20 November 2009 ~ 139 Comments

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back – Sneaky Signs Your Ex Still Cares

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Are you convinced that it’s too late to get your ex back?

I know how it feels, when all evidence points to the sign that they are just OVER you, you just feel like giving up.

Giving up is necessary sometimes, and I certainly don’t want you to keep chasing after someone who really IS over you.

There are some rare situations though where an ex will ACT as if they’re over you BUT they still DO things that makes you wonder

“Why does he still do this if he doesn’t care anymore?”

or

“Why is she still calling me for no reason at all?”

You know that feeling? When your ex’s actions don’t quite seem to make sense!?

There is more going on than you may think and it may even SHOCK you when you find out the truth.

Here I explain exactly what are the SIGNS to watch out for when an ex is still not over you, still CARES and may even WANT YOU BACK.

If you’re not recognizing any of these signs, don’t worry, it could be anything from being TOO soon after the break up OR your ex is busy with other things!

Yes, people do have lives and some people just have a better way of keeping themselves busy.

Can You Get Your Ex Back? Click Here to Find Out!

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139 Responses to “Signs Your Ex Wants You Back – Sneaky Signs Your Ex Still Cares”

  1. Vila 24 March 2010 at 8:14 pm Permalink

    i got my ex to start seeing me again, but he said he’s not ready for a relationship. He said he is super physically attracted to me, that he likes me very much, he likes helping me with things and talking and doing things with me, but that he doesn’t want to have to call me and do the things I deserve every day and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He hasn’t fallen in love but he also hasn’t pursued anyone else, and isn’t looking for anyone else. What do I do???? I still love him very much and he seems like he loves me.

    • Geoff 27 March 2011 at 1:34 am Permalink

      I’m a guy and i can tell you one thing – if he feels all of these things then he DEFINITELY loves you, except maybe he just hasn’t realised it.

      I just went through an intense break up after a year and a half (i initiated it) and felt all these things that you say about your partner, but still didn’t believe i loved her anymore, despite feeling that way.

      The point that i realised i still loved her, more than anyone or anything, was when i thought i lost her. I use to have movie nights and stuff like that all the time when we broke up, we had heaps of fun and were laughing the whole time and knew we weren’t interested in other people, i just didn’t think we worked in a relationship, but were great in this “friendship with benefits” type of thing.

      This all changed when she got sick of the emotional roller coaster through questioning my intentions all the time (i was VERY hot and cold with her, unintentionally of course) and yeah…within a week or two of all our fun stopping, i truly realized how i felt, but i only realized when i was without her, and the happiness, laughter, and confidence she gave me every single day.

      Maybe he needs to be tempted with the idea of losing you before he realizes that he needs and wants you more than anything!

      Because trust me if this is all true “He said he is super physically attracted to me, that he likes me very much, he likes helping me with things and talking and doing things with me, but that he doesn’t want to have to call me and do the things I deserve every day and he doesn’t want to hurt me.” then i reckon he is definitely in love with you!

      P.S. I always got bored talking to my girlfriend on the phone and that’s why we only done it like once a month because the conversation was simply dull – it was just boring because i’m a big talker and she’s not. I loved seeing her and being with her, but sometimes the phone thing just isn’t a guy thing. I know plenty of really really good guys who agree :) So don’t let the be a big deal to you because it’s probably not at all in his head!

      • lina 13 November 2012 at 1:13 am Permalink

        Hey I just saw what you wrote and since your a guy who has been thro this I would like to ask you what u think of my ex bf.
        Basically my ex of on and off 5 years broke up with me on account of he wants to be single go crazy, stating he realized he just isnt ready for the full on relationship. At the same time he also sed that he feels the relationship wasnt working bt that we work btr as “friends with benefits.” He told me he finds me very attractive, im physically his perfect woman ideal of a woman, he loves spending time with me, cuddling with me, watching movies, having out, playing around like kids with me, having intellectual discussions, he praises my opinions and gives great validity to everything i say, he even states that he is afraid that he wont find another girl who will be as beautiful and intelligent as me, yet he doesn’t want to be with me?

        Also as i am going to be moving into my own place very soon [we are not living together bt in close proximity atm], he aks my permission as to whether he can come and see me, and if i say no he gets rather upset, and will go on until i say yes, or until i explain why he shudnt come. I honestly dont know what to make of all this, one minuite he say he thinks he is out of love with me, or that we are btr as friends, yet he loves giving me randoms ksses on the for head, calling me by his cute lil nicknames for me, he loves cuddling and sometimes engaging in even more personal activity, but then he doesnt love me? :(

    • How to Get Your Ex Back Fast 21 May 2011 at 10:29 am Permalink

      Hi Vila,

      It sounds like you tried to reconnect with your ex too soon.

      It is very important that you “both” evolve past the break up and the old failed relationship first, before attempting to reconnect…why?

      Because this will only result in you picking up where you left off in the old “failed” relationship, and the relationship will only fail again.

      I recommend using the no contact rule to give you both the time and space you need to evolve past the break up.

      I hope this helped.

      S.W.

    • Rajeshwari 1 December 2011 at 9:44 pm Permalink

      vila give some space to ur friend. He might love u but he might not want to commit relationship with u soon. Give one chance to realise himself what his heart say in ur obsence… Whether he really wants u or not?

  2. kady 25 March 2011 at 2:20 am Permalink

    me and my ex been broken up for a little while now. we talkeveryday and he spends the night at my house. he told me he still likes me but he isnt ready to be in a relationship. him and his girlfriend just broke up, so he wants to take things slow. last week he introduced me to his mother for the first time. im the only girl that met her. Do you think he still wants to bewith me? so does he just see me as a friend?

    • Raul Bonilla 11 April 2011 at 12:12 pm Permalink

      I believe he still wants you in his life. It may not be as solid as you think but if you give it time and communicate what your intentions are I am certain he will see you in a new light. Do not place added pressure on him and do not be all about him. Let each other live your life as normal. If anything do things to be a catalyst to his interest like starting dance classes, working out, go to school, hang out with friends, get closer to his mother, start a cooking class, and so on. Make him want you more than you want him.

  3. leah 27 March 2011 at 7:58 pm Permalink

    me and my ex broken up a while ago about few months, and i was the one that wanted the break up because i found some issues btw our relationship and wanted time, he had been constantly calling me and want to keep contact with me even though we are taking a break or when we broken up (after the taking a break stage) he said he still loves me a lot and cares for me and can’t forget the things we shared together etc. But now he finally has a girlfriend because he thought that i had a new boyfriend and forgot about him and he moved on now his with the girl but yet he still has feelings for me and i still have feelings for him too, i want to be back with him but i don’t know what to do? yet he loves the girl but also loves me too. Please help here!

    • Raul Bonilla 11 April 2011 at 12:07 pm Permalink

      I am on the other side of the story. I have been trying to show my ex that I care still. I do not go out as much, I always stay in, always try to invite them somewhere, and always feel like giving up. They keep themselves busy and I am getting tired and just want to move on. Your boy probably felt the same way. I met someone but I still love my ex. I am giving it another month and then I will give this other person my full attention. I am the one to blame for the break up but I always made amends. I never cheated but I always felt like they thought I did. Even now after the breakup I haven’t had relations with any other but sometimes I want to give in. I am losing hope….

  4. Monica 12 April 2011 at 6:25 pm Permalink

    ok My ex broke up with me after a three year relationship its been 8 months already and he calls meI still honestly love him to death and he asks me how my day was and how im doing but i just dnt know if he is over me and I should move on I need some advice from a guys point of view I need to kno if I should make it work and take it day by day or am I hurting myself and just let him go and move on ? ? ? ?

  5. Jason Weismann 13 April 2011 at 6:07 am Permalink

    Carrie and I have been together for 15 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together and since our little girl was born she has become more and more distant to me. I suffered privately but have always tried harder and harder to be there, mow the lawn, do things around the home, occasional flowers or random acts of love, and be there for her. We haven’t had sex since our daughter… 3 years :(

    She takes care and lives with her mom so it’s so hard to have any time alone to talk and work on intimate stuff.
    Now another ex-boyfriend has shown interest on Facebook.. I caught the messages early on and warned him, but she was angry I warned him, said nothing would have happened, but this was a real injury to our relationship. I find she has become more distant as though I did something wrong by getting angry threatening this guy.

    Recently I found a card for him, a CD of the music he mentioned on his messages, and she has new exotic underwear that I didn’t notice before… he’s married and said nothing would have ever happened, but I don’t trust a 36 year old woman searching for who she is in a veil of confusion and stress.

    Now she says she just doesn’t feel anything anymore, she’s just done, yet she calls me to give me updates and have little conversations, she tries not to smile when we’re together like she needs to hold that in when I smile. When I try to hug her, she gives me that uncomfortable 1/2 hug, or pulls away from even a kiss on the cheek.

    I’ve lost 35 pounds, I told her that I want to fix whatever mistakes I’ve made over the last 3 years that may have irritated her. I want this to work and I’m willing to do whatever I need to to take care of her, my daughter and make her as happy as I can. I have also told her that I am the only man that will ever love our daughter the way I do and that she’ll never find a man that will love, support and take care of her.. even with a goofy mother situation.

    I know she’s still in there, but what do I do to save this and bring her mind back?:

    A. Tell her if she wants it to be over, I don’t want to be a part of this either and try to separate for a while to let her feel my absence and hopefully get her to miss me? I risk her just getting cold and getting comfortable with me being gone too?

    B. Pull back, but stay around and just keep making her lunches and doing loving things for her and our daughter being there for her and her and just hope she eventually comes back.

    or

    C: Something else that you would recommend?

    I love her so much.. I just want this to be the woman I marry and grow old with… I can forgive her for making a mistake to find herself and hopefully realize what’s real?.. but I need to figure out how to make her consider what she’s about to do.. how it will effect our daughter and what she’s giving up.. if I’m not just jumping to a conclusion.

    Please tell me what you think.

    Oh as a PS.. she’s very shy and usually runs from communication :(

    • Raul Bonilla JR 15 April 2011 at 3:03 pm Permalink

      Jay man, listen, this is your girls problem. You have to do what is right for you. You have worked hard. Now it is time to rest and think about you and your child. If she is doing what she is doing, let her. You just do your thing and do not consider her for anything. Get out there and update your facebook constantly with new pictures. In the pictures include different places, different people. The more you pull away the more she will want you. That is what she wants. She wants a challenge. Stop asking her to do stuff, just do it! be romantic, forceful, and change things up. People get tired of the same thing. When people get too comfortable with each other, the mind begins to wonder about other things. You sound like you are a good man. It will be her loss if she does not save this marriage. You are a man. Stand up for yourself, your daughter, and what you want out of the rest of the marriage. If you do not take a stand, you and her will regret it.

      • Dan Norris 9 November 2011 at 12:32 pm Permalink

        I have a near identical situation to Jason with a practically identical Facebook situation
        I originally met my ex partner in May 2003, fell madly in love with her and then moved my whole world up from London to Bolton in the North of England in November 2003. So we had been together for over 8 and half years. A distance of approx 250 miles. Bearing in mind I’d left all my family & close friends behind to live with her. Things were great for the first year or two and from old greetings cards that I still have she would state how much she adored me and cherished the time we spent together, essentially how I was the one that she wanted to spend the rest of her life wife.
        She then fell pregnant and gave birth to our son William in March 2005, so he is now six and a half.
        The thing is once she got pregnant with Will and then after birth she completely chnged towards me. Before we had been really close had a daily sex life etc. After this time though it all stopped, and I mean in terms of hugging like we used to etc etc. We then didn’t have sex for approx 4 years, yes you heard right 4 years!!! Things were going down hill in our relationship, I was in and out of different work, and there were different things driving a wedge between us. The same pattern went on for years with us both feeling unwanted in different ways, her feeling unappreciated with me not coming home from work and spending time with her instead of doing other things. I felt unwanted with her blowing hot and cold on me in terms of hugging each other and kissing etc, not sitting together close on the sofa etc. And of course the sex thing. Also she would be moody with me for no apparent reason and then apologise afterwards. In the same way though I would be depressed and miserable as a result of this and so the whole vicious circle went on. The whole situation would frustrate me so much as I’d feel powerless to resolve it. When I tried talking to her about it on many an occasion she’s get really angry like I was pressurising her too much. I felt like I didn’t have a voice. On many an occasion in bed when lying next to her at night I would cry my eyes out not knowing wether to leave her or stay. I basically stayed as I still really cared and loved her a lot even though there was a lot of anger there. Also because of the fact that we also have our son.
        So things went on like this for years. Now we both still loved each other, but a lot of the spark had gone. I also now think as it turns out that she didn’t love me as much as before, hence the fact that we wern’t having sex anymore. The last time we had sex was March 2009, sad that I can remember it like that.
        Then about a year and a half ago I got made redundant from a former job, of course even though I was looking for another job this was at a time when there were and still are high unemployment levels in the uk due to recession etc. This basically put yet more strain on our relationship. I got into a rut and was out of work for well over a year would caused me more depression, and wasn’t able to contribute financially like I wanted to.
        Over about 3 years prior to this she had trained at uni to be a midwife, something which made me immensely proud of her.

        We both had faults in this relationship, I had neglected her with simple communication, she had neglected me. We both still loved each other but were essentially both miserable. Then in July of this year I got a new job with reasonable pay whilst I get myself back into my original career. I genuinely thought now I’m working again I will be happier as I can start contributing properly again, we’ll start doing more stuff as a family and mending all our faults.
        Then on August 5th she said we needed to talk, I knew what she meant by this.
        She said that after carrying on with our relationship after a previous chat approx 1 year before maybe we should end it for good as we were both unhappy. I agreed to it mutually and we hugged and cried both saying that we would keep things amicable for the sake of our son. We lived together still in thhe same house for approx another 2 weeks. During this time though she would go out most nights which made me feel really uncomfortable, I noticed how nicely dressed she was on some occasions with a difference in her underwear etc. Then I found some evidence on Facebook suggesting that she had got back in contact with her ex from ten years back, a guy called Dan Hunt. Basically her name was still on a joint mortgage they had together from all those years back and she was meeting him to discuss about getting it removed. Something evidently happened between them though as correspondonces showed that she was discussing their old relationship together and how on Aug 15th she was laying on the sofa in our house thinking about him. Reading all this really upset and hurt me. They had started getting back together then. Even though we were free agents I couldn’t believe she was getting back with him, a guy whom she had originally left due to the fact that he’d cheated upon her. Now he’d taken advantage of her emotional state after splitting with me and acted upon this, thereby getting back with her from this time on. She had removed me as a friend on facebook but a reliable source was telling me of her status’s on there etc. Also her wall posts between him/her & other people. She was back properly with him, going out to restaurants etc. I realised that I’d never stopped loving her, still really cared for her a lot and missed my family life which had disappeared since she had taken Will with her. I told her of my suspicions about her and him but she kept denying it, I knew for certain about a month after we’d split that they were definitely seeing each other. Over the months we’ve had many heated encounters, mainly because she has lied to me about so many things and I knew this all the way through. It’s not like she is gonna move in with him and at the moment is living at her parents before she finds a place to rent herself. If it wasn’t for her parents babysitting she wouldn’t be able to see her old ex. If I was to look at it long term (if it lasts that it) he certainly wont want to get involved with Will in any way and she knows this so how could it possibly have longevity??

        Like her I had one or two faults as well when we were together but those faults were being rectified especially as I was happily back working again, I am basically a hard working nice guy who was always doing stuff around the house etc when we were together. I’ve never been one to sit on my backside and I was always doing favours for other people as well especially her parents, flagging their driveway etc etc. She forgets all this. I was really close to her family as well so it’s also hurt in that sense. These last 3 months have been absolute hell for me crying most days initially when I came home from work to find her gone, and on a depression roller coaster ever since with high and low days, just when things would have started getting better for us both. I’ve never felt so crappy in all my life.
        We’ve made up properly again now and I’ve made it clear over this time that I’m not taking sh*t off of her. Quite a few times when we’ve talked she’s been tearful. The last time we talked we both cried, holding hands as she apologized for the way she had treated me over the years and said that she wish she hadn’t met him for that initial chat about their old joint mortgage. Also how she hadn’t planned it and that it had “just happened” . She still wanted it to happen though.
        She said she still really cares for me as the father of Will and I’m pretty sure that it slipped that she still loves me also. Everytime she’s spoke to me recently she’s been crying partly.

        I’m an attractive guy (according to other people) and I’ve had fun with different women since, also had some serious dates but my head is all over the place. The fact is I realise how much I love Lisa still and how much I want my family unit back. I’m not prepared to just through 8 and a half years away, we had problems but we were still a good couple and it was certainly worth giving it at least one more go working on our problems properly this time. I know I’ve rectified my own faults.
        I havn’t been chasing her through all this period but I will be giving it the complete approach now where it looks like I’ve moved on with the occasional cliff hanger thrown into correspodances, I want her to want me again and realise how I’ve gotten on with my own life since we split.
        I badly want her and Will back at home with me as a family again.
        Please offer any help or advice which you can.

        Thanks,
        Dan

    • Trice 12 January 2012 at 6:48 am Permalink

      Hello, I am a woman. I think she has depression that comes after having a baby. It looks as if your problems started after the baby. This guy just happens to be around during a time where she is feeling low and confused. She needs lots of rest and needs to seek counseling in order to talk about what is wrong. Your efforts aren’t being valued here. You are doing nothing wrong. This problem happens to some women after having a baby. A counselor will walk her thru this and help her care for herself until she feels better. As for you stop trying so hard just be yourself. You are turning her off by your efforts. But let me stress again THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT AND YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG HERE. I would say suggest counseling to her, if she isn’t interested. Then you take some time to love you and your daughter and get yourself back healthy. Continue to express to her that you are trying and that you want her to feel ok that is why you are trying so hard. If she can’t honor and respect that then you should seek some counseling for yourself so you can talk things thru. Don’t worry about this guy that much. I don’t think she is capable of even having an affair right now because of this depression thing. She still loves you but she is confused and needs help, she may not even realize that all of this is taking place but it is and she needs some help fast. DON’T SMOTHER HER. I hope this helps you. your friend

  6. Steven 19 April 2011 at 8:37 am Permalink

    Ok strange situation my wife still for a little longer constantly accused me at looking at women ok I admit at time after being alone for many years that I had a bad habit and did but my heart never left her because I love her more than any other woman in my life and I am 42 years old and not looking to try to find someone else since I’ve never met anyone like her that is why I married her. We have a daughter that is about 17 months old and is my world. I also played this online video game that I gave up since she left me. Being in Spain the law is so slow she pressed charges on me in order to get away from the relationship since she thought I was going to put charges on her for when she ran away for a few days to her parents. Since there is a law that prohibits either parent from taking the child away from the other parent without a court order. So this way she could leave without me filing charges which I wouldn’t and couldn’t do because I love her to much and accidentally said something to the next door neighbor that said I might press the charges. Which pissed her off thinking I was then trying to take the baby and after the court I had all the evidence to prove myself innocent also she dropped the charges. But there was a restraining order placed on me from communicating with her and it has been nearly a month after the court that the prosecuting attorney has to sign the papers removing the restraining order. I’ve unofficially have talked to her when I’ve called my mother in law and she has talked to me but she says it’s over but continued to talk to me. It’s been about 4 months and counting that I haven’t really been able to talk to her and I have written a letter following your guidance about taking fault for my actions. And told her because of all this it has made me change for the better and thanked her for this since I think it was necessary to allow or relationship to grow. Also asked for one more chance and if it doesn’t work out shoe can always walk away losing nothing. But if she doesn’t give me a chance then she will never know how much I’ve changed and how much I will show her how much I love her in the future. Women opinion what chances do you think on convincing her with this and yes I have changed so my actions will speak louder then my words.

  7. Shanel 29 June 2011 at 8:04 pm Permalink

    Well, I think you guys know why I’m here..
    This may be a really long note, so this is just a quick warning.. If you don’t feel like reading something long like this, then don’t read it.

    Well, first off.. this has to do with my Ex Boyfriend of course.. whom I still care about..
    And I need advice and an opinion from you, because I have a question..
    Does he still care about me.? At all.? Because.. I’m starting to believe he doesn’t.. but he says he does.

    Some of my friends are telling me he doesn’t.. and he’s just some asshole that used me. Why they think that.? Because when I was in the hospital with a peptic ulcer.. one of my friends told my Ex what was going on.. and he sounded kind of worried, I guess.. and he said he’d come to see me some way or another.. but he never showed up.. and he didn’t even check in with my friend about what was going on.. and my Ex went to see his new Girlfriend which he’s been seeing probably since the end of May.. instead of checking in to see if I was okay.. which that’s what my friend pointed out. And the question that lingers in my head is..
    “Does he still even care.?”
    Also, once I got out of the hospital.. I checked my Facebook and.. I got this message from my Ex, saying.. (Beware. He has really bad grammar. .__.)
    “i here ur in hospital i wanna come visit you idk if i can though regaurdless i hope all goes well and i hope ur getten better as each day passes ,stay strong dnt give up ♥ ”

    It sounded like he cared.. but then again.. The things my friends pointed out.. that’s proof he doesn’t.
    So.. I don’t know what to think.. or who to listen to.
    As you can see, I’m still learning things.. so I’m quite confused as it is.

    Oh, and plus.. he’s been ignoring me. He blocked me off Facebook once right after we broke up for the second time.. It makes me think he doesn’t want to hear from me, see me, or even speak to me. He said I changed.. and I don’t know how I did.

    I’ve been trying to do the things I used to do.. my passion.. which is drawing.. so maybe I’d forget him.. and I’ve tried meeting new people.. but he still lingers there.
    I live really close to him, too.. So it’s even more hard to forget him. I came here with my Parents.. just to be there for him.. since he wanted to see me again so badly..
    But now I’m stuck in this town.. and he’s seeing another girl.. and I keep carrying a smile on my face.. but inside.. It’s just that sharp feeling. I keep thinking he views me as a monster of some sort..
    I never wanted to lose him.. and when he told me he really liked me and asked me out.. I knew something was going to go wrong and I kind of wanted to stay friends.. but then.. at the same time.. I really liked him as well, Because.. I could relate to him.. we had so much in common and.. he blew my mind. When I first met him.. I never thought we’d even be friends.

    But, I took the risk of our friendship and went for it, anyway.. foolish of me.
    I knew better. I should have listened to my gut feeling..

    Also.. I have another question.. (Sorry for all that up there. -_- Just to let you know.. I’m 14.. so I’m pretty much new to all of this.)
    When he was with his new Girlfriend (He was with her once before, but he broke up with her, because an old friend of his got in the way and kind of ruined for them.. for the time being..)
    Anywho.. when he was with his new Girlfriend.. he said he really missed being with me and all that and I just kept wanting to refuse.. Because he said he was probably going to break up with her and stay with me, since they couldn’t exactly see each other much and it wasn’t working very well.. so.. yeah.
    I felt kind of good about it.. a bad feeling in my stomach.. but then.. him and her came up with a plan.. and this is what they came up with..
    “ok so shanel me and jess came to a conclusion and we say me hang out with u 1 day as if were daten an such and then me hang with her some day and be like the same thing an me pick in the end what really makes me happier ya know ?”

    I felt little.. and used at that very moment.. Like.. I’m that girl on the side.. That girl he can run to when things are bad and he needs someone there..
    And at that moment, I just said to myself, “I’m not a fucking second choice.”

    I want to know if he really does care for me.. What do you guys think..?
    Please Reply.. someone..

  8. kwena 3 July 2011 at 1:17 am Permalink

    My boyfriend left me for another girl,he cheated on me so I decided to end things bt after sometime I realised I still love him and I still want to be with him. I asked him to come over my place to talk and we did talk then we sorted things out,the following day he sent me an email saying he’s over me and he doesn’t want anything to do with me, we have a 4yr old son the he said to me he wants to take him so he stays with him. I acted so crazy I told him way to get off at the same time asking him to come back to me and be with us and he told me he does want to stay with us the problem is that he’s not sure of his feelings for me anymore and he wants to be free so I should let him be. I used to buzz him with private number almost evryday,and used to email him and he never seemed to care and didn’t answer to my mails. I stopped calling him nw and nothing is happening so far, gosh I cannot sit and wait for him to come back and when will that be cause I am hurting inside,crying myself to sleep is neva easy and even in front of my child. I’m really heart broken and I even thought of relocating cz I see him most of the time and it doesn’t allow me to heal. Pls help me and tell me what to do in this situation cz I tried to be silent and he’s nt calling me back and its been 2months now. “Intears”

  9. dude... 7 July 2011 at 6:19 am Permalink

    okay guys iv’e put my name as dude because i don’t want people to know who i am just in case… i am a student and 19 years of age. So here is my situation in which i really need hep with :(.

    My girlfriend (ex now) recently just finished me because she said she isn’t ready for a relationship and she doesn’t want to be tied down, which I don’t completely understand because i always let her do what she wanted and i never said a word. she believed that she wasn’t good enough for me and i should move on and find someone who makes me happy when the truth was she made me happy she was my world!
    It wasn’t an easy ride to get with her i waited 6 months of her saying no haha! but from the moment we started talking i fell in love :( and when we got together i was just so happy! She so different from anyone ive met and the only girlfriend ive ever completely trusted and now its over :(.

    She tells me she misses me and she still loves me but she wont tell me that anymore… we still txt and sometimes we have a good laugh and other times its dull and she so blunt with me. what do i do???so i was wondering if anyone could give me advice because i don’t want to push her away and i just want her back :( ive waited 6 month already and ill do it again if i have to! i really do believe that she is the one and my soul mate and ive completely fallen for her! so please anyhelp?

    Many thanks.

    • Anne 11 September 2011 at 5:25 pm Permalink

      Awww. You are such a sweet guy.
      I’m in the same situation. My recently-ex-bf of 7months told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship ‘cuz he wanted to focus in study and career AND he was “curious” about an old crush of him that just recently walked back into his life. And yep, guess what. He tells me he misses me, thinks about me everyday and still loves me. Guess what else. He also tells me that I deserve better and that it hurts him but he want me to be happy with somebody who would treat me right.

      I was like you. I went here in hope I can get him back. After 2 months, when my emotional finally calmed down some how, I talked to him again about our break up because he texted me (we are in different countries) saying that he wanted me back and a few weeks later, he said he still think I deserve better and that he thought someday we can rekindle our flame and so he wanted to keep me around until that happen. After asking a lot of questions, I finally figure it out that he was worried that now I’m no longer in a relationship with him, I’m free to find a new love. And at that moment, I realize…this guy only wanted me back because he’s scared that somebody will snatch what used to be his away. He doesn’t want to be back with me because he wants to BE with me.

      And I finally come to a conclusion that there’s is NO way I’m gonna wait around for him. Not because he isn’t a wonderful man. He is. Not because I don’t love him anymore. I still do. He just isn’t the right boyfriend I’m looking for.

      ==========

      If she says you deserve better. It’s a red flag. Her mind and soul are telling her that you aren’t “the one.” At least, not right now. Give her space and time to think. Pull back. Focus on yourself. It’s so cliched but the moment I focus on improving myself for my own sake, and not for getting somebody who doesn’t want me back, I feel better. Improving myself becomes a fun thing that I want to do everyday, not chores.

      I start to love myself. I do not know of the future. Who knows, my ex and I might get back some day in the future or I will meet a guy who’s gonna say “I’m glad you didn’t get back to your ex-bf.” Either way, I win. :D

      Focus on yourself is what you should do.

    • Samantha 21 March 2012 at 8:43 am Permalink

      OMG!!! Im so srry! Listen, I may be a bit young to worry about boys and trust me I know that ( i am almost 13 )but I recently was dating thiboy Mike and well at first i brokeup with him becase m friends strted hating me because i was dating him! IDK ! but i REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY like hi still an he seems to be over me:( but IDDDDKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WAT T DO! ANYONE,ANYONE AT ALL PLEASE HEL ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

  10. francheska 13 July 2011 at 6:23 am Permalink

    My ex cheated on me one night when he was drunk and although I broke up with him it felt like he really did because he said he wasnt ready for the commitment and just wanted to have fun. A few days ago though he texted me drunk apologizing and trying to talk, i completely shut him out. Do you think he ever wants to get back with me?

    • alyssa 26 August 2011 at 12:59 am Permalink

      Francheska,
      it seems like he just wants you there because he knows you might be there and forgive him everytime he messes up. He might wanna get back with you but if it takes him getting drunk to realize it, then hes not worth it

    • Anne 11 September 2011 at 5:03 pm Permalink

      Are you looking for commitment? If you are. Then he isn’t for you. At least, not right now. If he only want to have fun while you want a serious relationship with commitment. He isn’t for you.

      “Usually (not always) when the really truly right person comes along that your deepest soul knows is not merely just a perfect person, but is truly the one for you, “reason” does not fully take the lead, but in the least, you are determined to make a way for “everything else” to work around you two…because you two are no longer two, but one.” <— Somebody wrote this while I was browsing the net. I love it.

      And I agree with Alyssa. If it takes him drunk to realize then he's absolutely not worth it. Harsh but true. There are better men out there.

  11. HelpME 8 August 2011 at 7:13 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend and I Dated For a Year. He went to a different state for 3 months, and then out of no where told me he didnt love me anymore, and is coming home soon. Everything was Fine before he Left, What should I do??

    • Anne 11 September 2011 at 5:29 pm Permalink

      If you don’t know the reason of the break up, you can’t fix it. Try to find out what happen. Then decide whether you should stay or you should move on. Think if it’s worth saving or not.

    • Ivy 27 October 2011 at 5:20 pm Permalink

      SAME WITH ME!!!
      I’m the one in comment 43.
      Sigh, I really don’t understand everything!

    • Emeli 2 November 2011 at 1:46 pm Permalink

      Need more information on why he left for 3 months. My opinion is he probably cheated on you and feels guilty or he doesn’t love you anymore. If you really love him you will wait until he gets home and talk things through.

  12. Khloe 13 August 2011 at 8:20 am Permalink

    My ex broke up with me after a year and a half relationship. He said it’s because he doesn’t love me anymore, but still likes me and has feelings, and has emphasized that he cares still, and he really hopes i’m okay. He promises he hasn’t cheated and that there’s no-one else, and i know that’s true, but he said that he doesn’t feel like a boyfriend anymore, and that we should be just friends. He wants to be single and alone for a while, and also he’s starting college soon, but didn’t give this as a reason, but maybe this could be part of it?
    He did it over the phone, because he said he wouldn’t be able to do it face to face, but I asked him to meet up next week, as I didn’t feel I had much of a say in it all, and also because I have questions to ask as a sense of closure if this really is it. We are both officially single however at the moment.
    I don’t want myself to hope as he’s said he doesn’t see the relationship going any further, but I can’t help thinking he does love me but doesn’t realize it at the moment. I love him very much. What should I do.

    • Purpleperson 17 October 2011 at 10:28 pm Permalink

      Khloe,

      I am in the same boat. My boyfriend (ex now) broke up with me because he was going away to college. We were together for 2 years, and the last day we saw each other was excruciating. He was bawling and it was so hard to let go. I just cannot believe we’re not together anymore. I don’t know what to do either, but you’re not alone. :(

      • snicky 11 December 2011 at 5:31 pm Permalink

        I had the same thing as well, 2 years in he said he needed space that he does love me but isn’t in love anymore. He was crying and saying he can’t and it was very hard for both of us. We ended up reuniting after about a month and then split again three weeks later. Its a hard and rocky road with constant contact every day but now he is seeing someone else and is very clear that he has made a decision and he isn’t given us a second chance. I sometimes think having left it alone the first time would have spared me alot of pain however I hope and yearn for us to be together one day and I just can’t let go. Take care you two i know how you feel.

  13. Janice 22 August 2011 at 2:47 am Permalink

    I lost my virginity to a guy who became infatuated with me and wanted to see me every day afterwards… after three weeks, however, he decided we couldn’t have a future together and stopped contacting me, but we kept running into each other and would always sleep together. I told him I loved him after a few months, and he told me he loved me a couple months later… he wanted me to meet his family and everything… but then changed his mind about a week later. This on and off again relationship continued for a year, and then we both moved from the city we met in.

    He was not dating or sleeping with anyone else during this time. (well there was one girl when we were in our “off” period but he said that it wasn’t the “same” with her, and that he was really lonely without me.) He dates girls to marry them, basically, and thinks the term “Girlfriend” is a very serious one.

    Anyway, he broke my heart when he left me emotionally and it was difficult to leave him physically too. I waited two months and then contacted him through an email, stating everything I wanted to say and clarify in our relationship because we had trouble articulating our feelings for each other. I wished him luck wherever he was and said that I didn’t expect a response from him.

    Two HOURS later, he emailed me back, saying that he was sorry for everything and everything was his fault… and that he was sorry again…that he honestly didn’t know why he was such an “idiot” and that he wished the best for me too. I emailed back one last time, thanking him for his honesty.

    Three weeks later, he asked me why my email was so short, and wanted to know if he had “said anything bad” in his email. He then said that he wanted to “start over” as strangers because he felt bad, and that I could message him whenever I wanted to, and he would too. I agreed that we should start over if we were to talk again, and that he was wrong about everything.

    Since then we’ve sent messages to each other about two times, and that was about three weeks ago. We live in different countries…. but I’m thinking about the future and I definitely want to be with him. He was my first love, yes, but I know he is my only!!!

    My question is…

    What are the chances of him coming back to me? He has strong feelings for me, I know, but the situation and timing that we met first was just terrible… he’s also very ambitious and focused with the career… but is ridiculously bad at interpersonal relationship skills. What should I do? Make him feel loved? Or avoid contact altogether? It’s taking everything I have not to send him an email telling him I miss him right now… what should I say to him that implies I miss him without making him think that I’m too easy to catch??? How can I make myself valuable to him without losing him completely?

    • Anne 11 September 2011 at 4:56 pm Permalink

      My question is, how do you know he’s your “only” ? It’s only been about 3 months since you guys parted ways.
      The thing that I find, is that sometimes, the ex said they have strong feeling for you and such. If they aren’t playing with your heart, then indeed, they really do have strong feelings for you. They are sincere. The thing is, they might not know what they are talking about. And so do you. It’s like how you feel so strong for your first love in high school and ten years later, you look back and said, “it was just a puppy love.”

      If he says he wanna start over as strangers. Then start over as strangers. Do you go all the way to send an email saying you miss him to a stranger? Keep it neutral. The more you rush it, the worse it becomes. If it’s true love, believe me, it’ll never die. “People who are meant to be together will always find their way back to each other. They make take detours in life, but they’re never lost.”

      Don’t worry about losing him if you aren’t the one who is unsure or “wrong” like him. Just keep a neutral mode when he contacts you.

  14. miz 22 August 2011 at 12:21 pm Permalink

    to the geoff guy? I’m going to try that whole hanging out and then completely just stopping and see if that works but how do i go about texting him? Do i still text him the way I used to while we’re having those cool movie nights or what? how did you ex go about the whole texting thing?

  15. Koki 24 August 2011 at 4:40 pm Permalink

    Thanks for the great site. You are an expert in this field. I learn a lot from your postings.

  16. Martha 29 August 2011 at 12:07 pm Permalink

    Well IWas With Him For Almost Two Years , I See Him every Day in School , Its Hard We talk But He Looks So Much Happier , I Want Him Back , We Talk About It But It Never Happns

  17. john 3 September 2011 at 1:39 am Permalink

    Getting down to the crux of the matter, we broke up at the end of May, for the third time, and I didn’t contact her for a whole month. I was in a bad place before the break up, a real wuss with a lot of issues, but I’ve worked through most of them. I joined the gym, I run 5k now three times a week, have taken up a home study course and I feel that I’m actually in a better place now than when she fell for me originally. I had to get back in touch to pick up my things from her house and we had a chat about being friends and hanging out. We hung out a few times, went shopping, went for breakfast etc. and always had a great laugh. I teased her quite a bit and she always responded by play wrestling and poking, which I took for a good sign, and she always gave me hugs before we parted ways. Anyway, she called me fix her computer 2 weeks ago and then bought me breakfast and we hung out for a few hours. When we went back to her place I told her straight out that I couldn’t be friends with her and that I wanted all or nothing. She looked sad and told me that she didn’t feel that way about me any more, or if she ever could again. I asked for a yes or no answer, which I don’t know if it was a good or bad idea, and she took a while to think about it and didn’t really want to answer but she ended up saying no. I walked out and told her to take care….. She still had my sunglasses, so last Friday I went down to her house to pick them up and she asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her and her 2 boys. We did, and again we had a great laugh. I honestly don’t know what to do from here on in? I don’t want her thinking I’m playing games with her. What I really want to know is this, is there any chance for a reconciliation? I do care about her and we always have fun even hanging out as friends. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you..

  18. Maria 7 September 2011 at 11:21 am Permalink

    my and i had been together for 3 years and a couple months, we broke up last week bc i felt he wasnt being faithful to me.. he said that he never cheated on me but i belived he did.. he eventually got sick of me accusing him all the time so he ended it with me. we have been on and off all three years but we always get back together. the breaks up are never longer then a week or 2 untill we are back with each other. this time he told me he was never come back and that i should move on. he said he didnt love me anymore. but i have reasons to belive that he did love me bc of everything he would do for me all the time.. all the time we spent together. we did everything together. we were together every day and everyday. so how can he say he didnt love me? i just want to kno if he actually is over me or if he will be back again… im prety much use to this rollercoaster but i realy belive that he is gone for good this time and that really scares me bc i love him soo much. idk what to do

  19. Kelsey 8 September 2011 at 2:08 pm Permalink

    My ex and I have been on and off for 4 years. I have loved him for a very long time. We got together back in February on valentines day. It just seemed like everything was gonna be different this time. But I’m still 16 and my mom didn’t let me see him. She hated him so I never saw him. We were together for almost 2 months and we never fought ever. For a few days he wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. One night he texts me and tells me he’s been thinking. He said he didn’t know if he wanted this anymore. I was devastated. I love him. He stopped talking to me for 3 months and one day I prank called him and after that he started texting me. I asked him if he still loved me. He said as a friend but he misses me all the time. Now I asked him if he was honest when he told me he didn’t love me. He said I love you as a friend. Im just not good with relationships and I got scared when things got serious between us. I thought if I ended it I couldn’t mess it up. I’m sorry for everything I did to you. He just kept saying sorry for hurting me. Then he said I’m sorry I put you through this. You’re a nice and beautiful girl and I’m sorry you fell in love with an a**hole like me. And last night he called me and it was like nothing ever happened. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to get him back. I love him more than anything in this world. What should I do? ):
    Sincerely,
    Kelsey

    • Anne 11 September 2011 at 4:38 pm Permalink

      From personal experiences and seeing other relationships, once there’s a pattern of “on and off” going on, it’s never a good sign. It’s already a problem by itself.

      If he says he loves you as a friend, take it for his words. There are probably no hidden meaning. Of course, he misses you. You guys were in a relationship for 4 years. All the happy memories. Everyone is unique too. Of course he misses you but missing you as a friend and missing you as a lover is two different thing. If he’s sincere about missing you, it means that he has respect for you. Keep it. If he feels he’s an “****hole” and “you deserve better,” it’s a red flag.

      Definitely stay “No Contact.” As I see that you are still very emotional. Stay “no Contact” and just casually reply back to his call/texts but don’t jump to anything. Use this time to refresh yourself. What is it that you have always wanted to do but didn’t have time before? Rock climbing? Fishing? Do it. Take photos. The key ingredient to attract anyone, is loving yourself. (not in narcissistic way but spiritual) Improving yourself. Not for him. For yourself.
      “Carry yourself like a queen, then you’ll attract a king.”

      Sadly enough, this whole love/relationship requires patience and only time can tell. Sometimes, love is about timing as well. Who knows, a few years from now, you guys meet up again, all grown up and more mature about love. Who can say that the sparks won’t be there anymore?

      If it’s too hard for you at first. Use this rule that I use on myself during the first month of my break up: “Wait until the sun sets, and the sun rises again.” If you wanna tell him ‘you miss him’ (which you shouldn’t right now) then wait for a day before you do it. During that time, don’t think about the decision. Think about other things in your life.

      Another tips that help me sooth the pain is “let yourself love him quietly.” Or I called it “let the love fade naturally.” The more you force yourself to stop loving him, the harder it is. I have a lot of resentment towards my ex right now, but I just let go of all these hatred and just “love him” inside. I try not to tell him I miss him and absolutely I don’t tell him I still love him. We talk sometimes. It’s hard to not saying “I miss you” when he keep telling me that but as I stay quiet about it, I feel that everyday, it gets easier to let him go.

      =====

      One more thing though. I love this website and Ashley’s tips. What I like about this is not, like she says, quick fix/quick solution. I like what she tells us to do is a road named “Get your ex back” in which as we go on this path, we find ourselves again. Our true self. Our better self. From there, as we go on, we have a clearer mind about our relationship and we can determine whether the ex is worth getting back. If we decide to get back, then it’s great because we are already our better selves. However, if we decide that the ex is not worth it, then we are already our better selves for the next better man that comes to our life.

      Sorry for a super long reply. I wish you the best.

  20. Lisa 11 September 2011 at 4:28 am Permalink

    My ex and I broke up 6 months ago. Ever since we broke up he started talking to my best friend, flirting with her and telling her he loved her. We still spoke everyday though and he often asks me about my love life or if I like anyone and if I’m leaving he always asks me who I’m going with. A few weeks ago I stopped talking to him so that I could try to move on seeing as I still love him very much. I then started talking to him again and he told me how much he missed me and that he still cares very very much. He thanked me for giving him another chance and we’ve been close since. He just stopped talking to my friend about a few days ago and he told me he had deep feelings for her. I sucked it up and faced the fact that he liked her and when I brought it up again he said that ever since she left he’s surprised that he’s been really okay with it. I then thought that maybe he didn’t like her as much as he thought he did but I’m not sure if he still loves me though….any advice?

  21. Chase 12 September 2011 at 11:38 am Permalink

    Me and my ex had broken up about a week and a half ago. She says that she’s over me and is already going to a dance with another guy. I don’t know what to do because she doesn’t seem to have any interest in talking to me and I want her back desperately. What do I do?

  22. gianpaolo 17 September 2011 at 9:02 am Permalink

    hi guys! my name is gianpaolo i’m italian living in dublin. please i need your help! i’ve been almost six years with my ex girlfriend. we really loved each others a lot, of course sometimes we had problems like in every couples but the last 19 of march she decided to break up with me. during these months she went over italy for long holidays with her cousin as she likes my native country. during that period of time that she was away for holidays i started to bombard her with tons of sms and calls tryng to get her back…. but it was useless, yesterday she came back to dublin, we met up and started to talk about things, and i was pushing her again to come back with me and she said once again that she don’t feel anything for me. then she started to cry when she saw me that i’m still struggling but she also said to care about me… what i have to do now? i don’t want to loose her forever! i want to try rekindle the situation if is possible! please help me out guys any suggestions is very welcome! i really appreciate! thanks a lot. gianpaolo

    • DANE 4 November 2011 at 9:27 pm Permalink

      HEY. PM ME WE’VE GOT THE SAME SITUATION :(

  23. luke 22 September 2011 at 8:24 pm Permalink

    Idk… it shouldnt be like this it seems… i dated a girl from my hometown, we dated for 2 months, 2 months of talking on the phone for over 6 hrs a day (because she lived far out of town) but when we were with each other… idk how to explain it, magical? she felt it, and so did i…. then one day just before the end of october, she ended it, and stumbled over several reasons on why she was doing it… holding back tears i pleaded with her to just give me a reason you know? and choking on her words she said i “irritated” her… which i didnt understand, not because i have a huge ego or anything, but because on the phone i was never awkward with her, in person i never annoyed her, i might do little things to purposely agitate her, but i didnt do them all the time, its a year later and we talk every now and again, but a month or so again we finally talked about it, why she deliberately shattered me to pieces, and she said because i wasnt changing like she was… and still not real clear on that one, because like i said every time i was with her it was nothing but smiles, and she didnt change until we broke up… and like an idiot i didnt realize she didnt want it… though the constant tears i heard about and the attempts to try and call me, i figured she hated me based on a phone call about a week after our break up… she almost sounded like i was bothering her, invading her… i didnt want to seem like the guy who couldnt let go, so i stopped talking to her, i began resenting her, and that eventually turned into an undieying annoyance with her very NAME. the worst part is, when i day dream randomly, or hear her name on the television it always crosses my mind, how much i cared for her, and how little it seemed she cared for me, i know im not over her, i know i still want her back, but now i moved to a different state to forget my past, im returning to my hometown for college, and will have to eventually face the fact that in my heart shes the one and only still. funny…. a year later and hearing her losing her virginity to someone other than me… sent me into a rage/sadness that like everything else, ive had to bury so i wouldnt have to deal with it, i want to talk with her more… i want to just let it all go and tell her how much i still want her, but im afraid i would lose her forever then. i just wonder if she still thinks of me from time to time… im not sure on what i should do, push it out of mind? pretend she never meant anything to me, and let her go down the path of destruction she is on now? (sleeping with random people, raging with alcohol, etc.) or try to re-establish a foothold in her life, show her i still care, that she matters to me? which i find impossible because i spent so much time developing hate for her… i can barely stand a word from her mouth. lol ^ one whole year of repressed feelings…

  24. James 2 October 2011 at 8:01 pm Permalink

    Hi,

    Have been broken up for 1 year. We’ve known each other 3 years, lived together for 2 years. Loved each other a lot, had a lot of fun, and were incredibly attracted to each other the entire time (and even after we broke up – for a while before things got messy). We broke up because of our lifestyles; the things we were doing caused a lot of friction between us and inevitably resulted in both of us hurting each other.

    After breaking up the situation turned sour, but still… love and attraction were not gone. She had to break-up because we were arguments over silly things and it became frequent.

    After a month (or less) or so being broke up she got with another guy… constantly called him my name, constantly cried about me and constantly spoke about me with her friends (I know this as I’ve spoke with her best friend).

    This “rebound” went on, I made the usual mistakes of threatening him, telling her she was rebounding and open her eyes! Begging, pleading. The usual bad mistakes until I stopped a few months back… bare in mind. This entire time we were always in contact with each other she even initiated contact with me. It was generally always bad contact, us both arguing, fighting over the break-up and this other guy.

    Anyway, a month or so ago… after those couple of months not contacting each other… we’ve started chatting. Something seriously big has changed. We both no longer live the lifestyle we lived (both a lot more chilled and not doing the things we used to before we even met) and we both have completely forgiven each other. We are actually talking!

    She told me she is not in love with anyone, not even sure she likes this guy anymore and would like to be friends… I am like “what the f**k!!!!, Where’d this come from?”. I did say I’ like to get to know her again, possibly try and rekindle things… I was nothing like I used to be. In fact I felt ok with things. She said “No I just want to be friends…” which I replied “I cant really just be friends but I will be friends with you for a while to see how things go.”. She neither agreed or disagreed but still contacts me. I never contact her. From what we were like months back this is a 180 turn around!

    We still haven’t exchanged phone numbers, I changed mine first because it was getting too much for me and I couldn’t cope with us both being in touch. And then she changed hers. We both blocked each other on social networks and removed everything from our lives which reminded us both of each other. This was a good move and was needed. Working in IT I use IM as a means to chat to colleagues etc, thats how she found me again.

    Anyway, after a few days chatting I gave her my number and said “sure call me sometime and we’ll have a chat”. She is still with this guy and said “I might call you whenever we break up”. I kinda laughed about it but explained it wasn’t exactly nice to talk with one another… for obvious reasons. She agreed but still contacts me frequently and is now being very open and warm. However, there are moments when she withdraws. I am taking everything in my stride, trying to avoid hinting to to chatting on the phone, meeting or anything to do with anything and I am shortening my answers and lessening the contact we have with each other. Just to keep myself safe.

    I am under no disillusion, this girl would have married me. We never fell out of love, we needed to break up and I see now that it did us both the world of good. Bt there is still something there that I cant exactly explain. She tells me things that are quite personal, and no one knows we are talking.

    I’d just like to know how to further this progression into her calling me and completely removing herself from the rebound she ended up in and then aim towards building attraction back up. I’ve been pretty cool about things but know I have to change something soon.

    Thanks

  25. navjot 5 October 2011 at 6:37 am Permalink

    Hii had very bad experience earlier in love life as my ex b.f used me 4 his physical satisfaction but i met a new boy and m in relationship with him.he told me every thing about him and his past life and same i told him except tht i m nt virgin.We came so close and had sex with each othr on tht day he get 2 knw tht m nt virgin.our relation broked off.but i apologised and felt guilty about this and startd our relationship again, he said he can not marry me nw but he say he love me.we hardly talk and meet each other nw. He says u dont attract me towards your self.do u think he love me or just he wants do sex with me,will m able make up all things right again and become life partner?plz suggest me wht 2 do m realy cnfusd

    • Esha 4 January 2012 at 5:17 pm Permalink

      He is using u for sex!

  26. Jamie 7 October 2011 at 8:29 pm Permalink

    About two Months ago my girlfiend broke up with me, for reasons which were justified and since i’ve had a chance to step back and look at our relationship i can see her reasoning. I’ve followed the suggestions on this website and a few days ago she sent a text message. Basically saying shes ok and that is just wasn’t meant to be. that bit stung a bit but she is of course intitled to her opinion. She has sent the occasional message since and eventually she put forward in a message and opening to meet up but not in a date or even alone senario, basically she was getting her horse seen by the vet and mine needed seeing too so she suggested that i bring my horse to hers which makes it easier.

    I want her back but i dont think i’m personally ready to see her with confidence, so i basically replied that i dont think it would be a great idea yet.

    So my question is do you think i done the right thing or do you think i should have swallowed my pride and put on a brave face and went anyway as this might have been her way of saying “i’m ok with you”. And have i just missed an important stepping stone in getting her back in my life?

  27. Maree 7 October 2011 at 11:39 pm Permalink

    Hey

    its been 2 months since my boyfriend and i have broken up but i still feel like his giving me mixed signals. we have contacted each other from time to time since the break up so there hasnt really been a time of silence.

    anyway a little bit more about my situation..
    My boyfriend and i were together for 8 and a half months.

    we saw each other quite a lot, and were very serious with one another, meet each others familys, attended some of his family events. we even spoke about marriage together and one day moving in together and buying a dog. we went through a bit of a rough patch were out of no were he was scared of the seriousness of the relationship. wasnt sure about marriage in the future, seeing eachother so much (he pretty much got cold feet about the relationship). anyway a few months passed and it seemed a little up and down. until his friend got into an accident and it made things a little more stressful. few weeks later after that he broke up with me, saying things like i feel like im not ready for a relationship, its too stressful, i just need time to myself. i was so distort for all this. a week later he calls me in the middle of the night crying convincing me to see him saying he misses me, he loves me and that im the only girl he wants to be with BUT, he doesnt like the pressure of the relationship. that night was a bit of a relapse for me. the weeks after were still depressing. i ended up giving my the stuff he gave me as gifts, tried not talking, tried talking. i tried everything to move on. but its just not working. recently we meet up, trying to be friends. i still feel like his stringing me along. he said things like you if we were 25 i would of married you but i dont want you to wait that long. then when i asked him if he would ever be ready for a relationship and it would be with me he was like i dont know, i dont know. then i asked him if he loved me still, and he took a while to answer, and when he answered he didnt look at me. he replied with no because then i would be with you. minutes passed and i was just stopped crying, so i was a bit relaxed. he then mutters under his breath in a hestitating tone, “you dont know i might call you wanting you back” then when i turned around to say what, dont say that, he claims that he was joking.

    anyway so thats my situation. its been about 2 months after the breakup now and i dont know what to do to get him back. im scared i have no chance anymore :(.

    im just really desperate to get him back, his the love of my life and i would do absolutely anything.

    could you please try help me? i want him back as soon as possible :(

    Maree

  28. nk 12 October 2011 at 8:20 am Permalink

    Maree,
    You NEED to have no contact with him.he says he’s not ready for a..
    Relationship. So why are you trying to talk him round ? He’s confused and wants you as an option. If you stay an option no doubt you will get hurt. Ignore his calls and if possible avoid him at all costs. If he decides to mature or work out his issues then you may have a chance. Just concentrate on being good to yourself.
    I did this and its the only way to work things out.

  29. Jack 27 October 2011 at 1:51 pm Permalink

    Hey everyone. First of all I am a guy and am looking to do whatever it takes (and changer for the better) to be with my ex again. My ex gf and I recently had a get-together that seemed like it would be a promising re-connection for both of us. In May I sporadically took off from Atlanta (our hometown) to DC to look for jobs in my career. I had cheated on her once previously but was honest with what happened. When I left for DC i went out drinking one weekend and a girl kissed me and I resisted after a second. When I got home I had told her what had happened and that I thought it was best if I moved on b/c of my actions. I suffered this entire summer working a dead-end job in a restaurant and jobless at this point. In August she finally got back in touch with me and she told me “it just can’t work b/c of the distance.” On her b-day in September I sent Teleflora to her house along with a letter with some pictures of us. She then reiterated, “The only way it would work Jack is if you were here in Atlanta.” At the end of September I decided it was best to comeback to be with all of my family and friends in Atlanta. Just being 22, working a low-paying restaurant job, and on my own in DC, it only made sense for me to move back to Atlanta. When I told my ex about me moving back she seemed a little bit open to the idea. Her and I were being humorous with texting and she told me when i get settled in Atlanta we can meet up. We met up last week for a dinner and movie get-together and after the movie she told me she was, “over me.” I was completely shocked and did not expect it coming. I was heartbroken too, bigtime. All the women on this forum,”PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY. I AM HUMAN AND HAVE MADE MISTAKES.” Its been a rough past week and all I think about is her and how if i could get back with her, I would make it the most worthwhile relationship to her. Is it really over or is she trying to get back?

    I also meant to tell you that on that date we went on last week I was kind of forward with things; telling her that we could take things slow and casual. She then responded with the ‘IM OVER’ you statement. Think there’s still a chance after that? Let me know. My b-day is also coming up and I was wondering if her sending me a message would mean anything. I want things to work out in the long-run.

    Jack

    • lou 16 December 2011 at 7:19 pm Permalink

      Jack,
      For woman,when we hear from a man asking us to make it “slow and casual,especailly from an Ex, that doesn’t sound good to us.You can expect a woman to say that without any offensement from the man.In the first place,you went there because of her, you should have been honest with her,you should never said that “taking slow and be casual” because for us woman,we don’t like to hear that. For us it looks like you are still weighing everything if the relationship works or not.There may only be 2 reason why she said that..
      #1.Maybe she was offended with what you said which made her say that.
      #2..Maybe after your meeting, she realized that the feeling was not there anymore.
      To make things clear,why not talk to her again to clarify everything. Good luck!

      • Jack 19 December 2011 at 10:40 am Permalink

        Lou,

        Its been weird since then. She went to an NFL game with me. She facebooked me and asked me how my thanksgiving was and all of that. Havent heard anything since then. I dont know if it’s mixed emotions or what. I’ve been with other girls recently but I can’t get her off of my mind. Its hard. Im just going to focus on myself for awhile. Whats meant to be will happen…I guess. Let me know what you think about that.

        Jack

  30. Ivy 27 October 2011 at 4:45 pm Permalink

    Hi, so, around 6 weeks ago I finally had the courage to ask out the guy I had been crushing on for 4 years(Serious!). My best friend happened to like him too, and asked him out at the same time, he choose me though. She kept on trying to break us up, but he said not to worry, he was very happy with me. Then after a little over a week… I went to China for a holiday. Just a week before I was going to go back… He said that he didn’t like me anymore!
    I didn’t understand why, and it was so sudden. Now all my friends hate me, and I am upset about our break up.

  31. Kat 28 October 2011 at 3:41 pm Permalink

    Over the summer, me and him broke up (I was the one that ended it) because I was seriously doubting him. At the beginning of the summer he texted me a lot, we talked on the phone, and he said he “luved” me. He was so sweet and I was so glad we were together. That was while he was on vacation in Florida. When he came back from Florida, he started acting differently. He barely texted me at all, started saying “I luv you” less and less, never called, and came up with excuses as to why he never contacted me. I didn’t believe them because they seemed so completely ridiculous. I got really mad at him one day and after his birthday, I started to seriously think about breaking up with him. I finally got up the courage on July 8th. When I said it, my heart was literally in pain because I was so depressed. He asked to still be friends and I said yeah, of course. He never contacted me after that except once, but he never replied to my text. A little over a month later, I decided to try again. He answered back, but he seemed on edge, not sure about his emotions I guess (this was in a text by the way). After a while, he kind of relaxed more and when school started it was almost like we were still together. A month or 2 after school started, I admitted I still liked him. He said he still like me too but he wasn’t ready to get back together.
    My point is, some days he acts like he’s really interested (touching me, talking to me, looking at me, etc., a lot), but the next day it’s usually the exact opposite. Still a little eye contact but not very much talking or touching. I still really like him, but I want to know how he really feels about me. I don’t want to ask him, I would seem desperate. He also doesn’t really text me, though he usually doesn’t anyway. Normally if I text him, he’ll answer unless he’s busy or the signal in his house is acting screwy. He doesn’t call any, either.
    Any suggestions or advice?

    ~Kat~

    P.S. PLEASE don’t give me lectures about being too young to date! I’ve gotten enough of those and I’m kind of tired of it.

  32. Maria Andrews 29 October 2011 at 3:49 pm Permalink

    Hi I’ve know Steve for the past two and a half years. I still truly love Steve and he sais he loves me. The prolem is we had a fight over the phone and he told me he could not do this anymore. Break -upand go back. He text me and told me he is following his gut feeling. We just don’t have the right fit we keep bumping heads. That he is starting a new business and feels good to spend more time with his kids. When I text him he says he has his mom in his mind. She is very ill. It’s been two months and has not called me. It’s driving me crazy!!!!!!!

  33. Megan Richards 1 November 2011 at 9:13 pm Permalink

    me and my boyfriend of 2 years had split up and within a few weeks he was with someone else :/ .. i dont believe he loves her it must be rebound but im scared i will never get him back. he is my world and id do anything to be back with him

    Help !!

  34. fern 4 November 2011 at 10:42 pm Permalink

    me and my ex had a very messy break up. been together a year and 2 months
    lots of arguments and hurtful things have been said e.g im a pyhco, a bitch.. ive messed everything up.
    i wrote him and love letter he ripped it up, then next day told me he read it (put the pieces back together).
    hes always saying how he doesnt know if he loves me or not, doesnt know what he thinks of me, he spends time at this girls flat (always seen her number written down somewhere or him once in while bringing her into conversation) and i get so worked up and scared about it ive asked him if he seeing her and he said we are just mates and there were other people there and i only say i only ask for my own sanity and he gets mad saying it pisses him off how i get so worked up and over think things, he has said it wont work now, it might in the future it might not. he always chats really nicely to other girls and ignores me. he never rings or messages me.. never. i dont think he ever will, but i dont want to always be calling him. but the monday just gone i stayed at his after we both been at a party. he cuddled me during the night kissed my forehead and the next day didnt even mention anything and would back to being cold. his answers are always i dont know or sometime wont even speak to me. i feel like ive lost him and i really want him back, im in my second day of no contact its been a month since we have split and im so confused if i even have a chance or should just walk away.

  35. McKenna 6 November 2011 at 8:17 am Permalink

    Soo, my ex Bf and I dated for about 6 months until out of no where, he avoided me. It was so weird bc I never did anything wrong and he just didn’t reply to any of my texts. Apparently, we were broken up already bc of the fact that my friend had asked him if we were broken up and he said, “I reckon so…” Anyway, 3 months passed and my best guy friend and I developed feelings for each other and then 3 months later, we started dating. Well, when school started, (this was before my best guy friend and I started dating) my ex and I had the same lunch and he would constantly keep looking at me and he would just sit somewhere where be could see me. And when he would look at me, it wasn’t in a creepy or bad way; it would be a long stare that I can’t really describe. Sometimes he wouldn’t look as much bc he would sit at the table with all of his friends. And now he just smiles at me when JT sees me. I get this really huge feeling and urge that I want him back, but I also feel bad because I have a boyfriend. Is it normal that I somewhat still like my ex since its only been half a year since we broke up? And does it mean anything that he looks at me constantly? Help?

  36. Kiana 7 November 2011 at 4:32 am Permalink

    heey
    i broke up with me ex sometime in july we only lasted a month and a bit. She only ended it with me because she had loads of family stuff and problems going on and she didnt want to get me mixed in it even though she knew i didnt mind. She’s already been out with 2 other people since then but hasnt lasted over a week with them. I’ve still got feelings for her and i love her and want her back but i’m not sure how to do this. I’ve talked to friends about it and they’ve said to just get over her and move on but i haven’t been able to, havent loved anyone before as much as i love her. My friends have spoken to her and told her how i feel and she said that she still loves me, but doesnt know whether she want to get back with me and get me mixed in with her problems. I really would do anything to get her back..any advice please?..<3xxxxx

  37. Keisha 18 November 2011 at 4:37 am Permalink

    My ex brokeup with me two months ago suggest we be friends though not giving me the reason for the breakup,we still make love n go for trips together but dnt understand why he opt for the breakup his actions and friends tell me that his still loves me but afraid to admit….he says we moveon but can still be friends and make love whenever..help

  38. tamia 20 November 2011 at 7:30 pm Permalink

    Should I tell my ex I am still in love with him ? We broke up 3 months ago. We broke up because we both did not want a long distance relationship and we go to different schools. Should I tell him how I feel about him. Its killing me , I need to express to him my feelings!!

  39. Nicola 21 November 2011 at 8:39 am Permalink

    I’m having some trouble with my ex boyfriend, we have been on and of for nearly 2 years now and he left me heartbroken, really badly like, when we were together it was amazing, i was the only person he looked at and we would sit and chat for hours about nothing, and it was great, it was amazing in fact but then things started to change and he wouldn’t text me or talk to me and would basically ignore me for weeks, and i kept ending it because naturally i got sick of it and it upset me so much, and he would always come back asking me to go out with him, so i did because i was in love with him and he was in love with me too but then i got really sick of it and would fight with him over his behavior towards me and we wouldn’t talk for weeks on end and then we would start talking again and it would be then same.
    One day a few months back he told me that he a Commitaphobe, and said that that’s why he was always so hot and cold,and that the only reason he pulled away is because he didnt want to hurt me. He told me that he loved me so much and that he’s never felt like this about anyone and that he wants to be with me but he cant because of his phobia, so we still talked and what not but it was kinda like friends with benefits and i hated it, and would fight with him over it, he would get mad if i went out or if i told him about me and another fella when he asked me to tell him about it.
    Slowly i started to fall out of love with him, at least i think? i stopped myself from thinking about him and just busied myself with work and study, and even tried to be with other fellas, but every time he talks to me i feel so happy. recently we haven’t been talking much but he always texts me randomly (which he never does) and I’ve been playing it cold and not really responding much, but he rang me the other night and woke me up and the first thing he said was ‘I miss you so much Nikkie’ and we chatted and what not a while and he kept saying things like ‘my Nikkie, my baby-girl’ and all the stuff he used to call me when things were good and really quietly he asked me out again and then hung up on me. so i rang him back anyway and i asked him if he was serious about it, and he said he was and that he thinks he’s ready, so i said that this time he cant ignore me and it’s about me this time, because every other times it was all about him.
    I just.. i don’t know, i know that he still loves me and he has feelings for me and that im extremely important to him. but i don’t want to be hurt again. Do you think that people can change when they realize the person they love the most is leaving them behind? I don’t know if im doing the right thing by going back to him, i need someone to help me because it’s so confusing and i don’t know what to do, On one hand i know that i still have feelings for him otherwise I’d be able to say ‘yeah im over him’ but i cant do that, I used to think that ‘if you think they are worth it, fight for it’ and ‘if it’s meant to be, it will happen’ were true but i honestly don’t know
    Can someone please give me some advice?
    Nikkie :)

    • mr. buttons 12 January 2012 at 2:36 pm Permalink

      hey nikkie,

      do what you feel in your heart. make sure your head and heart match feeling. if things go wrong again – be honest with him.

      communication is key to every issue when it comes to matters of the heart.

      You will be fine!! stand tall and proud!!!

  40. Heidi 22 November 2011 at 11:58 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend & I just recently broke up with me. The whole break up was a random freak thing that I feel had to do strongly with the fact he had his friend hovering over him during the time a made a tiny mistake. I feel he broke up with me to show up to his friend, cause he broke up before summer for the same exact reasons. There was absolutely no problems prior to the day he was with his friend & broke up with me. We have so much fun together, the day before the break up we went bowling & had an amazing time then I gave him a much deserved massage (since he wrestles near everyday) & he enjoyed our night together. It’s day three of the break up & we go to school together, so he completely avoids me. By that I mean he goes completely out of his way to avoid me, even if it inconveniences him. I’ve been good about not texting him, though I sent one long one explaining I did not blame him for my near accident I had since he told my friend that I blamed him. I’m also not chasing after him. I absolutely love him & we are amazing together & I know he loves me, but I think he is so stressed he just cannot handle being with me right at this moment.

    I’m not sure what to do. I’m willing to give him space, but knowing he goes out of his way to avoid me even when I’m not hovering over him really eats at me. I understand I should wait, but how long & how should I go about letting him know I still love & care about him without bothering him?

    Help?

  41. n/a 7 December 2011 at 11:37 am Permalink

    I know this is going to sound cheesy and people might say “Oh you’re just young. This will pass..” but right now all I need is help and assurance. Ok so my boyfriend and I (both age 16) have been together for almost 11 months.. We broke up around 1 week ago and that was the “final” break up. 2 weeks before that we broke up.. THAT was the first but i wouldn’t actually call it a “breakup” since we got back together around an hour later because we were just both mad at each other and making irrational decisions… Ok back to the “final” break up, it was caused by constant fighting. The fights didn’t really start until like our 8th month. They were just one of those stupid silly little fights caused by him saying something immature, I take it the wrong way, i start getting upset, he gets worked up, I get mad because he got pissed off. Those fights only lasted for an hour, but we fought too much I guess… Around probably 5-8 times a month within 2 months.. Well when we broke up it was both hard for us.. From what I saw, he seemed determined to stick by his decision.. Now, we’re in the friend zone. We seem happier now since we already got through the whole post-breakup phase. Not really awkward as it was (or at least it doesn’t seem like it).. Well as usual, I have that feeling of wanting to keep talking to him but I can’t… Sometimes he talks to me but we both try to keep the conversations casual. I’m getting mixed signals… I wanna get back together but I don’t know what he wants. I need to know.. It’s starting to hurt more and more each day :(
    I need to know how to what he really wants without pushing him away.. That’s the LAST thing I need right now.

  42. Teri 10 December 2011 at 7:09 pm Permalink

    We didn’t have an actual “breakup” but the contact is sooooo low compared to what it was, and I know it’s because I pushed for more. I’ve been single a long time because I hadn’t met anyone I wanted to spend time with until I met him. It was just so comfortable to be around him and we always had fun. It felt so good, I wanted more and he wasn’t ready for anything serious yet. I didn’t realize I was pushing though. Once he backed off significantly, I realized my error and haven’t initiated contact for weeks. I bought him a Christmas present and made quilts for his boys before things deteriorated. I haven’t been initiating any contact, but he usually does not go more than two days without contacting me. Conversations are short (always via text, but that was how it usually was anyway). As long as I don’t initiate contact for the next few weeks, is it okay if I give him the presents?

    • Jason 13 December 2011 at 6:54 am Permalink

      I am in the same predicament. But i have decided to give my ex the present i got. Why you might add to help you with your decission. because of what the word gift means “the tranfer of something without the expectation of something in return”. the reason of giving the gift is to bring them joy or happiness and if you care for them regardless of how they feel about you then you would give them the gift.
      We are defined by our actions and it your intentions are good aswel are your actions and you other half still does not like you or want to be with you then that is there loss. But you retain the person you are.

  43. snicky 11 December 2011 at 5:40 pm Permalink

    I need help. My ex and I broke up in September then went through a period of intimacy and then ended up together again mid October. He was seeing a girl during this time. We tried for a few weeks but it was obviously too early since he had very hurt feeling and so did I. He trickled off and only after me pushing him about a month ago did he say fine I only love you as a friend. He has told my friends that he doesn’t know what he wants and that the break up was difficult and he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore making me confused etc. We had several fights after that and he said things like “its over, I won’t go back on my decision and i never have before, i will forgive but i won’t let you in again, i can’t believe it will be different etc”. All the while we text 30+ times a day and talk every couple on the phone. He wont be in person with me and I haven’t seen him now for a month. He told me he started seeing someone and I learnt recently that it was the same girl from in Sept. When I talked to him he said it was just a few weeks old but after an argument about why he just wouldn’t say it was her when he told me he was dating he got mad and then deleted me off facebook. Sigh.
    Why still connect, ask me about my life, joke around, be so angry about the split (due to me not keeping my ex husband in line) keep me informed about what he is doing etc?
    What do I do next?

  44. Amanda 15 December 2011 at 9:17 am Permalink

    My ex and I broke up because I cheated. I regret every thing about it after 17 yrs in my relationship I constantly cried about him spending time with me, going places with me, and just spending time together. I found someone that caught my attention and cheated. I realized I loved my boyfriend and he moved out five months ago. However, I have begged him to come home but he says he is thinking about it and will come on his own terms. He tells me he still loves me to death but he has met another woman and I have put him in a tough situation. I am not sure should I just let go being I messed up or fight for him. I know the world will hate me but I know he loves me. He still calls my kids and if I call he will talk to me and tells me if I need anything to call and he will do it. He just don’t want to hurt this womans feelings who he just met. I don’t know should I really fight for him and run him off because he says he needs to think or just let him go.

  45. Leah 19 December 2011 at 2:48 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend recently broke up with me a couple weeks ago.. He left for town to go visit family. Initially I broke down and was in denial, saying anything to try and get him back. While he was gone I tried the no contact thing.. He called me the day before he was coming home and was telling me he missed me. I went over to his place when he got back, he seemed like he felt bad and we ended up having sex. He says he doesnt know if he wants to be with me but later that week kept telling me he misses me..
    He says he wants to be single but still have sex with me. I am unsure as to whether he still loves me..deep down maybe or just want to be a friends with benefits thing till someone else comes along. I still care so much for him and would do anthing to be back with him.

  46. ingy 21 December 2011 at 1:45 pm Permalink

    Hello everyone,
    I need some serious advice. I was with my babies dad for almost 3 years. We both felt like breaking up was the best choice that is until I realized it wasetn really what I wanted. He claims he dosent love me anymore but still cares about me. He said he likes me a lot. But just dosent want to be with me. He wants time to think about things and to figure out what he wants. Now there is this girl whom he also likes they hang out and stuff but its more like a friendly thing he claims he dosent want to be with her either at this moment and just wants to be single. Now there’s little things he does to make me believe he still cares. He says he still wants to be my friend and that he likes hanging out with me. And dosent want me to stop being his friends. I spoke to him about limiting contact because I want to move on. Idont want to suffer knowing that he’s around her. I don’t know I’m letting time go and see what happens I

  47. sally 23 December 2011 at 8:58 pm Permalink

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  48. Confused. 23 December 2011 at 11:26 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and I spent a great deal of that time trying to deny the fact that I still liked him. I have since admitted to myself that I do, but still can’t say his name.
    Anyway. I attended a party the other day, and because he is in my group of friends, he was there.
    I’m not sure if he was drunk or not, but I think he was. I sat down next to him, intending on just having a nice chat with everyone and he took it upon himself to tickle me, attack me with things and when we were lying on the sofa watching TV, he tangled his feet with mine.
    I don’t know what to think about this behaviour.
    Before that, I’ve seen him most days, and while he hasn’t ignored me, nor has he gone out of his way to talk to me.
    The most we’ve spoken since we broke up was at this party.
    Was this flirtatious behaviour?
    There were plenty of other women at the party, and my friend and I were actually under the impression he fancied her, but he didn’t pay her half as much attention as he did me.
    I’d love some opinions on this. Please and thank you. I just don’t know what to think.

  49. Cory 28 December 2011 at 4:07 am Permalink

    My ex and i broke up in a bad way 3 years ago, all the sudden about a year ago she left notes on my car window saying call me please. I didnt think anything of it cause she was drunk (like she always is) so i just left it alone. Somehow she got my number and started texting me. We talked almost everyday since then, then about a month or so ago she texted me and said i cant talk to you anymore, like what the beeep does that mean.. She has done this a couple times before, she said she still cares and that its not that she doesnt want me which does not make any sense. We were supposed to get married and have a family, although she is ten years younger than me, she is the love of my life and i cant seem to get over her. What do i do now, she is all ive thought about for sooo long, how do io just stop thinking about her and get on with my life. Someone please help.

  50. Samuel 28 December 2011 at 6:11 am Permalink

    me and my girl broke up for about 2 months now , we’ve been together for 4 years. she found someone new. probably because we had a long distance relationship. she never admitted about her new one, i just caught it through her facebook. the worst part, she blames everything on me. but 3 days ago, she keeps on calling my phone but i never attempted to answer it, whole day until dawn my phone keeps on ringing. she also texted me that she miss me and she dreamt about me..

    i’m just wondering what’s that supposed to mean? she has already a new one, why she is still keeps on bothering me?
    if ur asking if i still love her, i don’t know.. please help

  51. Frustrated 29 December 2011 at 3:08 am Permalink

    My wife after 17 years put a restraining order on me for 3 years! I never struck or threatened her,she told the judge she did not fear me. We are separated and I am disabled. She continues to buy me food and clothes and helps with my bills and takes me to doctor visits, calls me. I don’t get it..I cannot have contact with her for three years, but she can see me whenever it pleases her? I know she might still love me and did not think about the long term consequences …the 3 years, the weekly one year domestic violence class , the fines. Can I complain to the court about her behavior?
    I don’t want her to be taken into custody and put through the physical and emotional pain of incarceration. I would not wish that on any female. I agree with the zero tolerance policy in California concerning domestic abuse, but I did not nor have I ever struck any woman, let alone a 95lb girl, but I had an outburst on a bad night of being unemployed,disabled in an otherwise happy 17 y/o marriage.

  52. roxy 6 January 2012 at 6:01 am Permalink

    hey..here the story..
    i am sorry if this is boring u dont have to read if you dont want too ..

    i was with this guy for about a year we both know each other for years before we started going out but we both know each other was crazy about each other…when we started going out it was going so perfect untill i wasnt aloud to be with this guy because my parents didnt think he was good enough for me but i was so in love with him.. when he use to call to my house my family told me not come out of my room and i would always have a huge fight with my parents…but i didnt care so i still wanted to talk to him while he was in my house..one of my family members said to him that you wont go with my sister and that she will find someone else that is right for her then he( my ex) said to her if she does she will have to marry him in a coffin then we use to ring each other ,, txt each other every day he use to talk about how nice if us had kids together… then one day he says to me that he loves me then a few weeks pass he says I DONT LOVE YOU BUT I ONLY CARE FOR YOU !!! then he said my family was getting involed too much which was true but then he start asking me for sex abit too much and then he stoped talking with me because i wouldnt have sex with him so i started to think maybe thats all he wanted from me and he keep saying so i wouldnt have sex with him then he also thought that i was making him sensitive but i did really love him with all my heart and i do miss him and i find it so hard to go on with out him beside me… he moved to another county because of his family moving all there and now i dont have contact with him cause i lost my phone and i always got the feeling that he doesnt wanna talk with me because he blames me for my family getting involed…he was such a good guy then when we broke up like over over i find out that his sisters friend is living with them so i thought maybe you know he was with her cause someone said to me that they were together.. so i moved on and then in aug he came to my house and we had small talk and i told him that i want to be with someone else then he said i dont want you to be with anyone else and we still wasnt aloud to be together so he passed his number to me in a sly … and then we broke up again but he always gives me the look that he is intersing still so i all confused

  53. Alexandria 7 January 2012 at 9:57 am Permalink

    My ex of a year still talks to me and flirts. He still calls me late at night. We still talk like we are dating but then some times he goes and ignores me. He sometimes tries to flirt with my best friends and he calls them and texts them. My friends tell me that he asks about me most of the time or checks up on me. And if i talk to a guy or start dating a guy, he gets distant and starts ignoring me. What does all of this mean because I still love him?:/ And I do still want him back.

  54. Elena 8 January 2012 at 10:00 pm Permalink

    If anyone takes the time to read this and respond on what they think, I would be most grateful. I am very confused with my ex. We were together for three and a half years and thanks to my jealousy and insecurity, I lost him.
    He was intimate with another girl shortly after for a small period of time and then kind of floated off from her and is now kind of a loner. We talk once in a while, but I try not to initiate conversations with him since I figure he would need his space. In the meantime I’ve been working on my insecurities. I’m making progress but it’s not something that can be changed overnight.
    When the topic of ‘us’ does come up, he keeps saying he loves me and that he’s just not ready for a relationship with anyone. And that he needs to work on himself first. He says he’s not going anywhere but he wants me to move on if I can find another man that is worthy of me and can give me what he could not.

    Now, my question is, does he mean this? Or is he just trying to end it without hurting me? Why would he tell me he still loves me and wants to be with me at some point if it ends up he DOES want to move on? I absolutely cannot get a reading on this man and would like some insight from anyone taking the time to read this :)
    So, is he really working things out amongst himself so we can be back together, or is it all a lost cause?

  55. Roan 9 January 2012 at 5:56 pm Permalink

    My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 5 months and then she realized she cant be with me because our family are frm a very conventional family and they dont allow same sex relationship. Eventhough she broke up with we still keep contact and meet up and all. I am however feeling the pain because soon enough she might be with some other guy, and I know the best thing to do is to stop talking to her. THe thing i dont understand is why is she still contacting me eventhough she knows it breaks my heart to know that we can never be together. How do i stop talking to her. Besides that we have common friends, so its a bit difficult to not meet her during parties or functions.

  56. Anonymous 11 January 2012 at 11:24 am Permalink

    Well i was w/ my ex for 3 years then 2 months ago he met someone else and then a month from today i found out he was seeing her sometimes out of work and then i broke up w/ him ignoring him ,then a week later he shows up at my house while im not their and waits for me to come home and says hes sorry and loves me and wants to marry me and he doesnt want her then 2 weeks later i decide that i do want him back and he asked me out again on new years saying its a new year and i want to put this in the past, but then a week after new years apparentely she was still sending him text that he didnt respond to then after the end of the week he says he misses her and deep down he loves me but he really likes her and he knows it wrong but that he needs to know wether it can lead up to something else. So he ended up choosing her over me and now he hasnt contacted me in 5 days but their already in a relationship. So idk wether to move on or think he’ll come back and what do i do if he does but were obviously not ready to jump back in again into a relationship because we already did that?

  57. danny 11 January 2012 at 6:35 pm Permalink

    Hi am danny, I dated my ex about 2 years and after we broke up we weren’t keeping in touch very often and all..Now I realized that am still unconditionally in love with her and so one day I talked to her and tried to persuade her and make her see reasons we should get back but she said she still likes me but doesn’t think we can work out again and she doesn’t think a second chance is worth it..She is presently in a relationship but it doesn’t look serious..I could have sworn she still cared and wants me but now am even more confused..I still call her but I don’t talk about getting back..I really want her back, what should I do???

  58. Rosa 14 January 2012 at 1:35 pm Permalink

    my ex boyfriend and i were together for almost 2 years. Im 19 and its been nearly a year since we have broken up. We have kept in contact this whole time. During the year he started seeing someone else and then reuined it when he kept sleeping with me whilst they were seeing each other. He is currently not seeing anyone and everyday still tells me how much he loves me, he’ll never find anyone like me etc. i still see him everyday and sleep at his around 2 or 3 times a week. He says he doesn’t want a relationship because he wants to have fun and that if we are he’ll just hurt me or cheat on me and always says we work better not in a relationship. The other night he drunkenly asked me out and yet again started telling me how much he loves me and wants to be with me. Then in the morning was fine with it, and in the afternoon changes his mind and decides he doesn’t want to go out anymore cause he’ll end up hurting me again.

    im really close with both him and his family so i really don’t know what to do! We have so many common friends so it makes it even harder to forget about him if i tried. i absolutely love and adore him but at the same time do you think he is just going to keep stringing me along and he’ll never want me again?

    Help please! im so confused on what to do

  59. confused 17 January 2012 at 6:58 am Permalink

    Hi,

    Me and my ex broke up 4 years ago. We are still in touch and chat like friends. But i still miss him a lot. He jokes saying that he wud propose again, but i warn him not to joke like that before. He doesnt show any sign of missing me, but he patiently listens to me and helps me in sumthings. Is he still cold towards all this? Is 4 years too long to get him back? Please help. I am confused. Can I hint him without being obvious. I am scared if i tell him i’ll lose his friendship too.

  60. Rachel 17 January 2012 at 7:03 am Permalink

    Hey, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 months. We were friends for a few months before that. The reason we broke up was because he was going through a really rough patch in his life, he needed time and space but I failed to understand that and we constantly kept fighting every single time. Also, during this time, he figured we wouldn’t have a future together, our marriage is impossible because we’re of different religions. Anyway, his reason was that he wants to focus on his career and become something and he isn’t ready to be committed. And even if we do decide to just date, it’ll only hurt us after sometime. As its impossible for us to be married. So he doesn’t want to hurt me and he’s ending it now itself. Well, 2 months after our break up I randomly called him and we spoke nicely. Then he invited me to hang out with him and his friends, like how we used to earlier. He’d text and talk to me on phone…and one day he invited me home for lunch. I went and we ended up making out. Everytime I asked him if he has feelings for me, he’d always say he does. If he didn’t have feelings for me, he wouldn’t be with me and would be seeing some other girl. That’s what he says. And I got very insecure after us making out because I can’t see him with another girl. Though he promised me that he wouldn’t ever be with any other girl and he doesn’t want a physical relation with me either, he just wants me as a friend but its my decision. He’d also talk about how much he missed me during the time after our break up. Taking up all these ‘clues’ I asked him that we ‘ll make things work and he just said that he can’t. Same reasons again and he has a million things on his mind, he cannot give me his commitment, but he doesn’t want to lose me, he has feelings for me but he isn’t willing to do anything about it. Please explain to me what’s going on in his mind. Its not like he has time for me these days also. He does his work and when I text or call him, he always says he’s busy and will get back soon. He does get back but clearly he’s not interested in me anymore. I don’t know what to think of it. We start talking for sometime, fight and then quit talking. Again we start talking in a week or two’s time. Its like a routine now. Is this why he’s taking me easy? Was he just using me or was he genuine about his feelings…? Please reply soon!

  61. Esha 17 January 2012 at 8:09 am Permalink

    I was in a long distance relationship ….it ended in Dec ….I just had enough of his lies and him talking about himself. I deleted him off my fb (he has so many ex gfs on his fb)I sent him a few nasty emails and he blocked me on fb! It was a very hard month especially when u hav Christmas and new years in there. I’ve noticed he stopped talking to me last year close to my birthday (and started talking again after my birthday) maybe because he didn’t have to get me anything. Anyways yesterday I was on my fb ….and saw him with one of his exgfs on her profile pic on fb. I at that time didn’t know what to think …..I was mad but was also trying to make excuses up for him. This morning I woke up with a clear head and sent him an email saying I know it all! …… And for once I don’t have any feelings that he should come back to me! I mean I was trying my best before to have him back, but it seems like his fb is his little black book! I know he still creeps my fb because he has another fb account that he privitzes to the general public. To all those people out there be careful who u fall in love with! Cuz at the end that guy or girl might not be worth crying or worrying over! Live your life to the fullest and go with your gut feeling and not with your heart!

  62. sam 23 January 2012 at 12:03 pm Permalink

    hey i had a brkup couple of mnths ago wid ma gf n da reason waz dat she use 2 hangout alot wid her x bf n den v had a argument on dat n v brokd n da reason she gave waz dat she doesnt luv me she loves her x bf n after brkup v wer frnz 4 a month or 2 n after dat i askd her dat itz better dat v stop talkng n she waz lyk k n al.but wenever i used 2 go in front of her she used 2 stare at me for secs waz she interestd 2 hav a relation again n itz been 6 mnths ,wenever i go in front of her or pas by da way she puts her head down wat does dis mean how can i find out whether shez interested in me again n stil she hang a lot wid her x bf

  63. Emno 24 January 2012 at 12:38 am Permalink

    Hi, just need a bit of advice. my ex boyf left me 3 months ago. we were living together and he has moved NEXT DOOR to his parents house…. when we 1st broke up he didnt want to know me because i was a mess…crying all the time, i was devastated,he is the love of my life. i am very close to his mum and we talk alot. its now 3 months down the line and we spend almost every day together. he says he doesnt want a relationship with me right now but maybe down the line… i have asked him why he cant tell me that we will never be back together and he always replies with…i cant tell u that because i dont know. which doesnt help me.. he always hugs me and kisses me on the cheek, he spends a lot of time in our home watching movies and getting take outs. we go walking,shopping and do other things together. but everytime i ask him to make up his mind about us he gets angry.. and clams up. should i wait around for this man or is he ‘keeping me on side until he finds some1 else?? im so confused. he said he would be hurt if i found some1 else but would get over it, he tells me that other women want him but he has no interest and wants to spend 6 months saving money etc before he ever has another relationship. what should i do??

  64. Addy 27 January 2012 at 11:17 am Permalink

    I recently lost my ex, and he said that he didn’t know if he liked me as more than a friend anymore. I was his first girlfriend and he was really worried to tell his parents about us, even though they really liked me. We argued only once and it wasn’t even that bad. We really cared about each other and things were going great. Eventually he didn’t talk to me as often and I had to ask him if he even wanted the relationship anymore. He said he didn’t know. He just kept saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that I never did anything wrong and that I am an awesome person. So what made him change his mind about me?

    We made eachother happy. If he didn’t suddenly lose interest like he said he did then we would still be together and nothing would be wrong. I never nag, get easily jealous, or make assumptions and I give breathing room to guys I date. I made him happy and I know I could still make him happy if he gave me chance? Can someone tell me why he suddenly stopped loving me?

    I still love him so much and I think about him everyday. He texts me pretty often and invites me to see his paintball games or to just hang out but I’m too hurt to hang out with him as “just friends.” Recently he asked me “Addy, why are you ignoring me?” two days later he said “Addy?” what does this mean. Is it possible that he could get those feelings back for me again? Be honest…

  65. Jennika 2 February 2012 at 2:25 am Permalink

    When I was at the high school, I met a boy. Our parents were friends but I didn’t see him for a long time and since the day we met we clicked so perfect that we speny almost all the time together since then. I was actually at the period of time, where I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, but I found it quite fine to have a good male friend.

    We were going out for half year, I felt connection with him but as I was young and silly I was looking for more attractive boy, even though he was attractive, but not just my type. But he actually fell in love with me. I told, him that being friends is better and he respected it even if it hurted him. So we were best friends, spending a lot of time together for 2 years.

    After those two years, I realised that maybe I want a boyfriend and I was looking everywhere, but even when I found someone who I liked, after we met a couple of time a realised that they were not for me. Once something happened overnight. I realised that what I need is him and I was so sure about loving him and wanting a relationship with him.

    We changed our relationship and it was turning to something serious, full of love and I felt perfect for the first time in my life. It lasted about just 2 months and I started to feel afraid about losing him. I started to think about what will I do if I would lose him, even when things were going so great so far with us.

    But what I thought about came to me. After 3 years of friendship/relationship he found a friend. It was a guy but he started to spend with him more and more time. He told me that after years of being with me and my friends all the time, he is happy to have someone who he has so much in common with and they can do men’s stuff together.

    I started to become jelous, because he was always there when I called him and I was at the first place for him (despite the fact that all those 2 years of friendship I was hanging out with other boys and having fun besides being with him). I started to be very bitchy to him, so rude in front of other people, everything because i couldn’t stand the fact I was losing him and I told him it can’g go on this way. I ended it, but I believed that he will come back to me and leave that friend behind. He was crying, calling me, I loved that attention but after 4 months of him trying to communicate with me and my rejections, he gave up. I came to him, tried to make it good again but something broke in him. He was nice but different to me.

    I didn’t meet him for 2 years after this even despite the fact that we live in the same town. But I never forgot about him and I still loved him even though I knew that I can’t do anything to bring him back.

    It was June and I studied for 3 years at one university. But suddenly after bachelor title I got after these 3 years, they told me at that school that they take to next studies only the best students. I told my friends and one of them told me that he can try to get me to another school with similar subjects. I didn’t do anything about it and then he told me what and on which school I will be studying. I didn’t believe but I became the classmate of that first boy I had.
    We are still classmates, but he is still distant and even though we meet and talk at school sometimes, nothing changed and he seems he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. He was always a nice kid and I am happy that he is not nasty but at the same time, he sometimes teases me about other girls, even though I thought that we are over this childish behaviour. Maybe he wants to pay me back what I was doing to him all the time…I don’t really know because when I see him almost everyday I miss him even more. Miss him REALLY being in my life.

  66. Dakota 2 February 2012 at 4:41 am Permalink

    I’m 17 years old. Me and my ex broke up almost a month ago. The
    Reason why we broke up was because she was going through a lot and she was really depressed, she said she didn’t wanna bring me down with her, although I was willing to stand by her side no matter what. Well, I let the fact of me and her not being together push her away. I was always talking about it, constantly asking her to give me another chance. I was doing everything the wrong way. Well, about a week ago I texted her saying you can’t really be as busy as you say you are to not talk to me 24/7 because she wasn’t talking to me at all. Well she then texted me
    Back saying. “well, douchebag since you think I’m not busy I think you should know my dad kicked me out lastnight, so I’m packing all my clothes. Don’t text me back. I tried apologizing, Ive tried talking to her. It seems as if she hates me, and it really sucks. Because I just want it to be like it was. Because when we were together, it was perfect. We were always happy, she told me I treated her perfect. I love this girl, someone please help me. What can I do?

  67. Brisa 8 February 2012 at 10:07 am Permalink

    I had a relationship and it was fantastic we both loved eachother. He told me he loved me and I was scared and couldn’t say it back. Things went down hill from there. We have been trying to fix it for several months. A month ago I saw him and he said all his feelings were still there and that he wanted to start spending more time together. Within about three weeks from that I called him up to tell him I loved him. A few days later he said that there was someone else in the picture. He said they started being exclusive. We talked and he said that he loves her son and the more he spends around her and her son the more he cares for them. He also said that they became exclusive shortly after knowing eachother (about a week). But when we talked he had a hard time looking at me, and told me how he felt about me during our relationship, than continued to tell me that he has never talked to someone the way he was talking about me when he was in a relationship. He said the biggest thing between him and I right now is distance. Is there anything I can do to get him back, I love him and would like to spend the rest of my life with him.

  68. rebecc 10 February 2012 at 9:47 am Permalink

    Im confused at what he said when he broke up with me… “i love you,im not bored of you, we should just be friends” and now i see him often looking at me and he makes very little contact. we had been together for a long time, and the breakup came as a surprise to me and even his own friends. we share alot of mutual friends and they all told me he alltogether just stopped saying anything about me. one said he still likes me, but i am so confused about the whole i love you and then nothing. the day before he seemed perfectly fine, we kissed and i went home… i had no idea anyhting was wrong? any advice about this ? i still really miss him, please and thank you </3

  69. James Beach 17 February 2012 at 2:56 am Permalink

    Hi
    Yesterday me and my girlfreind split up… she was unsure of a reason at first but she soon came to a conclusion that she was stressed . Personaly I belive she has lost interest . I have been speaking normally today and she keeps saying its ok etc. But i belive there is a slight chance of getting her back so i am going to try to block comunications with her or limit them. i have been with her about 4 months but i really feel something and i do not want to reduce my chances of getting back with her even more little help? :((((

  70. joe 24 February 2012 at 7:55 am Permalink

    Hi i need advice me and my gf broke up dec 17 after 4 years this is the 2 time we broke up .we were to be marred on oct 13 2012 bec of the brake up i had to move 700 miles away but as soon as i can aford to i moving back. she dos not want to talk to me and she thinks there is no fucher with us but i know some where in sied her she still loves me i tryed the letter and no contact but nothing seams to work. what can i do ? i dont want to give up help pleass thank you joe

  71. wyatt 28 February 2012 at 1:50 pm Permalink

    Hi i was wondering are these good sings my ex boyfriend wants me back? How he broken up w/me was he did not feel the same way as I did to him. H also wanted to be friends..We hang out allot more then what we did when we dated,he always ask me if I am okay w/him hanging out w/ his friends etc,He likes to cuddle alot w/me(we used to have sex now it just every so often),He likes giving me advices rather it about my family friends etc,he likes to help me w/problems and he likes hugging me alot too rather it in front if his family friends or just use two alone. One of his friends says he has affections felling for me and his ex..but his ex and my ex are not on good terms. Also a few days ago we where at his friends house and when she went upstairs he hugged me and i could a sworn he said “Love you” But it was 3am so i asked him to say it again. Could someone mistaken that?
    So yeah if he really does want me back how do i go for it? So far I been hanging out when ever I can and just be my self and just play it by ear.

  72. Sana 29 February 2012 at 1:14 am Permalink

    Hy i need advice i met a guy in the college he still is my classmate he became my best friend he always helped me in every situation he never made me upset then suddenly we came into a relationship he said I’m his princess after his family I’m important for him after few days he said he can’t continue this friendship again and needs a break then one day i called him we had a big fight Now he’s not talking to me he don’t even wants to see my face i begged, pleaded to him but he keeps ignoring me my friend talked to him he said he doesn’t care if i die or anything happened s to me he said he don’t wants to see me now i wanna make him realize that whatever he’s doing to me is not right and i wanna make him cry for me please help me please :(

  73. KAT 4 March 2012 at 1:48 am Permalink

    We met last summer. He came after me very strong and fast. I told him that I thought it was too fast. He moved in my house after @ 8 weeks even though I asked him to keep his place. We didn’t talk about any future plans but he always made it clear that he wanted to marry. My child was not happy that he moved in so fast and things deteriorated because I felt like I had gone against my own ‘code’ and basically had two people vying for my attention.
    He moved out and we continued to see each other for over a month. At times, he acted cool and said he didn’t feel the same and that nothing changed.
    I told him that I thought I deserved something in between the intensity of the beginning and his being withdrawn. He said he would think about it and 4 days later, I heard nothing.
    I got angry and took all his stuff out of my house and gave it back. I called him 4 days later and he emailed me the next day saying he was sad I ended our relationship and that he had sincere intentions and that he thinks we should work on ourselves to be better in a relationship. I asked him to talk and he said he is sorry, but he doesn’t want to.
    How am I supposed to work out something with him if he doesn’t want to talk about our relationship? I don’t want to be told that I have to work on myself to be better in a relationship. I already feel bad enough. Did I go too far?

  74. Rose Davis 4 March 2012 at 7:53 pm Permalink

    I haven’t really gotten to talk with my ex. Though I have noticed he stares at me every day at school. Does that mean he still loves me? I’ve had countless friends tell me that he still likes me just because he stares at me. I don’t wanna get my hopes up because if he doesn’t like me it’ll break my heart. I can’t go through that again! Does anyone have any advice?

  75. Jessica 5 March 2012 at 2:09 am Permalink

    HELP!
    I need serious help with my situation, me and my ex were together for three years, it was a semi long distance relationship, and it had a lot of ups and downs. We had been together for a year and a half and then we broke up due to excessive fighting and stress we got back together after two months. Everything was great we had made new memories, and I believe we grew closer. The occasional fights we got in we’re fairly heated ( we’re both studdorn) but we seemed to work threw them. About a week before we broke up he Found out his dad had cancer and things just started falling apart from there. When I had asked him how he was feeling about us his response was “it’s not a hundred percent, but it will be its just stress” I asked him if it was his feelings towards me and he said no and reassured me we were going to be fine.. So I accepted that it was stress and dealt with it as it came.. Three days after that conversation he broke up with me because he “has no feelings”..(um..k..)

    So we go our own ways.. Valentines day rolled around and I went out for dinner with a long time friend, he even got me gifts ( rose and a stuffed monkey) he was trying to get my mind off of everything. So I came home and had put the picture of my monkey on Facebook with the title “great valentines day with my friends.. I got a new pet” a few days after valentines day I spoke to my ex on the phone and was telling him I’m confused about our break up because I had no closure and that it was hard on me and he threw my Facebook status’ , pictures, everything in my face and said so it can’t be to hard on you. So I end up deleting him off Facebook because I don’t need to be yelled at for living. Then we talked about a week after and he was angry I deleted him “the day after I call you out” my question was how do you know it was the day after?, his response ” I went to check and you were gone”… I asked him why he’s checking up on me if he has “no feelings” and he never replied..
    WHAT IS GOING ON?

  76. Stef 5 March 2012 at 12:38 pm Permalink

    I really really need some help here. Okay here goes, I met my boyfriend 4 years ago when he was 3 yrs divorced. Him and his ex wife have one daughter together. They were together for 7 yrs. The ex wife started dating someone one year after they divorced- she is still with the guy. He waited about 2 months into our realtionship to tell her about me. My boyfriend used to talk about her day in and day out but swore it was over with and i wanted to believe him. He would bend over backwards for her, taking their daughter 5 days out of the week, paying her whatever she asked, got car insurance where she worked just so she could have extra money. The ex wife would call him everyday to almost what it seems like confide in him, she would keep him updated on when she switched jobs, going out of town, family problems and so on.. One time i answered the phone and she was really nasty to me as if hes still HER property or something. I told him if there realtionship wasnt over with then i was gone. He swears he’s over her and they wouldnt talk anymore. Then I found out he would go behind my back and call her all the time, to complain about me, my son (who has a diff father) my family and every piece of our business. Funny thing was he was complain about her all the time two, it was almost as if he was trying to pin us against each other. He would have her thinking im this horrible person, he would confide in her more then me. He acts like their still married like he has to tell her everything. This has been going on for 4 years now and its killing me. Ive always felt second best to her. I know they talk crap together about me bc when the daughter comes over (shes 10) she acts like she cant stand me.. so obviously the ex wife is saying stuff. Well last year i found out that my boyfriend and his ex were buying pain pills together for about 3 months straight and that was like a knife to the heart. he swears hes never cheated on me with her or anyone but I dont know what to believe anymore after finding this out.. Her boyfriend found out and dumped her, kicked her out of his house. I left my boyfriend too for 3 months to clear my head from the thoughts and anger.. I know she will always be in his life but this best friend realtionship or whatever they have going on kills me. Im back with him now as of 4 months ago and he has cut her out completly, never calls her doesnt hide his phone. But knowing that he’s cheated mentally with her i dont know how to love him as much anymore.. Or how long I can stay. This has destoyed me. I shouldve been number one the one he confides in and trusts my judgments but its never been that way until i left him recently.. What do I do, do i stay do i trust the fact he’ll keep pushing her far away???? Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  77. ned 7 March 2012 at 6:36 am Permalink

    cut the sh*t and move the fu*k on!, there’s someone out there more better, good looking and more caring then your ex ever was, you need my advice?, dont contact, get closure, and move on…my ex, she was a cheater….she became an incest person, no self respect being with guys whom she just met, broke my heart 6 to 7 months ago, once a cheater is always a cheater. My ex saw me at the bar last time she was there, she started crying and her family members told me to go talk to her, I said I dont want to talk to her, or look at her, so I just had fun wit ma friends and partied the fu*k on, to this day she still regrets that she lost me, she still wants me back but I say no…..fu*k all the drama, she’s the reason I had dark days in my life, sad, lonely….well fu*k it all, move on, btw she had a bf wit her when she was crying, starting giving me the stink eye lol….it’s all gone peeps, move on and let go

    • Rose Davis 8 March 2012 at 7:31 am Permalink

      Thanks for the advice Ned. I’m thinking about getting another guy & seeing if things work out. My birthday is next week & I think having a guy who appreciate me & doesn’t just want me for my good looks & body. What really is bad is that my little sister thinks the world of him & is to young to understand that he hurt me. She’ll learn I guess…… Its terrible to love someone who hurt you but sadly I do. Oh wel……

      • ned 12 March 2012 at 2:32 pm Permalink

        no problem, keep searching for your mr. right….if the relationship your in is not going well, dont wait for it to collapse cause in the future you already know it will happen, my advice is “hurt now or hurt later”, I was in a 3 year relationship with my ex, broke my heart and started seeing this other guy just to see me crumble, but crumbled I did not…she just tortured herself instead, I told her I loved her so much, best damn thing that ever happened to me….but when she cheated I was devastated at first, gave her another chance so we lasted another year, it was not going well, so I got intrested in other hot chicks and felt better and better, have sex with someone to get rid of the person stuck in your head, dont crumble…..stay strong :)

  78. Elle 8 March 2012 at 8:22 pm Permalink

    Hi there

    my situation is similar to Vila, broke up with ex about 5 months ago from a 2 year relationship. He tells me I was his best friend, the best thing that has happened to him so far, and that I am on his mind 24/7. I told him I missed the old us and he said “same”. But, he doens’t want to be in a relationship unsure if it is right now or ever again, he said he isn’t sure if he loved me or not and isn’t ready to date again to find out. He said it felt right to break up and I can’t understand how he can be feeling all of this yet not want to work on getting back together? Is he just leading me on or is he just really confused? Any advice would be great!! Thanks :)

  79. Tom 11 March 2012 at 2:23 am Permalink

    Hi, Im Tom. I have been seeing my girlfriend for just over 6 months now.Im 29 and she is 33 with two kids that she has for half of the week. And she got divorced 2 years ago after a bad 10 year marriage. I have a well paid job working nights, she has a pretty high pressure, high stress job and owns her own house. i am still in a rented flat.

    When we first got together we were spending a few nights a week and the odd day together, building upto me spending nearly all my time at hers at her request. Things were going absolutely great, we were talking about our future and we were so in love until about a month ago, when we had our first argument. it was nothing major, we just put it down to me being tired and from her been stressed from her work commitments and sorting things out for her upcoming holiday to america with her 2 kids and parents. So we put that behind us and moved on and had a great few days before her holiday. she went away for two weeks and i was house sitting for her, we spoke on skype nearly every day, telling each other we missed and loved each other regularly.

    her holiday didnt go well due to a few problems with her parents but when she got back things were fine between us for the first three days, then we had another argument, she said again she was just tired and stressed, but i felt it was something else and wanted to get to the bottom of it and put it right so i questioned her. she said i was getting angry at little things and snapping at her. (I want to make it clear i have not at any point been violent towards her and she knows i never would be). Anyway we put that aside and carried on, I felt bad and bought her a big bunch of flowers for our 6 month anniversary.

    things seemed fine but she was a bit distant with me and not as loving as normal. this went on for a few days until sunday when i became a bit fed up with her being like she was with me and questioned her about it. she said she didnt like how i was talking to her and again that it was just the tiredness and stress and that she needed some space. so we agreed to go back to spending a bit less time together for a while. this went great for the first two days however she was barely replying to my texts and when she did they were not like they normally were.

    so it came to wednesday just gone and we were due to spend the night toghether as we always have as she didnt have her kids and i had the night off. I suprised her and cooked a really romantic meal with all the candles etc… as we had missed valentines with her being on holiday. I also bought her some jewelry and booked us a romantic stay in a posh hotel! This seemed to do the trick, she seemed made up and seemed more her self. until we went upto bed. She got into bed with me and thanked me for a lovely night and just seemed to be nodding off.

    I tried to give her a cuddle and she shrugged me off saying she was tired, so that started a bit of a argument as i was a bit annoyed at not even getting a cuddle after all the effort i had put in. all the usual stuff came out, tiredness, stress and that this same problem keeps coming up that i thought there was something else. I said that i was worried about loosing her if there was something else because i had been hurt before in a previous relationship. she said i was insecure and then she just wanted to go to sleep and didnt want to talk about it. I asked her if she still loved me and she said yes but she wasnt happy at the moment with how things have been. again i wanted to get to the bottom of it and stupidly ranted on and said do you not want to be with me anymore? she said she dosnt know what she wants. that shocked me and we left it at that and went to sleep.

    my problem is that when we argue, my emotions take over, my words come out all wrong and i say things i dont mean! the next morning we both got up, i could tell she was mad and would not speak to me and she rushed out to work. i felt bad and sent her a long text appologising and pouring out my heart to her and sent some flowers and a teddy to her workplace with a card saying im sorry! i waited at her house all day and wrote her a long letter to appologise and tell her how i felt. to give to her when she got home as we normally spend thurs night together aswell,

    i got no reply to the text all day until she text me at 6pm asking if i was at her house still and saying there was no point me waiting for her as she was going to her friends for a while after work. i didnt reply hoping she would come back and hear me out. she didnt and text me again asking if i was still there. i said yes, and that i just wanted her to hear me out. a few more texts were exchanged she asked me to leave her house and post my key back through the letterbox so she could come home and basically she said she didnt want to talk, she couldnt do this anymore and that we were over! I was gutted but agreed to leave.

    I said i had gone and she just said thank you. so i got home last night about 9pm last night and calmed down with a few beers and talked about it to a mate. He advised me to send her a nice calm text saying, ‘please read the letter i have written you and please accept my appologies for how i have been, i love you so much so im going to give you as much time and space as you need. if you feel ready to speak to me again ill be here and really happy to hear from you xx’ and to keep calm, give her some time and space and not text her again unless she texts me. So i sent her the text and i have not heard anything from her in the 19hours since. I love her so much and I know she loves or loved me up until just over a week ago when all this went wrong. Her feelings cant have changed that quick can they? I really think we have something special and worth fighting for, and im in bits about loosing her. I want her back so much, ill do anything!

    Have i already caused too much damage? Am i doing the right thing giving her space and time? Any help or advice would be much appreciated. ps – sorry its so long but i thought the more detail the better and sorry for the poor spelling and grammar.

  80. emma 14 March 2012 at 10:10 am Permalink

    Me and my ex split up a year and 6 months ago. We split up because he was very worried that I would end up leaving him and he said it was too much, and I do believe him!! We still spent every day together after the break up, I found this really hard as I still loved him. But I wouldn’t sleep with him as we weren’t together. After this was going on for 7 months I decided I needed to get away, and I no he didn’t want me to go, but I needed to do it for me. So I went away for 5 months. When I got back I felt strong and a lot better. I saw him every now and then, but I wouldn’t spend time with him as I didn’t want to get back into that routine. 5 months after I was home I found ouit he started seeing somebody even tho he told me he still loved me. And they did end up getting together. I had 2 tell him how I felt etc as I felt betrayed as the reason he split up with me because he was scared of getting hurt. He split up with her and said I’m more important 2 him and he cares about me 2 much to hurt me. We have been spending a lot of time together but have been rowing a lot and I no I cause most the rows. I really do love him, and I want to be with him but I’m not sure how he feels. He always ring me and comes round to mine every day and stays most nights. I don’t no what 2 do. Do I try get him back? Or is it 2 late? Not sure if he still loves me.C

  81. Kristine 14 March 2012 at 1:58 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago..and now I am totally depressed and down and desperate and hopeless..i really want him back..i tried begging and pleading (which was totally inappropriate and embarassing) but he seemed to be too hard. He’s the type of guy who never gets back with his exes and i’m freaking out coz there might not really be a chance that we’d get back together. We still text each other and he would be showing concern for me. He said he doesn’t want to commit anymore to anyone because he doesn’t want to see the same failures in the relationship. He’s somewhat anticipating things like, what if he gets back with me and we’d end up breaking up again for a much more worse reason. I really really want him back..I tried not to text him for 2days now and it’s driving me nuts.Am i pushing things to soon? help!!

  82. ~!ck 16 March 2012 at 5:29 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend which I call my other half recently parted from me on March 2nd. We were in a relationship together because we were our first loves. I have read similar stories about first loves and how our emotions are new and we impulsively make mistakes to later figure out that I had done the same thing. I let my expectations get the better of me and I had conjured a fantasy ending that was unrealistic at the moment. I ended up hurting myself in the end because I thought I was going to live happily ever after with this “one” person. He told me that he cares about me and is concerned but only in a friendly matter. Which is the reason why he decided to part ways. We had the upmost respect for each other and never once got heated with insults or belittling. He would be hot and cold at times and say he didn’t know if there was anyone better fit for him and sayings like that. I soon became too needy and very clingy, I always wanted to talk to him and be with him with the ending result being me smothering him away. I was very insecure about myself and thought that one day he would leave me for someone with more appeasing characteristics, I would want reassurance that I was beautiful and I had nothing to worry about but… I didn’t receive any. I felt ignored and very upset, but later realized that I had made assumptions that were out of this world. I was very impatient and realized I blew my chance. I have gone to numerous websites to justify how to get him back but in reality I won’t know? I agree that I was inexperienced and that my definition of love could change within me aging. I have to figure out how to love myself first before anyone can love me. So I decided I would make closure and ask my ex other half that in five years we can re-unite and see what happens there. He was very iffy about the suggestion because he didn’t want to give me false hopes of getting another chance, but I know now not to expect anything this time around. I know its a bit (cliche) but I feel like him and I were meant for each other and we just met at the wrong time. I have faith that within time and us being more mature and experienced we will be able to define a definition of “love” so that we can reunite and compare our meaning of the word one last time to see if it once fits each other’s terms. I am willing to let go so we can both improve ourselves and experience to realize what we truly desire. So that if we do end up getting a second chance, we won’t make the same naive mistake. Forgive and forget to start as strangers. And if he or I find someone who is more compatible and better for us, I will be content (not right away but within time) I will be happy because I truly love him and never want to see him frown. I would give up my selfish reasons for his happiness any day. I believe in my heart I the definition of his true love.

    This quote stuck with me while I was scrolling through the comments. I am a prime believer in this but only within time I will know.
    -“People who are meant to be together will always find their way back to each other. They make take detours in life, but they’re never lost.”

  83. DizzyCkoop 21 March 2012 at 5:35 am Permalink

    I recently came back off of a 7 month deployment and ever since i was deployed i was talking to this same girl. she couldnt wait until i got home to spend some time with her. came and got me from the airport and we spent most of the day together and the night. after 2 days of being back i started hearing rumors about her and i went back and told her who and what was said about her. later she txted me saying this isnt what she expected when i came back and she cares about me and she needs sometime to figure out where we are at. i gave her a time line and told her i needed an answer by the end off the week and she said that the answer is no and sorry things ended this way. ever since then we stopped talking and dont even look at eachother anymore. i contacted her a few weeks ago and she caught a attitude with me but i still told her how i feel about her. she currently talking or dating someone at the time. i really dont know if she still cares and wants to be with me or it completely over and we should go our seperate way.

  84. Bethany 22 March 2012 at 4:57 am Permalink

    My boyfriend brokeup with me out of nowhere 3 weeks ago, Said there was no spark and he had been trying to find it for 9 months that we had been together. We were about to move in together at the end of April and all of a sudden he says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea and breaks up with me too. 4 days later, I found out from a coworker he is on and online dating site already looking for a new relationship. I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk to me and the responses I have got are…”I don’t want you, move on, leave me alone…” How much longer should I wait? I’m so confused.

  85. Alysia 24 March 2012 at 7:24 pm Permalink

    My bf just broke up with me couple weeks ago. We were dating for 2 years, he broke up with me couple times but got back together and this is the worse one. He got me a promise ring a year ago. He asked if I would take his last name and i said yes why wouldnt I. We love eachother to death. We both love to work on cars and joke around with eachother. We hung out after that and he took me out to eat and worked on my car, he held my hand, kissed me, hugged me, we cuddled, and then was time for him to leave, I looked at him and he said dont you do it, he dont like when i cry, i started to cry and he hugged me and looked at me and said You know I still love you right, I said yes I know, he said he just wants his alone time and figure him out. Couple wks later he stopped talking to me, I try talking to him and he doesnt reply. He ignores me! He told my friend he was over me. I found out through friends he is talking to another girl which I kinda knew it was that girl because he works on her car and her mom works with him. Is she just a rebound? Im not really sure what to do. Im trying to stay positive and tell myself he’ll be back.

  86. Alysia 24 March 2012 at 7:27 pm Permalink

    Also he started a fight with me one day out of nowhere saying Im insecure and I need a job and I need to change. I didnt understand why he just freaked out on me, but he keeps things built up in him and he dont communicate with me bout things bothering him! Our problem is we dont have trust. We always think were cheating on eachother. But were not! He also is mad cuz his mom n sis dont like me! They wont let me go to there house anymore. I dont know how to get them to like me again. Ive apologized but they ignore me! I know were meant to be, my heart keeps tellin me to fight for our relationship and this is the first time Ive fought for a relationship!

  87. Brett 3 April 2012 at 3:20 pm Permalink

    Okay. Normally I’m shy about posting something like this but I really really need some sound advice. My recent ex and I dated for 6 months. He just had split from his ex wife (of seven years) because she was basically a terrible person and treated him like trash. They were in the process of divorce when we got together. We had an amazing 6 months and he repeatedly told me that I made him so happy and he loves how positive and fun I am etc. Even telling me how I would win over his ex every time if we were compared. But recently he unexpectedly broke up with me because he says that though he is over his ex (which I believe, the woman is nuts), he still needs to figure out who he is because he always felt like he had to be someone else while he was with her. Basically, he is just lost and he is terrified that if he can’t figure his stuff out that he will hurt me worse in the end.

    I need assistance in this area: I understand his need for a break, but since we are both in love with each other still we decided to be friends. Not with benefits as we care too much for each other to ever be able to just have meaningless sex. However, it seems each time, we end up reverting to just that. Making love, sleep overs and long talks about how we wish things were different. My question is: can we really be just friends? I know we both want to be together but the situation seems to be getting worse. I want to be dating him again, but I don’t want to push him or make him feel like he has to do anything he doesn’t want to. I’m probably the most understanding and supportive person in his life. I just can’t imagine being without him in my life. He really is an amazing human being in every way.

    Please, what should I do? Give it time? Establish no contact for a while? I’m not kidding when I say this is the man down the road I want to settle down with. I know he has thought about it too (he’s mentioned a few times how he could see himself having children with me etc), but isn’t ready to think those things right now. Which way is the best to go about not losing him, but making him realize that I would never hurt him like his ex? Thank you so much.

  88. sara 7 April 2012 at 1:40 pm Permalink

    hey, I’m 22 n my bf is 23
    my boyfriend (now my ex) and i were a couple for 2 years.
    we were madly in love with each other, i would give him his space in the relationship to do whatever n he would always come chasing after me asking how my day was who i talked to n told me how much he missed me etc.
    its been a year since we broke up (i left the country) and til this day i love him more than ever! i cry just seeing his name come up on my phone when he texts me. and he knows i get emotional like that. n when i get emotional/angry i do blow up his phone with texts n calls n he gets mad…i was never like this in my relationship but when we broke up i started being like this cuz I’m scared he would find another girl, n i dont want him to forget me.

    thought-out the last year i have asked him many times if he’s seeing someone else because i was suspicious of this one girl because she writes on his Facebook wall like they area couple, he kept on saying no he’s single and i should relax. when i would go to parities sometimes he would want me to text him a pic what i would be wearing, other times he wouldn’t care. when i ask him if he still cares about me he says no he doesnt f*Cking care about me or what i do or who I’m with.
    now a few days ago he dropped the biggest bomb saying that he was dating her/has a thing with her…hes unsure what it is, but they have gone out, made out everything…
    i kept asking him then why lie that u were single for all these months n now that I’m moving back to the state in a few weeks u tell me ur taken? he then flat out replied “i always told u i was taken” which isn’t true.
    some days throughout the last year he would say sweet things to me, wished me happy vday right at 12, used to think it was super cute when i sent him sweet texts, once he told me to stay up all night cuz he wanted to talk to me after he was done partying…but within the last month and half he has done a 180 for the worst…n I’m breaking dwn in pain because of it
    i asked why would u choose her tho over me, when I’m willing to do anything for his happiness to see him smile again, n all he could say was STOP ur annoying, she listens, gives me my space and is chill…when i asked his friends they all said she’s really annoying and always msgs him or calls him. she tried coming into our relationship when we first started (She would email him naked pics, call him hubby etc) but then i told him its either me or her, n he stopped talking to her…

    i still love him no matter what he has done to me, he’s a good guy, never did we have problems..but now i see a change in him so do his friends (his old friends dont talk to him anymore, he hangs out with his new girl and has new friends). i can’t see him getting hurt, i just want him back in my life, i want to be his girl again. its so pathetic how much i love him.
    his new girl’s and his one year is coming up this june :(

    what do i do? i want my ex back,

    please help me :( i dont want to lose hope!

  89. Esha 10 April 2012 at 4:38 pm Permalink

    I know it’s going to be hard but see if u can hang out with a male friend ….take pictures and maybe infront of your ex act like your dating. Do the No Contact ….and give it sometime, he will contact u.
    U are giving him too much importance/attention and he knows that.
    I went through the same

    • sara 17 April 2012 at 7:31 am Permalink

      i started to give him space n just msg him once a day n its been really hard on me…but now its like he’s gone even worse..now he doesnt reply to anything, he’s gotten so much worse!! n when he does reply he just says been busy BYE! i dont like playing games, but if this is what i have to do i’ll do it…i just dont know how to do it…im completely stupid on how to play n get a guy back…plz help me n tell me what to do…cuz i want to make sure i get him back :(

  90. Duckie 12 April 2012 at 9:10 pm Permalink

    Been broken up with my ex for nearly 6 months, he walked out on me and our son, he currently has a new gf which he lives with and he moved in with her like a week of being together, (she lives with her mum) he still tells me he loves and he just doesn’t know what he wants, we have never stopped sleeping with each other, as soon as I start asking questions like are u coming back to us all I get is I don’t know, who knows what will happen in the future, but this isn’t good enough for me I would rather know if he was coming back or not, I am very tempted to tell his new gf that we have been sleeping together but not sure if that’s the right thing to do, he still has a picture of me and our son in his wallet which I gave him after we broke, am I reading to much in to this does he want to be with me or ami just being used

    Please help I love him so much and want him back and would do anything to have our smiley unit back together,

    Any advice please help x

  91. A. 14 April 2012 at 12:47 am Permalink

    Hi everyone. Like all of you I am here to share my love story that has receantly come to an end. The way she and I met was reasoned by a high power other than just a chance. Our fathers were close friend in their 20′s but lost contact with one another. 40 years later they meet again at my cousin’s wedding who married my ex’s cousin. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT. Anyway, she and he family came over to visit one day and that is when she and i met for the first time. We started a relationship, a secret one though because we wanted to see how things would go being that our fathers had been such close friends for so long. When we decided to tell our families, our mothers almost had a heartattack. They simply did not like the idea, but she and i continued our relationship in secrecy, as though it had ended. We were planning to buy a house and start a life together with or without their approval. Two weeks ago she send me a message from work of how much she loved me and that we will have such a wonderful life together, and that she can not wait to grow old with me. I love her with all of my heart. And to be frank with you, I love her so much that if any one told me to give up my life for i would in a second. Through out our 1 1/2 year relationship we had we became not only the best lovers for one another but also the best of friends where we would share our most secrets with one another. Then just thursday of two weeks ago she said to me that we are done. The reason she suddenly gave me was that now her daughter did not approve of our relationship. It truly broke my heart. We had always done things together as a family and now this. I have come to find out that someone has done black magic to her so that she never gets married or stay married, or involved with a guy for too long. As strange as this may sound, it is true, because i have gone to several people that do not know one another and they have all told me the samething. So it is not that i have to deal with the break up but i have to also try and fight this magic that has been placed upon her. There is so much more to this, but i do not want to take the entire page. I thank you for reading.

  92. Ashley 16 April 2012 at 9:09 am Permalink

    So I dated this guy for six months, and we had a very strong connection. After just two weeks of dating he told me he loved me, and i was the first he ever said that to. For example he was in a relationship with a girl a few years before me for two years and never once told her that. Well Once college started in fall we both got busy and had little time for one another, so we ended up breaking up more on his call. But when we were seeing one another we had sex after 3 months and it was a big connection. After breaking up we have seen one another at least eight times, and we have been apart for about 4 or 5 months. I have gotten 2 drunk voicemails from him claiming he still loves me, but he never remembers them the next morning. When we have hung out things are normal and i usually hold back. He is the one who always makes the move to kiss me first or just anything that would lead to an action of us dating. And i’ll admit we have had sex after breaking up, and its hard for both of us considering we are so attracted to one another. There has been 3 times where he has also told me he loves me in person. I honestly don’t know what to think of it, because i feel as if I might just be a booty call. But he claims that is not the case. When we are together he acts as he always did when we were together, as if things never changed. So my question is if he still loves me but doesn’t know it or has commitment issues. This i could understand becasue his mom had died 4 year ago from cancer so i think he might be afraid of losing something he loves again. But I really don’t know what to make of it. I don’t want to push or get my hopes up and gettin hurt again. When we are apart though he tends to be short in his text at times, and just not himself which he has admitted. He flat out told me that he is who he wants to be when i’m with him, but when i’m away he goes crazy and it scares him to the point he cant handle it. What do you think of this? Do I make a move, move one, or just hang in there? This boy has me so confused that I’m speechless at what to do anymore about him.

  93. Licy 16 April 2012 at 3:48 pm Permalink

    My ex-boyfriend and I were the best of friends before we starting dating. But he broke up with me after a month. We r frm different nationalities and once he got back home, he realised it wud be impossible to carry on with the relationship. he said he dint love me as much as i did and he dint want to disappoint his parents and he also added that he dint want me to stay so far away from my parents after we married. so he broke up with me still wishing we were friends. i love him like crazy even now. we have been in touch and we have actually become closer than we were before as a couple. we share a friendly relationship coz i decided to continue with our friendship even when he tried avoiding me coz he thut he ws leading me on. i hd told him i love him bt i also value our frndship. so we r very gud frnds nw evn though i wish we were still together as i m madly in love with him. he talks to all girls when i m arnd bt nt to me bt we text chat a lot. he compliments me when i look good. i do the same too. sometimes i do catch him looking at me during lectures bt then i also keep looking at him way too many times. we share an amazing rapport even nw. as a couple, we dint talk as much. we were sweet n shy. nw he keeps teasing me n when i get angry, he calls me n says sry.he talks to me n flirts with me nw unlike when he used to be my bf. he still does things which make me smile n sometimes he acts indifferent n datz when i feel miserable. each time i decide to move on coz he hurt me, he does something to hold me back. i m so confused as to what to do. my frnds say he probably likes me still bt he nvr likes to talk abt y he cant reconcile. none of his frnds noe either n he wont discuss. all he said ws it ws btr to brk up nw than hurt me 5 yrs later. and he wud nt hear of giving our relationship a second chance. so i m confused as to what i shud do. i love him still bt the pain is unbearable. he seems happy in his life too. so i dunno if i shud keep trying, esp when he noes my feelings too. sometimes he asks me y i text him so much n y i come back to him inspite of he making me cry n pissing me off. he keeps asking me y i like him so much n keeps flirting wid my best friends when i m arnd… plz give ur opinion. i m frm india n he is frm sri lanka. datz y he does nt want to go on with it as he does nt want my parents to be alone in their old age n besides, he says his family expects him to marry a sri lankan girl only. i tried explaining that we cud talk abt it with our parents bt he wud nt listen. i explained that i wud newayz be staying away frm my parents no matter who i married. bt notin cud make him chng his mind… what shud i do? keep trying or just let go?

  94. Marie 17 April 2012 at 10:21 pm Permalink

    My ex husband and I divorced last July, there were a lot of issues in the relationship that we could never work out on our own, we never tried marriage counselling, I didnt want to because he’d told me while I was away from town for a few months he had started talking to some other girl who he never told that he had a wife and children to, and was encouraging her to cheat on her boyfriend to be with him or as he says he was only trying to find out if she liked him he said he wouldn’t have done anything which is hard to believe cos why would u even bother encouraging someone to cheat? Anyways that totally crossed my line and I continued with the divorce, I did want sort things out and get to the bottom of it but I felt I was only being lied to! Well my ex husband is still around, he still buys me things does stuff for me whenever I ask him to and says he’d rather spend his time with me and the kids than with his mates down at the pub or whatever and tells me he wants me back and wants to work on things, but I’m not sure if hes really committed to make it work, the past 5 years of marriage he never really committed at all? Please any make out there could you help interpret s motives? Btw he says though he wants me back he doubts himself and that he could see himself with other women that he talks to and works with? Am I being played or is the guy just confused?

  95. Katy 22 April 2012 at 3:59 am Permalink

    So my ex and I have been hanging out alot more. He is super sweet with me and we are always talking about everything. The other day, he brought up the topic about us and what had happened with our relationship. He told me he broke up with me because he knew he wasn’t treating me right and he also said that I had been such an awesome girlfriend to him. Ater that talk our whole relationship has changed. We hug more often now and spend more time together.

    But there is also this other girl he hangs out with alot. She is my best friend. They tend to hug alot and sometimes hold hands but they have a really weird relationship where he swears infront of her and all and she insults him and then laughs about it. And yesterday he told me he only swore infront of her because that’s how their friendship is. He never swears infront of me and when he does he quickly apologizes.

    So does this mean he likes my best friend or me? I’m confused

  96. Rose Davis 28 April 2012 at 3:46 pm Permalink

    This guy and I started flirting but I’m not sure how I feel about him. I think I might still love my ex but I don’t know does anyone have any advice

  97. B 14 May 2012 at 2:49 am Permalink

    really confusing story as well
    my bf broke up with me because he doesnt think it is going to work out anymore..i tend to have gain a insecurity within our relationship because i have been seeing couples break up..and we have been dating for 15mon
    so tend to over analyze everything he does..and think that he doesnt care anymore..and then when those happen we talk it out..,make up,have sex be happy..then the next day is something different.but tend to go a lil over board lol
    and we broke up b4 but for like 15hrs..a months later same shit… and this time after a we broke up (4 good) i made things worse
    i ignored what people adviced me and did what i wanted because i thought i knew him more..the funny things i asked for a break within that same convo..because i thought that i was going to ruin it more
    but then he conviced me not too..
    and said that it not the best thing to do..
    and then within the convo he decided that he didnt want it anymore…
    that he no longer see me in his future and that he wants to move on
    and hearing that kills me
    i tried call …seeing him to tell him that it can work out between us…
    ‘and he kept saying that it is just going to end up like this again..it gets worse..so during those weeks..i wanted to see if it had anything to do with my looks and etc..so i wanted to see i could still turn him on
    and i found out i can.,.
    he would kiss me like we would o n the reg..
    this was three days after we broke up and we didnt talk..
    then he was like” i think i want this”
    and then i was like”really”
    then he was like i dont sure if its just old feelngs
    and then he decided that it was
    and then this continue for the week…and it was awful..after we kiss he would make it like we never kissed
    and then he came to my dance performance.and drove me back
    and then came to my room and cuddled…
    and it was perfect
    and we kissed
    but i couldnt anymore becuase..
    it killed me that it was like this ..and he told me he want it to work out..but he knows it wont
    so then he left
    then the next day
    called him so confused by this week
    and he was annoyed and then hung
    up.and so my emotion came over me and i went ove r there and started crying infront of all his roommates
    and thats embarrassing..

    and they all wanted me to leave..and i refused to do so cuz i dont even like them..boy it was crazy.. and they think i am crazy
    so after that we talked and we started agruing..and then we didnt talk about that
    i was a mess girl lol
    things clamed down and then i couldnt stand that was the last impression i had of myself with him so i could let it go..
    so invited him over 4 days later
    and he thought i would be a bad idea and thought he would send me mix signals again
    and lied to his roommates about where he was going
    came over cuddled kiss..didnt have sex cuz i couldnt do that to myself
    he wanted to talk ..i didnt..
    he told me he ready to move on
    and then i asked
    what let you know if it would work out with a girl
    he said” if i am myself around them and they are around me..and i am happy…and if there is something about that person i cant find another girl like her”
    and i said which of those am i not..he said “your all of those things.. i just know it wont work out”
    ughh…
    but it just hurts that he would act like to me…at school he wanted me to leave his suite after he said i can come..because he roommate didnt want me there…then he randomly kissed me /..and then at the concert he kiss me and then acted like a bitch to me …i havent talk to him since the school even..and he didnt even say bye to me when i left..or asked when i was leaving….so friday til friday i sent him a email saying that…
    he want to be friends…but in my email..i told him that i accepted why we broke up ..and that i became happy and shit..and i will tell later..but right now we do need space..and maybe later we will be friends and shit…
    he responded and said..
    I’m glad that your really happy. We did learn a lot and I think we will both be better as a result. Also its good that you think we can be friends still, that makes me really happy. What is the exciting news?
    and text me two hours later..telling me i didnt have to email him and ended it with a “lol”
    but i wasnt going to respond to it..

    i want him back!!!!!!!and i dont know how..i think he really doesnt want anymore…i always thought he love me more than i loved him..and he is super attracted to me..and i can turn up easily without doing anything..he was forcing his feelings away because he felt that he had to .so he can move on..help!!!!..

  98. chica 5 June 2012 at 12:43 am Permalink

    Hi,

    I was with my ex-bf for almost one year and it was a very intense relationship. He treated me very well, and we spent about 4-5 nights a week together. We talked about moving in together, but he lost his job and ended up having to take one out of state, which is a 3 hour drive from where I live. About 3 weeks ago said he still loves me and didn’t want to break up but that the long distance wouldn’t be good for either of us, and didn’t think it would work. I was devastated. I would have done anything to make it work. I did not contact him after that conversation, but he has since called and texted about once or twice a week. Yesterday he came over to get his boxes because he was moving. He also helped me move some stuff around in my apartment. Seeing him set me back and made me sad.

    I guess the only thing I can do right now is no contact. Is there any hope for a reconciliation in the future? I’m 33 and this was by far the best relationship I’ve had in my life, until he dropped the bomb on me.

  99. Lindsay 11 June 2012 at 12:55 pm Permalink

    I am in the no contact period with my ex right now. We work together so it is very difficult to not speak at all. When I saw him last I was distant but he initiated friendly conversation with me so I ended up joking around with him a bit. What is the best way to go about this situation? Should I completely ignore him or should I remain friendly?

  100. confused 7 July 2012 at 6:23 am Permalink

    He me and my ex where together for almost two years and three month ago i left him, its wasn’t to to cheating or anything of that sort, i’m almost 9 month pregnant and i just recently seen him for the first time and he dating someone else, i pretend not to notice him but he came up to asking me question about the baby that he already knew the answers to, i blow him off because i felt like he was trying to be funny, but i ended up seeing him the next day, and spoke with him about it. the conversation ended with him asking me was i with another man while his girlfriend was in ear shot, and that he need my number, which i didn’t give to him because i feel like he moved on. I honesty don’t know where his mind at right now because i pushed him away, but that was only because i want him to know that if he didn’t treat me right that he could loss me but i’m starting to believe that it back fired on me and he doesn’t love me anymore and I’ve been so stressed out every since.

  101. Amy 14 October 2012 at 6:27 am Permalink

    Hey me and my ex have been together for a little over 10 months and about 2 months ago he left me, so I started the limited contact phase since then. after the month was up, I decided to contact him and things were going pretty well. He even said he wanted to have lunch with me. But he would always give me constant stares, tell me what’s going on in his personal life and started to have even more and more physical contact with me (like he would touch my shoulder and hold my hand in bot of his whenever he talks to me about something). And at the same time, he would try to make me jealous by “flirting” with my friends whenever I’m around. Is that a sign that he wants me back, or something else?

  102. Brandi 28 October 2012 at 3:30 am Permalink

    My husband & I have been married for 14 yrs, we have 5 kids together. He left in July. I realized I still loved him and wanted to work things out, but little did I know he was talking to someone else. For the past few months, I have expressed how i feel and he tells me to move on. Then, he says he still has feelings for me and he does want me, but he is not ready right now. Please tell me what I should do??? We talk everyday, he calls me often, he sees the kids, but he says he is numb inside. He can’t let his feelings out. He is upset with himself because he rarely helped with the kids when I needed him to. This was a struggle for me because he is there biological father. I am trying to let go, but he is on mind all the time. I have forgiven him for everything, but yet he still isn’t ready to try. Please give me some suggestions.

    • DW 4 December 2012 at 9:41 am Permalink

      Hi Brandi.

      I see its been a little over a month since you posted your comment, so I don’t know what has transpired since then. But I would recommend you click on the upper right hand corner on the “7 Ways to Make Your Ex Fall in Love With You” tab. It may be helpful to you to read it. But I’ll say this: he definitely still wants to be with you. If he’s sharing his regrets with you, that means that he trusts you enough to allow you to see him in a vulnerable state. Acknowledge his regrets without giving your forgiveness away for free. I say that if he broke up with you, then he should work to get you back. You will have to have contact because of the children. But as hard as it is, you will have to allow him to think that you have accepted his decision. Start going out with your girlfriends or other parents of your childrens’ friends. Change your style of dress a little bit. Wear a color that you know he loves when you meet at the PTA meeting. Find a casual friend that you can spend some time with, maybe meet for drinks. Believe me, he will start to notice that you are gravitating away from him. AND HE WILL DEFINITELY COME RUNNING BACK!! I hope this helps you; good luck!

  103. DW 3 December 2012 at 6:56 am Permalink

    So,I was in a same-sex relationship with another woman. I think I may have messed things up though. She was showing all the signs that she may have wanted me back (calling for nothing, texting, emailing, etc.). But in a weak moment,I called her and told her that she should stop doing those things if she doesn’t want to be with me. So what do I do to get her to start doing those things again? Have I ruined my chances for good? Please advise.

    Thanks.

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  107. Tamara 12 June 2013 at 6:16 pm Permalink

    Please help… I met someone and it was love at first site for both of us. Our relationship had issues… He broke up with his wife before i met him. Then his wife found out she got cancer he felt like it was his duty to stand by her… She now as the all clear… He texts me to talk… We do have a great chemistry between us but i can’t go through this pain again…. I told him this then he sent me a beautiful text… You are very special to me and i hope that someone will treat like the princess that you are… I’m so mixed up… I can’t be hurt again but i need to know how much he wants me.

  108. hannah 23 June 2013 at 2:16 pm Permalink

    okay well me n my ex broke up because he thought he couldnt trust me well after one full day of being broken up he realizeds he made a misstake bc he thought i was lieing bout something n i really wasnt n so we got back together n after a couple of days he starts being very distant n start making exuses like he just dosent feel good or his back hurts well the day we made 5 months he wasnt very happy bout it n i asked my frind to ask him wats wrong n he told my friend that he just couldnt trust me n she ended up telling me n i bursted into tears n asked him n he said i jus cant im sorry so after 7th hour n he says its juss not gunna work soooooo ending from there we dont talk for one week n then i end up jus saying hi to him on faebook n we have a conversation pretty much like nothing ever happend n now 3 months later we text and talk on tha phone for hours sometimes n he even comes over n we hang out n mess aroun d with each other but he says he cant say he has those feelings he has anymore but he says he still cares abour me n i asked him does he think that we will ever have another chance n he said idk what tha future has instore anything could happen so do yall think that hes just hideiing his feelings cuz idk wat to do anymore ive told him how i feel n everything n this kid is very different from other guys hes just very hard to read well please help me thanks

  109. Monica Kirkpatrick 29 September 2013 at 9:37 am Permalink

    Hey everyone! Well as you can guess, I have a..strange situation with my ex. So as of last year, I met a boy who became my best guy friend. We stayed up late talking, we joked around during school, and everyone said we’d make a cute couple and that we were gonna end up dating. Well, we did end up dating a while later. We dated for a good while, and then he broke up with me. He said he still liked me, but he just needed to focus on other things for now. A few weeks later, he texts me saying that wanted a second chance, and that he still loved me. I said yes, because I of course was still crazy about him. So we date for a good while again, and we had a healthy relationship for two teenagers (please don’t tell me I’m too young to date). We were really close (hugging, hand holding, plenty of hanging out, frequently talking, etc). Pretty soon school ended, and we both didn’t want to stop seeing each other. We went on a couple of dates, and frequently texted each other. Everything was GREAT. I mean it really was considering the fact we couldn’t see each other everyday in person. But then we hit a roadblock..I was on vacation for a week, and then he was on vacation for a week..We still talked, but then he started to ignore me. And then he broke up with me. We stopped talking completely for the rest of the summer. School started back up, and he started to tell people he hates my guts. Idk why he’s doing this. :-( I really don’t. Please tell me your opinion. I’d appreciate it so much


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