sensed hesitation in me – which is what drove her away from me- and so finally, she breaks up with me.

Then I find out that she has a new man in her life. Someone who, because of his job can only be with her 14 days and than away 14days. Someone who right off the bat wanted to meet the kids and be part of their lives (something I now realize was huge to her), she likes his take charge alpha male personality, and he has a lot more in common with her than I ever did. I found out that she has already met his family and parents. They spent new years together followed by a 4 day vacation at Niagara Falls with the kids, hes been staying her place since (its his 14 days off).

Here’s the thing:
before his 14days started with her I paid her a visit. I just called her and said we need to see each other one last time, and that a great relationship like ours deserved a proper ending face to face. I told her it was my closure. Really, i was just desperate, i was too afraid of losing her companionship, her love and attention and the intimacy and i said i wouldn’t take no for an anser. So after a 5 hour drive im with her again. Almost immediately we fall back into our old routine. Cuddling, flirting and genuinely enjoying each others company. I stay for the next 3 nights and im in bliss. Over this time she tells me she trully trully loves me, Im a great catch and a great person, shes hinting at introducing me to the kids etc… She even told me that shes terrified. When I ask why, she says, Im afraid im making the biggest mistake of my life (leaving me). Over the next few days we chat like normal and (her honest character) she decides to tell mr.new about whats happening and how she still has feeling for me and that she’s confused. He threatens to end their relationship and ‘poof’ thats all it took. She broke up with me almost immediately and has kept limited contact with me since ,although she wants us to be “good friends” (he’s staying with her for the next few days and contacting me while hes there is probably a foolish thing for her) but the days not getting her text or hearing her voice is just killing me. I keep thinking about “what are they doing right now” and “she hasn’t called so this means she’s already moved on and is over me.”

……I still love her, Im secretly pining for her and I daydream of the day were back to gether. He leaves for work again in about a week or so. My question is this… what should I do? Is there even a chance we could get back together? will NC work here or will it push her closer to him? Should I just let go and let them be happy? ….Im so confused. Im doing the best I can dealing with the break up and losing her but it gets really hard some times.

Any advise would be appreciated. Sorry its a little long-winded.