If your ex has finally succumbed and gave you the go ahead to getting back together, before you get too excited, let’s have a look at the Get Back Together Checklist – a list of things that should be ironed out or at least in the process of being ironed out if you wish to sustain this relationship long-term into the future.
Past issue have been resolved. Admittedly this might be hard for most people to answer. How do you define ‘resolved’? This depends on your unique situation but as long as you and your ex are willing to resolve these issues together, place a tick next to this one.
You learned a lesson. Break ups don’t just happen out of nowhere and for no good reason. If you’re struggling to figure out this one, perhaps you haven’t looked deep enough yet. On the other hand maybe you have learnt several lessons. Jot them down.
Future looks bright and promising. When you look to the future of your relationship, does it differ from your past? I hope so. Understand that you and your partner will change and your relationship will change. Does that scare you?
You can live without them. One of the biggest lessons that you should have learned from the break up is that you don’t ‘need’ your partner in your life. You can enjoy life just as much without them in it. Of course that doesn’t mean you should or you have to, just that you know you’ll be fine if a break up was to happen again.
Your life goals and core beliefs are aligned. Your goals doesn’t need to match, in fact it’s good to have differing goals in life, but what IS important is that you compliment one another and your core beliefs also go together well. Remember you will be with this person for a long time (if all goes well) make sure you get off on a good start.
Willing to compromise. Understand that things won’t always go the way you want and sometimes you will have to sacrifice a thing or two for the sake of the relationship. Be prepared to give and take a little.
You’re confident your ex is coming back because he/she loves you for you. Clearly I wouldn’t want you to go back into an abusive or unhealthy relationship. This means, your ex should have respect for you and are willing to put effort into this relationship as much as you will.
You love your ex for them, not for who you want them to be. On the flip side to the last point, you also have to accept your ex for who they are. Don’t try to change them because there’s a part of them you’re not happy with. It’s best to focus your energy on elements you CAN change, such as yourself.
Willing to put the past behind you. Remember don’t live and dwell on the past. Each new day with your partner is another day of fun, love and compassion. I hate holding grudges as it’s just stupid to hold onto something that has already happened. There’s nothing you can do about it, but there IS something you can do about the present.
Continue the relationship with you… give regular love and attention to yourself first. Just because you’re with someone romantically doesn’t mean you should stop the relationship you’ve developed with yourself. You should always continue to improve and better yourself or you might find an unhappiness brewing just underneath the surface waiting to explode in the future. Take care of your needs too.
How did you go? 10/10? As long as you keep these in mind, you shouldn’t have too many problems with your relationship, and even if things do fall apart, you’ll know why and why to let it go this time. Remember if you’re centred and confident with having no one but yourself to fall back on, you will do well no matter what life throws at you.
9/10 break ups STAY that way, can your relationship survive?
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