Relationships doesn’t appear as fragile as they actually are. We tend to want to push and push our loved ones.. to test the boundaries, until we go too far and it’s too late once we realized what we have done. Relationship break ups are the result of pushing our partner’s beyond their limit.
Trust and attraction is not always lost in an instant, some people have a stronger tolerance to it than others. But eventually it WILL be lost. A relationship built on lies is doomed to fail…
Have you kept things from your partner?
Withholding information is just another form of lying – the next time you have a thought in your head… something like “Oh I just won’t say this in case I get in trouble.” or “He doesn’t need to know, it’ll only be more trouble than it’s worth.”
BE CAREFUL!
What are you really doing when you withhold information? You’re shutting a part of yourself off from your partner. A part of you that you feel you can’t reveal for one reason or another. On the surface it seems harmless.. but eventually that little lie will come up again.
In one way or another. If not by them finding out about it, it’s by YOU commiting more and more lies to be “consistent” with what you have started.
One lie after another, they start off small, but they grow big fast, until you find yourself hiding a big chunk of yourself/your life from your “loved one”, someone who USED to share everything with you, suddenly doesn’t anymore.
And YOU get upset.
Arguments start. They quickly escalate to once a week, then once a day. And then before you know it, the relationship is over.
Now you realize when you try to reconnect like before, your Ex doesn’t respond the same way anymore. They’re sick of the lies, sick of you hiding yourself. And no matter what you say seem to be able to convince them.
You grow desperate and end up making more mistakes that push them further away. Oh no…
When trust is GONE, it is so much harder to do simple things like be friends, make casual conversation, go out for a drink etc…
More often than not, there are NO communication at all because your face is now a vision of pain and hurt to your Ex.
Is there any hope left to salvage your relationship?
Yes, but it takes W-O-R-K… something many of us dread! In fact, if you ask for help on this point, most people will say to MOVE ON and learn from your mistakes for NEXT TIME.
Sure, that helps, but it’s not “really” a solution.
If you’re serious about getting your relationship back and you’ve made every mistake in the book… remember…
“Your past does NOT equal the future”.
You can start changing right now… if you decide you will and MUST.
Here’s what you need:
- Patience
- Consistence
- New mindset about yourself and your relationships
Understand WHY you chose to lie in the past, associate that it’s MORE PAINFUL to lie than not to lie. That being HONEST is the most liberating and freeing thing you can feel. Lie is long-term pain, Honesty might be short-term pain but long-term PLEASURE.
You’ll need patience for the people who believed the old you to have time to get used to the “new” you, and the only way you can do that is to PROVE your new self to them, over and over again.
You don’t have to do it with BIG actions and changes. The SMALL things are just as effective. Start by being honest with YOURSELF first. Start keeping your own word about what you’re going to do.
Then branch out to others.
Little-by-little if you stick with it, your Ex or your loved one will start to trust you again.
The biggest problem is STICKING with it. Start now and don’t look back.
