20 January 2012 ~ 34 Comments

No Contact, Why Your Ex Cares & A Surprise Ending


You asked, I answered. Here’s the hot questions I cover in this awesome video:

  • How to get your ex to initiate contact when in No Contact
  • The biggest MYTH about your ex and why it could be KILLING your progress
  • Why it is a GOOD thing if your ex have blocked you from social media sites (Facebook)
  • Why your ex still CARES about you!
  • How to decide if it’s worth going back with your ex or moving on?
  • If no contact doesn’t work, should you try to be friends?
  • Why you could be using No Contact the wrong way without even knowing!
  • Why being “just friends” doesn’t work and what to do instead

If you want a step by step system that will take you from A-Z to reunite with your ex.. you can download my program here.

These are just some of the things you’ll discover in this video! It’s a bit longer than my usual ones (30+ minutes) so get a cup of coffee and get comfortable :)

Oh, and there’s a bit of a surprise at the end too! I couldn’t resist…

Let me know what you think,



Oh, and if you’d like to know what website I’m talking about in the video, Click Here.


34 Responses to “No Contact, Why Your Ex Cares & A Surprise Ending”

  1. Steve 25 January 2012 at 9:17 pm Permalink

    My girlfriend broke up with me to go back to her ex who always treated her bad in the past. I know I can’t explain this in a rational way because emotions are complicated. When she broke up she told me that she never covered up with her ex although she said she loved me in our relationship. The last 3 months I tried to fight for her. When we had dates there was no distance. We kissed and had great moments together like before but I still knew her problem. She couldn’t really decice between both of us. She was really confused. Her ex started to contact her this summer and this was the beginning of the end of our relationship. He still doesn’t know that she had a relationship with me. Last week I pulled out of her nose that she wants to stay with him. She knew it for weeks but she didn’t tell me because she knew that she will lose me completely. When we met we kissed or even had sex. Last week we finally broke up in big trouble. We both said it’s better to stop contact. Since this day I ignore her. Yesterday she was sitting on the same bus. She saw me and she looked very sad. I took a seat somewhere else. Everything I know is that I must not contact her. She has to contact me if she wants to talk…

    I want her back because I am convinced that everything could be fine if she covers up with her ex and everyone says that it’s only a question of time that everything between her and her ex will go mad. What should I do now? I will move on in my life but I want her back and see if there is a chance. I want to accelerate things because waiting is terrible. All of my friends say forget her, she is it not worth but I can’t because without her psychological ex problem she is such a great person. I know this.

    • Max 19 September 2013 at 4:05 am Permalink

      Almost the same situation. it hurts

    • david 8 January 2016 at 12:30 pm Permalink

      I get that im going thru it

  2. sam 16 February 2012 at 6:13 pm Permalink

    My girlfriend recently broke up with me like a month ago and ever since then we’ve been communicating as if were still together. But everyday she kept reminding that were not together. She would say things like “we don’t have to be together to love each other” or ” I see u in my future just don’t want to be in a relationship right now” crazy thing is she’s talking to another guy and they’ve been talkin and goin out with each for some while now. She tells me there not together but he doesn’t think so I know she’s lyin cause she doesn’t want me to move on. So I just started the NC solution and lately she kinda disappeared herself to be honest this is not the first time I’ve done this first time I completely ignored her and she went crazy so I gave in so now I decided to start over and now she seems more distant before she contacts me but she seems dry and dull with me..my question is have I lost my chances on gettin her back?? Thing is I truly love her and I know she loves me we’ve been together for two years ended up proposing to each other that’s how I know its real but to be honest I just don’t know why she ended like she did but the first time ignored her she wrote me on FB sayin she lives for me and breathes for me and I was her everything!! I know she still cares for me cause she called me the other day sayin she really wants me to be happy and I told her the same and she got upset when I told her I was hanging out with a girl it really hurt her feelings. Which is my other question when she do contacts me its ok that I DON’T have to respond all the time it won’t mess up my chances on getting her back would it??? I would really love it if u get me some advice cause I’m doing my best not to panic thanks to u but I got know if I still have chance to get her back home where she belongs :) thanks

    • Kaity Michelle 30 April 2012 at 3:19 pm Permalink

      This sounds a lot like my issues in some ways. It certainly sounds like she cares and I really hope this works out for you. I know I hate being ignored and when my ex finally acknowledges me, I’m very cold with him as payback for ignoring me in the first place. Good luck, my friend!

  3. moon 19 February 2012 at 12:16 am Permalink

    I broke up with my boyfriend 3 wks ago. He broke up with me on the phone that Saturday, & I tried to talk to him on the phone on Monday, but he was angry and cold & saying we’ll be friend in time, then left msg on the Tuesday he replied later saying it was the hardest thing he ever did, he still cares, and knows we’ll be friend etc, then I tried talk to him on the Friday but he was really angry and cold to me and just went off. So I deleted him on facebook, skype, other emails and phone. Then the next Thursday I sent a message saying how I needed to take him off for my own good and maybe in time we can be friends, hoped him all the best sort of thing. He replied saying he didnt mean to do that but their was no other way of finishing it, he hasnt stopped caring and still worries and is glad I am thinking of being friend in the future. I didn’t reply, so today a week later after that message I sent a small text message just asking how he was, and it was a short text chat and I left the message saying sure txt me when u want 2chat! and thats it. But it’s been me all this time trying to talk, I left it long times and try say hello, so should I stop now? does he not care? we lived 200 miles away from each other and his bad moods and coldness started when he started college on the 23 jan. 28th jan he brokeup with me, I don’t know if there’s hope for us, cause he hasn’t initiated contact with me, even though he has replied, but Ive done all I can now. We met 15months ago, were friends, then best friends then started going out with each other. He was my first love, I am 24 (old for that I know) but we met from online, started as just friends who flirted until we finally met and started dating.

    What should I do now? It’s like he is being so cold, I tried talk to him, those times but I should stop now shouldn’t I? Cause he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me right now or he’d contact me first? I cried every night since we broke up.

  4. Leen 20 March 2012 at 1:28 am Permalink

    I know this gut from 7 years we’ve been a good friend I know everything about him so is he. few month before after both of us graduated and start working we start to talk to each other more and more hangout all the time he drives me home after work texting and talking all day long. my friends and my family start to notice him very much and asking question about what exactly between the two of u, at the same time he start to asking me question about what he means to me so finally we spoke and we decide some how to get to next step more than being best friends we really care for each other and I really like him I don’t want any guy but him he all I ever want. so he start to call me sweetie and that lovely words and tell me how much he adores me and how I’m different than the other girls he knew and me who is he ever want as to be his girl. so 1st thing I made and was stupid that I told him that my parents won’t let me hangout with u if the whole thing isn’t committed and official he said it’s too early we should know each other. then we talk as usual but I feel stupid that I told him this. few days after he asked wired question about how it’s feel in the previous 4 moth after dad’s pass away and he entering my life so I told him but he want to know emotionally as a girl I spoke as easy as it’s and I used to talk with him in anything. then he told me that feels nothing he try to feel but he can’t and he don’t want to hurt me he is having depression and he don’t want me to be in this and he can’t give me what I deserve I get disappointed that he is the one who ask for moving on so why now you are telling me that u feel nothing and we can still be friends actually best friends so I get angry I said ok at first but then I become very angry and I kept sending him msgs about how could do this and that I don’t want you to talk to me so then I didn’t heard anything from him for a while after that we decide to forget everything because both of us don’t want to lose each other and act like strangers so I told him to forget everything and go back as old friends we did but the tension still here I talk to him he don’t at least I send him MSG so he do the reply part only some time he don’t. I start to fall for him even of what happened and I want him back to like as before and want me all I get is somehow courtesy not what he really want. tell me what to do please.

  5. Greg 6 April 2012 at 5:34 pm Permalink

    Hey, I just wanna say thanks for this video. While my situation is a bit different than those asking questions (my ex and I still talk every day, see each other every once and a while), it puts me in an optimistic mindset. Thanks.

  6. Elise 19 April 2012 at 9:40 am Permalink

    Hi Ashley,

    So my bf broke up with me because I was “a robot with no emotions” and is currently interested in another girl. This interest started when we were still together so I don’t know if it’s classified as a “rebound relationship.” They talk a lot on Facebook, while he and I don’t even acknowledge each other’s presence. Please help me; I don’t know what to do! I feel that if I continue no contact, he’ll forget about me completely and move onto this other girl. When I talked to one of his friends who also happens to be my friend, the friend said that my ex just “didn’t care” if I talked to him or not, and just didn’t care about me at all…The friend wasn’t trying to be mean or anything; he was just telling me the truth. I really don’t know what to do. Please help me!

  7. Kaity Michelle 30 April 2012 at 3:13 pm Permalink

    Hi Ashley,
    So, my guy have been off and on for over five years and we broke up back in December 2010. We’ve been trying to work on things but really have done nothing but fight and argue for the past few months. It seems like we take one step forward and two steps back. He has these moments where he doesn’t want to talk to anyone and that doesn’t bother me. But I did ask him if he would let me know so I could leave him alone and not wonder if he’s actually mad at me or if he’ just in one of his moods. He also doesn’t show his emotions too well. He never calls/texts me first, asks to see me unless he’s drunk and doesn’t say that he cares. The only time he admits he loves me and cares about me is when he is afraid that I am leaving him for good. However, we have done nothing but fight something fierce for the past two weeks straight. It originally started out with me trying to talk to him about how I feel like he doesn’t care and doesn’t try to work through our problems. Well, he’s not a good listener and doesn’t actively participate in these conversations. I admit, I am a very emotional person. I’m easily angered and when he does this, I go off the deep end. We started accusing each other of sleeping around and what not. Then we both basically said that we are done. When he was at the bar the other night, I heard from a mutual friend of ours that he was venting to him (friend) and another one of his friend’s (who I do not like AT ALL) about me and showing them the text messages. He said he does not want us to end this in bad blood. He is very adamant about how he hasn’t lied about loving me and whatnot, and he claims that we just don’t “jive.” In all honesty, I think we have sucky communication. As of right now, he is ignoring me. And I really don’t want us to be over. How can I fix this problem and what can I do to stop myself from blowing up? And is there really a chance that we can work through this? I am so confused right now. Thank you.
    -Kaity Michelle

  8. Mary 6 May 2012 at 10:06 pm Permalink

    Hi Ashley,
    I and my ex had break-up 2 years ago. We didnt tell our love directly each other but v know that v both love each other which was 2 years ago..That time, He use to scold me always so one day i scolded him and told him that i wont call him hereafter in anger and didnt contct him for 3 months . I expected he wil call me but he didnt call me. So,After 3 months, when i contact my ex, He scolded me badly and cut my call..
    There i understood that he thought i didnt love him.. V r in long-distance relationship.. He s in another country.. So, i made friendship with him to know about him more..I use to chat him, email him but i didnt call him bcoz he told that he will be calling me and told not to call bcoz of Expensive call rates.. After one n half year, i proposed him but he rejected and told to leave him alone for some days and blocked my email ID. After that, he didnt call me at all and i too dint call him but i use to send forwards to him. Just 3 months before, i send chat request from other mail id, he accepted and chat with me.. I dint ask him anything and some days later,i told that i wil call him.. he told that he will call me when i message his number. One day, just before 10 days, i messaged him to call me but he dint call me. I was in anger and emailed him that his character has been changed and scolded him that he wont understand my feelings and he has hurted me.. After that, he dint chat with me. I asked him many sorry and not to take anything serious.. But i didnt get any reply.. I even called him several times but he has cut my call.. Now i m helpless, please give suggestions on what i should do..

  9. danny 1 August 2012 at 2:32 am Permalink

    hi ashley my girlfreind of 1 year and 8 months left me 4 days ago because she couldnt see me as a partner anymore do u think its something to do with the loss of her nan or her grandad who is all so dieing of cancer i thought the relationship was good but she ended it and im a brokeen man i am in the army an away alot what do u think i should do? i no what ive done wrong (put presure on her and we were both stressed with work) (i think ) i havent spoken to her since allthough i have spoken to her mum and one of her freinds but since stopped before i got a bit mental saying this isnt right what do u think i should do ??? i feel like im running out of time

  10. raven 23 October 2012 at 9:18 am Permalink

    hi ashley my partner for 7 years just broke up with me 2 weeks ago and im so broken . he told me the reason he left me was because he couldnt trust me because i left him for cheating me, i kno makes no sense i forgave and forgot till he did it again . we decided to make things work especially since we have a beautiful two year old and now he only come on sundays to see her but he still stares at me and calls me babe and hugs me but when hes at his house he ignors any texts i send about our daughter unless his dad calls um to call me he said he found someone else and it hurt so bad i limit contact.. because i begged him so badly to stay i had a mild heart attack and ended up in the hospital and lost my dignity on my knees in public..i kno he still loves me could this girl be a rebound,,i hope so we starved we were homeless broke and all we had was love now he has a job and im stuck sleeping on a couch in my uncles house waiting on him …plz help i beg u

  11. daniel 4 December 2012 at 11:20 am Permalink

    Dear Ashley,
    I fear my ex is worried about it being the same if she returned. She has been blowing hot and cold for months after our split, limiting contact, applying for jobs all over the country, flitting from place to place. This has been very upsetting and the other day I came to the conclusion that for my own mental health I had to take back some control because to this point I have been acting overly nice for the guilt I ve felt due to the arguments I caused when together. We were both very stressed and I accept I came across in a bullying manner….which I feel sorry and ashamed of now.

    As a result, I informed her that I had to block her from facebook as I found it upsetting to see her on ther. This was told in a nice email, but I also said I was moving on but had lovely memories but if she wanted to contact me via email Id love that as I still love and want her. She wrote back and said she understood.
    Three days later I did not hear from her on my birthday.
    I sent her a one line email after hoping she was ok to which I again received no reply.
    After that I stopped all contact and its been two wein touch.

    However, yesterday she contacted my (but mutual) friends for help which she seemed to not really need. She told them that she didnt know if we would get back together and that she was just focusuing on her new job.

    I am not sure I am doing the right thing and I am worried that past trauma (not physical I might add) might mean she is scared to return for fear of it happening again. How can I convince her shes safe in the relationship and that I now understand the situation better? I was planning to continue no contact, so not to put any undue pressure on her and show her I am both moving on, but respect her and her need for space. I hope she will then come to realise we had something special. What do you think?

    • kristian 11 January 2014 at 4:21 am Permalink

      Hey Daniel,

      Just came across your post and i am now in the same situation.

      Me and my ex of 2 years broke up around 6 weeks ago. We met the following week and she told me she “can’t do it anymore” referring to my anger issues. I have never physically done anything but whenever I found a situation difficult l would shut her out, shout and walk away, just refuse to deal with it. She said that she is scared of me and cannot take it anymore.

      The thing is she has hit me in the past and as much as I have a temper I didn’t react to it.

      I am actually seeing a counsellor now to deal with my anger which I don’t want to be a part of me anymore.

      We had an argument one night and i did the same thing and she just packed her stuff an left.

      As I said i met her the following week but she has refused to speak to me since. I did the usual begging her to come back and calling for a couple of weeks but have now realised it doesn’t work and have not contacted her for nearly a month.

      I was just wondering how your situation turned out?

      I love my ex and we had talked about getting married within a couple of years and then moving back to the UK to start a family ( we are both from there and she moved to australia to be with me).

      Not even sure if you will receive this response because your message is old now but would be great to hear from someone who went through the same thing.



  12. tiana 1 June 2013 at 11:33 pm Permalink

    my ex broke up with me 6 months ago . went all emotional about it and did a lot of mistakes by constantly calling him a begging to come back. for now he says i still have a chance and he thinking about it but he needs space so i defenetly nt contacting him but the thing is we study together and on our calsses we sit together so he tend to talk to me about his problrms at work and i lsten to him ,so at one hand try to show care but at the other i dont wont to become his listener and just to always be ther for hm whle he is ding whatever he wants without givung me any clue about our relatonships or about his feelings for me, so the question is whether i should move away from him during the classes or do somethng else. please help

  13. Steven 13 June 2013 at 6:03 pm Permalink

    So me and my ex were together for almost three years, and I admit, it was rough towards the end. I could blame her, or her relationship with her parents, but I played as much a role in it as she did…
    During the fallout, some things were said, by us both, and it has led us into a custody battle over our kids. She doesn’t want to have to see me, so as a result, she is keeping me from our kids… Now the reason I am writing is that a few months ago, we did have brief contact, during which she told me that she wished we could work things out, but that we just can’t… What can I do? I have been seeing a therapist to work out why I was stubborn in our fights, and truly believe things would be better, but she is just afraid they will go the same way they did before… She’s blocked me on social sites, changed her number, etc so that I have no way of showing her the progress I made…
    PS as a side note, the break up was just going to be a break so I could resolve my issues, but I did what most people do when they see themselves losing the love of their life, and panicked, hence the blocked communication

    • Steven 13 June 2013 at 6:03 pm Permalink

      As a side note, the break up itself took place almost a year ago

  14. George 25 July 2013 at 7:04 am Permalink

    My ex initiated No Contact because her rebound guy supposedly was insecure about her talking to her ex. It only added to my heartbreak, and she blocked me from her Facebook accounts. After only a couple of weeks, she unblocked me from one account and told me she just couldn’t abandon me knowing how she hurt me. Since than, I thought about initiating it because I keep hearing about how important it is. People have different views on whether or not to tell your ex, and I suggested it fleetingly to her. I stepped back and told her I was just trying to process and that I was OK. By then, she had called me on the phone a few times, instead of just communicating with me online. I didn’t want to mess that up. We love each other, but she left me because her 10-year-old son, who likes me, was too much for me to handle because he has behavior issues. She feels she has to be with her new love because he can handle her son, and that’s what stands between us, so I’m trying to learn about how to cope with her son’s issues. She even loaned me one of her books on the subject last week.

  15. Denise 29 July 2013 at 11:26 am Permalink

    Hi Ashley.. How are you? I’m doing pretty well. I love your ex recovery system. It has given me so much confidence and focus on myself that I was lacking. My ex and I broke up in January and it ended very bad. Lots of screaming, yelling, insults etc. needless to say I did everything wrong. Didn’t give him space etc. We started speaking again on Memorial Day and he’s been pushing and pulling the last 3 months. When he’s cold he makes it a point to let me know how not important I am to him. When he’s hot, he’s the man I feel in love with. Finally I decided I needed to go back to no contact for myself. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. I texted him explaining i needed some time right now to figure what i needed. Well he flipped out on me. Calling a crazy psycho who is making stuff up and twisting his words. He turned the while thing around saying he thinks its best we don’t text for a little while and for him having no contact is the best for where he is in life. Then I got another text from him saying he’s very happy for me and he’s not mad at me at all and he will talk to me later. So I very confused? There is a ton of passion between us always had been.

  16. DD 4 August 2013 at 2:38 am Permalink

    Hi, great post…my girlfriend left me last year (10 months ago) We went out together for 2 1/2 years, spent 3months travelling the world together, shared many great times and milestones however she did leave and I continue to miss her like crazy…I accept the blame the split…At the time I was selfish and didn’t look after her and us well enough! I learned the errors of my ways and over the many months have worked to improve myself. I accepted I had things to change, mostly for me and my happiness…as a result my relationships with everyone, especially my family has improved and they ve all seen the change and benefit from this…I ve forged ahead with my career and am moving towards a long term goal that I never thought would be possible of which I am very proud….I have even got out, enjoyed life, dated other women etc….but my problem is that I still love and miss my ex so much. She refused to give me another chance after she left..she seemed hard, made the decision to split and that was it….I just couldn’t belive she could go after we shared so much and she was willing to let us go without even fighting or giving it one more go! However,she was very hurt and I suppose couldn’t trust me not to revert to how I d been, so for her there was only one choice but to leave and start a new life somewhere else. I totally understand this, but I really do feel we could be happy with the way I am now…I let her down however all I have ever desperately wanted was to be given a second chance.
    I wrote to her 6 months ago expressing my love…being honest, apologising etc and she responded coldly stating she s started a new life…then three months back, I wrote a quick email asking how she was…she just said I shouldn’t worry and she s ok! I then decided I had to block her on FB as I was looking at her all the time….since then I ve gotten on with my life but I still love and miss her! She could have contacted me if she wished, but the truth is she hasn’t. I have deliberately not put myself in the position to know more about her new life and I don’t think I can now do anymore, however I would love to contact her again but think I would just seem desperate…even more I would love her to contact me as I now feel the ball is really in her court and not mine as there is only so much persuading I feel I can do!
    I have moved on in so many ways but the truth is she was a wonderful woman who in all my years I ve never met the like…and could never imagine meeting someone this great in the future! As I have said I ve met other woman since but I deeply love my ex and they have just proven to me just how wonderful she is! I hope these feelings will pass or one day I get the chance to show her I have changed, grown up and that she is everything to me….however I am scared that I will continue to miss her like crazy for ever…and that I will live my life with the regrets which caused her to leave! It s a horrible situation…I messed up, she left…wasn’t able to give me a second chance…now I am just left with sadness, regret and of course a longing for a most amazing girl!!!! it horrible! DD

    • smartasspsychic 1 December 2013 at 6:47 am Permalink

      DD, i feel for you. What a horrible regret you live with.

      You said you blocked her on your facebook. When a woman sees that, and she still cares (which I think she does), it hurts! If that happened to me, i would be afraid to make contact. Blocking her from your facebook has caused her a lot of pain, and she looks at that and thinks, ok then, he’s done. No, I don’t think she will try to contact you, hun.

      So first contact is up to you.

      But a warning!

      Your first contact MUST COME FROM A HAPPY PLACE. First contact must be coming from the new you, the happy you, the stronger more fulfilled man that you are.

      Making contact with her filled with your regret and sadness and anxiety will TOTALLY backfire.

      What to say??

      Think of something that reminds you of her in a happy way, or remember something you guys did together that makes you smile, and share that with her, and with a wish that she is happy in her life, “thinking of you with a smile” sort of thing.

      Don’t make the mistake of getting all emo on her and spilling your heart out. Save that for later when you guys have been back together for at least 6 months.

      My point is, when you talk to her, your communication MUST be from a happy place, or you’ll push her away. This goes both ways, for a girl trying to get a guy back as well.

      I think it’s great you’re doing all this stuff to better yourself, to learn from your mistakes. To come across as a changed man, a “new and improved” version of your old self, is one of THE BEST things you can do to get your ex back.

      One thing: Ashley talks about this, and it’s staying positive. Every time you think of something about her that brings you pain, exchange that thought for something about her that makes you smile.

      And–very important!–throughout the day, just make a point to notice little things in your life to be glad about, the things that are going right in your life, yes, every little thing take notice!

      Make it a habit! And just that one thing alone will change your life in ways you can only imagine. I know because it has happened to me.

      I wish you love and blessings my friend. Take care.
      meggie sophia

  17. Emily 27 August 2013 at 7:26 am Permalink

    Hi Ashley,
    First off you should know I am only entering my last year of high school along with my ex, so were still young, but the relationship we had felt very serious and committed in the beginning and that’s what I want back. We always told each other we could see a future with one another, but then like most relationships different things effected us. It’s important for you to know this is our second time breaking up. Both times were in the heat of the moment, and always had to do with how he has different friends than I do (stupid high school drama, very immature). So after our break up this time, we agreed that we just weren’t ready for a relationship. He didn’t wanna feel tied down in his last year of high school and I agreed we needed time apart, but he wanted to stay friends. Then one night on my twitter page, a friend had posted something about me and her hanging out with two guy friends, and out of no where he started a huge fight with me on the Internet for everyone to see! he wouldn’t answer my texts, and when he finally did he said he wanted me out of his life, and that he was over me. He’s been acting like he hates me and idk if the relationship is repearable or not! I’m willing to try though because I can’t stop thinking about how perfect it is when we are together. Do you think I should give up or go ahead with the no contact rule?

    • smartasspsychic 1 December 2013 at 6:51 am Permalink

      Emily, sounds like maybe someone told him something about you that pissed him off….?? Maybe someone wants to split you guys up?

  18. johnny 21 September 2013 at 2:40 pm Permalink

    Okay I’ve read what is on here… I agree with it,
    but how am supposed to be cool with my ex, who’s now seeing some one else and when we do have “the friends moment’ she makes me feel so shit!
    After month of being single… Ive not had so many friends tell me i look so depressed! i’m never win her back am I?

  19. R PHILLIPS 27 September 2013 at 5:34 am Permalink

    Hi, I please need an answer because I feel like I am going made with grief and I am in the middle of my exams at the moment. My ex boyfriends daughter selfishly went missing for two months (32 years old). She ran off with her boyfriend and her father was worried sick. I supported him by asking him if we should look in the Woods as I knew she liked camping. and I always asked if he had heard from her. In the meantime, I was up to my eyes preparing for a court case as my best friends father had scammed me with a lot of money so I had like 4 weeks to get all the papers together for the fraud squad and also finish an extension to my house with all the noise and appeal against a scam parking ticket. The day he rang me to tell me his daughter was on her way home, it was on Skype, he could see that there were papers all over my desk and I looked bad. I told him that I did not want to talk about his daughter at that time and I went on and on about this paperwork etc. He showed no sign of annoyance but the next day I skyped him and he called me a bitch and said I was selfish and how can my parking scam be more important that his daughter and that I was building a conversion to get a tenant to make up some of the money I lost, which was giving me a lower quality of life as my room was smaller. I was wanting him to say that he was proud of me for being strong enough to think of a way out of my situation. We were meant to go on holiday for two weeks two days after but he did not come here. We are in a long distance relationship. He said he realised he could not do long distance anymore as it was killing him. My argument is that if someone down the road had wanted a relationship with him I still would have chosen my ex even if it only meant seeing him twice a month, as this is the person I love. It only seems to make sense to me!! I am broken up. He has skyped me four times since with a joke, a pic and a comment and I answered twice very short replies but nothing else. tried to keep no contact so I have gone from being devastated 3 weeks ago to just about getting there now. But I don’t have facebook but he has Skype and so do I. I am his only contact on Skype and he has Skype on all the time. Why? can someone please tell me why?

  20. ken 16 October 2013 at 7:42 pm Permalink

    have you guys ever thought about a video on escaping friend zone

  21. Anna 8 November 2013 at 9:07 am Permalink

    Ashley, that is exactely what I needed to hear today. Thank you:).

  22. smartasspsychic 1 December 2013 at 6:59 am Permalink

    Ashley, love your advice, great stuff! I have read soooo many ebooks and watch tons of videos online about relationships and stuff and you have more valuable content than most of them, and they’re supposed to be older than you?? lol Thanks for slaving away with all these videos!
    meggie sophia

  23. kristian 11 January 2014 at 4:48 am Permalink


    Same as the above comment.

    That video was exactly what I needed.

    Thank you :)

  24. allan settlemire 5 June 2014 at 8:49 pm Permalink

    Hi ashley I live with my ex of 2 years and 4 months we have four kids I have one of my own with her I practically adopted her kids I broke up with her more than I could count because I was afraid I wasn’t right for her so every fight I broke up with her she works is dating a co worker we are both 23 her rebound is 29 he has two jobs two homes is going to school to be a corrections officer she was going to leave me for wanting to be a police officer she throws him constantly in my face sends very mixed messages to me I broke up with her 7 months ago they are going on two months together we have had sex since they have been together tells me not to tell him is very hateful toward me puts me down hits me other times she is sweet to me I begged did all the stuff threatened to hurt him all she does is defend him she goes through my phone gets jealous of girls pics in my phone gets sad I try talking about getting back together she flips out on me what should I do

  25. Aladino 27 October 2014 at 12:21 pm Permalink

    How can I get contact with you I will pay for your service

  26. john 27 November 2015 at 5:59 am Permalink

    hi sore hearted …………….
    we would all like our exes back its hard to rewind the clock dont forget all this rubbish you hear the heart want what the heart wants dont just sit back the longer you wait……….. but if its been a while give her space its quiet simple tell you accept the breakup send some friendship flowers to her work with a friend ship card nit roses etc
    she wont throw them in the bin she will take them home no contact she will text you something just send a smiley no words
    give it time when she is lonely at home she,ll look at those flowers eventually y she will make contact dont bow it take it slow send her a joke at work at lunch shell tell her work mates if they laugh that one more knife out of your back and keep her laughing the rest will happen but remember dont go back into that last relationship it dead know its new know

  27. john 27 November 2015 at 6:52 am Permalink

    hi ashley
    in my case we broke up she wanted space or as she said it will be better for both of us her son commited suicide and she said i wasnt there for her she was on depression tablets before the the break up effected her her daughters didnt ake it well on tryed to suicide hubby had a affair with a girl 20 years younger and didnt want her back we went out for 2 years and i wasnt moving quick enough for her in her relationship she had her foot on the pedal you might say
    i could see the kids werent in a good space before what happened and they liked me and told there mum ok its been 3 months she allways returned my texts i gave her the space she wanted i never rung her in this tim she rung me a few time when we talked we laughed etc felt great eventually went to the movies to together when i dropped her off she said she had a great time as she walked away i felt the same 2 days later she texted me im at home in my bed room alone i could of said what are you wearing but i just send a a short text as i didnt want care her any way ddnt hear from her she didnt respond to my texts sat she responds in in melb had to get out of sydney for a long week end next week we texted o the sat she sends me a photo text guess where i i am your at fleetwood mac con basically she has been showing me ……look at me know why does she do this she never textd me again after that so ive put the contact rule into place
    but ive texted her every day foe 2 years as she like ti see my text
    does the no contact rule apply hear still love her and want her back
    but i think she has moved on to spite me

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