15 April 2010 ~ 36 Comments

Women: Do You Make These Mistakes With Your Ex?

A few years ago, I was in a relationship with a man I really loved and cared about. Our relationship was far from perfect and we argued all the time, but we loved each other and for a long time, I thought that was enough. I believed the rest would just work itself out.

Consciously, I thought things were going fine. We had issues but we were “working” on them.

Subconsciously however, a lot of underlying tension was brewing. This soon would erupt and cause fatal melt down to our relationship.

One unsuspecting day, we had another one of our arguments. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it. I was complaining about how he never wanted to do things with me, and never thought of me. Basically, I felt unappreciated.

I wanted him to talk to me and make me feel better.

He didn’t.

At first, I was calm. I wanted to just talk. Get the issue out in the open and not just sit on it.

He refused.

I got a little more upset. I couldn’t understand his reasoning here. What’s wrong with just talking about things?

I started calling him on the phone. He wouldn’t pick up. I tried 3 more times. He had disappeared.

That’s when something inside me clicked. I realized for the first time, that I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t want to be with someone who would rather run away and hide than deal with our problems.

This was the first time I seriously considered breaking up. Immediately after that, I thought about leaving the relationship for good.

At first, this made me feel empowered. I started recounting every argument we’d had, collecting justification for this newfound decision of mine. This made me feel good. I wasn’t hurting anymore.

My newfound strength lasted about 4 hours.

By the 5th hour, I was missing him terribly again, asking myself why he was such an idiot and why I still loved him so much.

At this point, my decision had changed from being certain I wanted out – to saying things like… “If he calls me now and apologizes, I’ll forgive him.” Or “I’ll give him another day or so to make it up to me.” Or “I was being a little unreasonable, maybe I should call him and apologize. I do miss him.”

In the end I decided that I would wait for him to contact me. After all, I was the one who reached out to him last, and he had to know I was waiting for him to call me. Right?

He didn’t call the next day.

Or the day after that.

By Day 3, I was starting to think he was the one breaking up with ME.

On Day 4, he sent me an email.

It was long, but the gist of the email was basically him defending himself and how he did no wrong in the whole ordeal.

He had a knack for conjuring up excuses that removed him from taking responsibility for anything.

I guess he made up my mind for me. I knew I wasn’t too smart, but I wasn’t THAT dumb either.

The shocking part wasn’t that I broke up with him after this letter (all clues were pointing that way), but what happened AFTER I broke up with him.

Apparently, when someone breaks up with you (whether the relationship was good or not), a chemical reaction in your brain is trigger, called the “DESPERATE and NEEDY” chemical – this new chemical in your system gives you a sudden new purpose in life..

“ to chase your ex as hard as you can until they give in!”

This was what my ex did, and let me warn you now. 95% of you will have it after a break up! Even if you don’t act on this impulse to chase your ex, you will still feel it in your bones.

Learn from my ex, what NOT to do if you want to get your ex back (there are better ways, trust me).

Don’t let this happen to you!

Mistake #1 – Remaining in Constant Contact

Reason you may want to do this: I don’t want my ex to forget about me or think I don’t care.

I run a popular email newsletter and this is the most common thing I get emailed about (after “How do I get my ex back?” and “Do you think I have a chance?”).

Most people don’t like the idea of stopping all contact. It’s out of their comfort zone and deathly intimidating.

The terribly real fear is that your ex may forget about you and find someone else – younger and better than you.

So I guess you counteract this fear by keeping a lock-tight eye on them – calling, emailing, txting or randomly popping up at their place.

After all, having a friendly relationship is better than no relationship at all, and that means you still have some power over their decision to date, not date and maybe, even get back together with you.

This couldn’t be more wrong.

You must fight AGAINST your natural instinct to chase after a rejection because it does nothing but make you look weak and desperate.

Case in point.

What is your natural reaction to someone running full force at you, arms outstretched, tongue hanging out, and a sure desperation in their eyes?

Counter that with your reaction to the majestic sculpture of Michelangelo’s statue of David. Which would make you stare at in awe and which would make you run?

Humans are repelled by the weak, drawn to the powerful.

So if you find yourself calling your ex over and over, stalking them all over social media sites, sending a string of emails with ILOVEYOUILOVEILOVEYOU all over them, it’s maybe time to step back and observe the disasterpiece you’ve created for yourself.

Just like any horrendous painting, you CAN wipe the slate clean and start anew.

Mistake #2 – Using Reason and Logic

Reason you may want to do this: If I make a good argument why breaking up is not the solution, then my ex will see my logic and come back.

Logic has no place in a break up. We are driven by irrational wants and irrational emotions. Your argument may be sound but if your ex doesn’t believe you then it won’t matter what you say.

No one wants to be convinced they’re wrong, and that’s what you’re essentially saying when you try to reason your ex this way.

Here’s the truth. Your ex has their external reasons for breaking up and then there’s their internal reasons. Down to the core, we’re driven by our internal wants and desires. It’s hard to change someone’s mind if you’re not sure what is motivating them in the first place.

The mistake is to assume that you know what’s best for them when you only know what they’ve allowed you to know.

To get through to your ex, you must show them through your actions the qualities they desire, as well as giving them time to come to their own conclusion.

Your ex will want you back when they realize it’s far more rewarding to be with you than without you.

Mistake #3 – Being Extra Nice and Loving or Changing Behaviour Too Quickly

Reason you may want to do this: If I’m extra nice, sweet and loving around my ex then they’ll see I’ve changed and come back.

Most of us have learned through experience that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

The downside to changing too quickly after a break up, is the unbelievably factor.

It’s just not believable that your new change is sustainable over a long period of time. If your ex doesn’t believe you, they won’t trust you enough to come back.

Slow and gradual progress works much better here.

Mistake #4 – Taking No Contact to the Extreme

Reason you may want to do this: If I just ignore my ex, they’ll see they can’t live without me and come back.

Ignoring someone – or in other words – pretending they don’t exist and not worth your time, will not get you in the good books with anyone. It may catch their attention, but eventually you’ll have to stop ignoring them.

Once you go back on contact, that’s when you get hit with the consequences.

Case in point. My ex may have waited too long for an apology. And when the apology came (was there one?) it wasn’t even sincere.

Put aside the idea that there has to be someone right and someone wrong. If the only reason you’re holding back contact is so you can avoid admitting defeat, then ask yourself this:

“Would I rather be right or in love?”

Mistake #5 – Deliberately Doing Things to Piss Your Ex Off

Reason you may want to do this: If I just make their life miserable, they’ll see they’re better off with me than without me.

Sometimes we’re so hurt and frustrated by someone that instead of doing what we know to win them back, we direct our anger at them instead.

You may want to hurt your ex to get back at them. You may want to yell, blame, name-call and lay on the guilt-trip because you don’t know what else to do. But doing so will hurt you ten times more than it will hurt your ex.

Key point to remember: “The secret to getting what you want is to give whatever it is you wish to receive.”

If you give out abuse, expect abuse back. If you only give out kindness and love, that’s what you’ll receive as well.

The trick is to prepare for outbursts beforehand. If you know a part of you hate your ex for doing what they did, do NOT seek contact with them until that emotion has subsided.

I won’t go into the details of how my ex made these mistakes, but he did. At one point, I thought to myself: “Who is this person?” It made me question whether I really knew him at all.

The point is break ups bring out the WORST in people. IE. all your insecurities, fears and weaknesses come floating up to the surface and it can make you do crazy things that create lasting damage to your relationship.

What To Do If You’re Making These Mistakes Now?

So if you’ve realize that you’re no angel either and you have made one or all of these mistakes, do not fret just yet.

Chances are, your ex expected some type of resistance to the break up. At least it shows you care and give a shit after all.

But has it completely ruined your chances?

I’m giving away one of the bonuses included in The Ex Recovery System.

Get it here FREE:

Click Here to Download

This report reveals what I believe are telltale signs that you still have a chance with your ex. This is only a series of free reports I’ll be sending to you :)

Your friend,


36 Responses to “Women: Do You Make These Mistakes With Your Ex?”

  1. Maha 10 November 2011 at 6:08 am Permalink

    The problem in my case we had many break up before and it seems he is getting married since I cant marry him, he said he loves me but we have to end it while keeping me in his life as””””” I don’t know!
    He knows me well and I font want him to feel I am playing games here

  2. Maha 10 November 2011 at 6:10 am Permalink

    I ignored him now , he sent me normal things twice, then stopped”it has been twenty day’s when can I establish the contact and how ? What to say?

  3. Sheila Moton 11 November 2011 at 7:21 am Permalink

    I chase my ex-boyfriend back to try to recover my money back when here left the the relationship he said i didn’t have sex enough with him for as much as he need it.

    He said that his new girl give it to him when he need it. And she do for him the same thing that i use to do except about the sex is more.

    I said to him OK!!! FINE

    • kck 23 December 2011 at 4:11 am Permalink

      sheila ……dont worry u will get the best

  4. lauren t 29 November 2011 at 12:51 pm Permalink

    Its been spoon long since we contacted… he says hes happy I’m happy now but wants nothing to do with me now.. and he refuses to be friends because. It will. Turn out “bad”.. but I think it will be different? What’s wrong

  5. n/a 9 December 2011 at 3:27 pm Permalink

    Ok well him and I are in the “friend zone”.. It’s been that way for 2 weeks now. He said we both need to mature first before getting back in the relationship.. (we’re both 16 so in my defense, I don’t know how long before we grow “mature” enough..) We constantly text each other, we act as good friends. We have a class together and we’re in the same group. We talk like nothing happened and we both smile and laugh and have fun.. Honestly it felt good because we have some contact. He posts stuff on facebook too. He talks to me there.. Basically we’re in the “I’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all” phase… In my mind all I wantfor Christmas is HIM.. not even go back to the way we were but start over for a better, more improved relationship now that we’re aware of the constant fighting as the biggest problem. I’ve asked him a couple of times out of pure, stupid, depressed impulse if we’re ever going back together and I’ve said that I’m willing to give it another shot… I guess he’s scared to get involved again because of those fights. I feel like he still has feelings (might not be as strong as before) but he’s pulling back… That’s what’s upsetting me most. I miss him like crazy.. I’ve had harsher, much much MUCH worse breakups in the past yet this is the ONLY guy I can’t seem to let go. I really fell for him. The first and last time I was hurt this bad was my very first boyfriend, we lasted 7 months so it’s pretty natural for a teenager to “fall in love” really bad with their first boyfriend. That was when I was in 6th grade…. 4 YEARS AGO. I need to keep the sparks there, keep the chance open and slowlyget this chance bigger and bigger IF I KNEW HOW.. I’m his first love, I would know because we were such great BEST friends before..

  6. Donna A 14 December 2011 at 2:38 am Permalink

    Sounds to me from the above posts that this advice might not be working out so well…

  7. Erin 22 January 2012 at 3:45 am Permalink

    I know I am doing one thing wrong that is keeping in contact so he wont forget about me. But my problem is this, hes doing the push and pull. A weekend after the breakup he calls me and says he misses me a lot and hes been thinking about me, and he would like to meet to give my things back. I agree but hen he cancels the meeting. This happened again yesterday he texts me “today? and he cant wait cuz he misses me” early in the morning and I say alright and we agree on a time. Then suddenly he cancels again on me saying hes been called into work an that hes really sorry he’ll explain later. I know what he really was doing hes seeing another much younger girl.. a freshman in high school to be exact. But hes kept her well hidden from me. So I guess he cares enough to keep her from me knowing about it. Why is he doing this push pull thing with me when he already has another person replacing me so quickly?

  8. Donna A 24 January 2012 at 6:10 am Permalink

    My ex dumped me out of nowhere. He is the one that pursued me, whisked me off to Chicago for our birthday (it’s the same day) and then out of nowhere after two months, he woke up one day and said he was “done”. Of course I didn’t understand so I kept texting and calling, only to get a response of “please stop texting and calling me.” He owns a bar, and has barred me out of there too for no good reason. I’ve said a lot of mean things to him, and then of course apologized because I said them out of anger. He blocks my number and then unblocks it. It’s bizarre. I miss him terribly. I don’t call or text him anymore, but I’d like to be able to be friends with him at some point. What do I do?

    • Rachel 29 May 2012 at 1:26 am Permalink

      Just now reading this and I see you posted this back in Jan this year and it’s now the end of May—very, very similar situation has just happened to me–I’m curious how things have been for you since Jan.? Did he ever come to his senses? What’s happened since then for you and him?

  9. Goody 8 February 2012 at 5:20 am Permalink

    Now my bf and I broke up a few times before. I tried forgiving him and I tried being tough with him. We end up talking again and everything gets back to normal or even better….all of the sudden he explodes right in my face and breaks up with me once more. A few days ago he hurt me so much and said how much he hated me and hang up on me. The normal reaction I usually display is texting him or calling to later to talk it out or to fight. This time I didnt. I just didnt react. He even sent me another bad message to provoke me but again I didnt reply. Now he is texting me every other hour and saying sorry. Called a few times. I love him still and want him back but I’m done dealing with the pain. I just cant take it anymore. If being that hurt is the price I have to pay to be with him then I dont want him. I love him so much that everything he does is multiplied by 100000. I just want to know is he feeling sorry or just playing around? Now im thinking about purchasing the package but I’m just now sure if it’s gonna work.

  10. mooj 21 March 2012 at 4:48 am Permalink

    heey ashley
    i wanna start
    wht should i do right nw i want the steps to start
    thnx xx

  11. mooj 22 March 2012 at 4:03 pm Permalink

    i just want to knw if my ex still loves me or not ? i told u everything i just want to knw if he loves me or nt ?and if he want to come bk or it will take time :((
    thnx lots of love mooj x

  12. Leesa 19 April 2012 at 11:27 pm Permalink

    My ex and I got engaged in January, he asked me to marry him and had spoken to my father – he promised my father he would never hurt me and wanted to grow old with me. Then in March completely out of the blue he walked out and has now started seeing my best friend. He says he doesn’t love me and that he’s moved on, however none of his actions mirror this. He’s spent time telling people he’s lucky to have found me and he loves me. I don’t understand ! I tried emailing him and asking him to talk, he came but said he wouldn’t chnage his mind, he has collected some but not all of his things from the house and is still engaged to me on facebook.

    • Ashley Kay 20 April 2012 at 2:09 am Permalink

      your ex had a case of cold feet. just give him time to process what he really wants. keep a limited contact too

  13. Dawn 23 April 2012 at 7:41 am Permalink

    my boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year..he told me at 4 months that he loved me and we discussed living together..we live an hour apart and I live about 10 minutes from his job. He discussed selling his home and moving closer to his job and in consequence closer to me..we would move in together and start a life. My boyfriend and I are both divorced..his 2 adult children live with him as does me and my adult son. We are both in our mid forties…I was shocked completely when he told me that he changed his mind..wasnt selling his house “right now” and wanted to “slow down” he also told me he loves me but wasnt sure now if he was “in love” with me…I was shocked we had a fabulous relationship (I thought) and he was always loving and affectionate with me..we talked and he is still treating me the same no different just doesnt talk of us moving in together…I am devastated..my lease is up towards the end of the year and now I have to make new plans..I thought him and I were going to be together now I have to replan my life…will he ever change his mind and want to move forward with me? I believe his children had much to do with this decision they are very jealous and dont want their father with anyone who isnt their mother even though hes been divorced for 9 years and they are 19 and 21 years old.Is there any hope for me? I deeply love this man….

  14. nrc 5 May 2012 at 6:39 am Permalink

    My ex has always been a little immature and I noticed it even more after we had our daughter who is 6 years old now. My ex stated that he wanted to go into the military because he felt he was doing nothing with his life but drinking it away. We survived being apart through his bootcamp but his first deployment I could feel that he was pulling away. Now this whole 6 years I have pretty much done everything for my ex. We wrote, send him packages, encouraged him, told him how proud we were. He came home from deployment and told me that he just didn’t feel the same way he did and that we should go our seperate ways. My ex had told me before he left if we would be ok and I said yes because I thought his intentions were to go make a life for us to share. Anyways I did everything wrong, I called him names, told him I hated, deleted his number (ignoring him). This has been 8 months ago that we broke up. He just told me that he has always felt this way, he’s dating again and that he has never felt the same way I did. He says he cares but that’s it and that I am so predictable. I am so hurt I thought I knew this person and I sit and take care of our child while he goes on and lives his own life. I have blocked his number and not sure if I want him back but I want him to understand that what he did was hurtful and wrong. What do you think I should do?

  15. Nikki 19 May 2012 at 5:33 pm Permalink

    My boyfriend of 8 months no longer wants anything to do with me.. I became pregnant with his child and he hates it.. He wanted me to abort the baby and I couldn’t.. He has went back and forth with this and talked about us having a future and now he is dating someone else and said he wants nothing to do with the baby. I’m heartbroken cuz I am in love with him.. I don’t know what to do. I’ve done everything wrong according to your tips. He still comes over and says he still cares but doesn’t want an exclusive relationship. told me recently that he can’t hold me at gf status anymore and that I could do what I wanted. My heart is broken. Said he will be at birth but says he doesn’t want her to have his last name. I’m so confused. Told me also that he can’t support anyone until he can support himself. I don’t know what to do or think. I cry everyday.

    • Ashley Kay 23 May 2012 at 5:33 pm Permalink

      Hi Nikki, I’m sorry to hear that and my advice would be something that anyone might be shocked upon reading. This situation is different especially when another life is already involved. Your ex should no longer be your priority because clearly you and sadly his baby is not his priority too. It would be better just to forget about him because sorry to say he wasn’t enough for you. He is not mature enough to be responsible for his actions. Nikki, he made that baby with you.

      • TheTruthHurts 17 September 2012 at 12:02 pm Permalink

        There is a simple solution to your problem. Give the child your last name for staters. The man has made it clear he doesnt want you nor the baby. There is also a thing called child support I higly recommend that you place him on it if he fails to support the child. Other than that I believe that its in your best interest to take care of yourself and your child why settle for less when you deserve better. Forgetting him is inpossible since he is the father of your child. At the sametime I would not persue a relationship with him at all. If he does come around I would proceed with caution.

    • Kathy 17 September 2012 at 12:29 am Permalink

      I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this life changing event with someone who seems to not really care for your feelings. It is sad to find a partners true colors when you need them most. I wish you all the best in life, just know that when you do the right things you will be rewarded. God Bless you and yours!!!!

  16. shaina 2 June 2012 at 9:27 am Permalink

    My bf an I were together almost 2 years an we have a 9 month old baby together. The weekend before he broke up with me he was all loving an caring,next thing I know is he decided to break up just out of the blue. I still never understood what made him come to this,but we text on a daily basis sometimes its not about the baby. When I don’t reply to some of his texts or answer a few calls,he gets all mad at me. I spill my heart to him,and he knows that no matter what I’m willing to take him back,cuz he has somewhat broken up with me but came back saying he still loves me. I don’t know what to do anymore I love him dearly can anyone help?

  17. lally 12 June 2012 at 1:27 pm Permalink

    Please help
    I really hope you don’t mind me mailing, I just desperately need some help and advice.

    I’m 27 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for almost 3 years, however we are in a long distance relationship due to being at different universities.

    We have a great relationship and are great at communicating. However this last year he has been having real difficulties with who he is. He is set to graduate next year but has no idea with what to do with his life.

    He says he loves me and this is nothing to do with me.

    he says: I think I know what I have to do but I have no idea how long it is going to take, I don’t think we are on a break I’m sorry. I need to build a stable adult life of my own not cling onto remnants of my dads. I have never been a grown up. I can’t do this with help nor a fixed destination so it would be unfair to say anything other than a vague maybe one day but certainly not soon, I’m sorry.

    I understand that feeling lost is horrible and not something he can get through whilst having a girlfriend to focus on.

    he says he can’t think of a catalyst, just as it’s the start of summer it seems like the right thing to do, and the only time he can get his head together.

    He says he feels that he was living his dad’s life, then was defined by his friends and lived a life they wanted, then went straight to having a relationship. I think he wants time to make his own decisions and see what he would do on his own accord.

    I just feel so lost, I love him deeply and truly want to help him and be happy.

    I am hurting so much, it seems he is having some sort of quarter life crisis and just have to take it.

    I feel that if I give him time, he will hopefully come back to me. When we last talked on the phone which was 5 days ago, I ended the conversation as I feel he is just using me as his emotional crutch, whilst I am there for him I know he can’t keep using me to make him feel better and help him get through his problems. He text me on my birthday and I replied thanking him, but haven’t contacted him since, it is killing me but I will do anything to help him

    I am just so broken hearted, please can you help

    Many thanks

  18. Cherry 19 July 2012 at 10:56 am Permalink

    Chaseing you ex never work 11 days ago me and my Ex break up . he decided to break up with me . I asked him reason the reason was he want to forcous in his job . he have bigger plan to do in life . I was like what I have to do with that I am not blocking his way . we had lack of communication in our relationship I always try to communicate but he never had time . What so ever I end up seeing him and he was totally change he wasnt a guy I fall in love with he talked to me do rudely and when I told him I love him he told me he don’t love me and I am irritation him , that kill me . I been through a lot with him especially when he was down . Leaving someone hand is easy but holing someone hand is hard when they are faceing difficulty time . Last night I gave up upon my feeling , I told my self I don’t deserve that , he treat me like stranger within 10 days I was very surprise , yes I want him back I want him to realize what he is missing , I know one things for sure is if I keep. Concat him he will never realize what he is missing .

  19. Tiffany 3 September 2012 at 11:36 am Permalink

    Hi Ashley I am desparate! I love my boyfriend of 4years so much. We have been leaving together the past 8months. The last 2years my boyfriend was diagnosised with Ulcerative Colitis and it has been a big struggle. I have stood by his side, do everything for him and support him 100percent. I also am not a fighter I dont call names or yell ever even though he does at me. He hasnt been working because of his sickness and recent surgery and I think gets irratated easily because he is home a lot and always bored because of this. We dont fight very often but when he is in a random bad mood he will break up with me for no reason but usually comes back with in a week or so. This time its been over a week and he has kicked me out. I have two weeks left to live. He hasnt been nice at all, just really mean and will threaten to have me removed before my time limit. I dont try to speak to him or make him made he just goes at me about it when I get home. Is there still a chance for me to change his mind? Can i win him back again? I really do love him losts and dont want to loose him he is my best friend is there anything i can do. Please help he is my world and happiness and would give anything to have him back in my life.

  20. TheTruthHurts 17 September 2012 at 12:06 pm Permalink

    I think you may want to refraze the taking no contact to the extreme. You recommend no contact or limited contact with your ex for 30 days. What is extreme no contact…. Does that mean after the 30 days or before. Alot of people would be confused by that.

  21. Monica 21 September 2012 at 10:40 am Permalink

    Hey Ashley ! I’m really sad and confused because my ex just dumped me and I wans’t expecting because everything was going very well between us. So in the beginning we started going out as friends ,were going to coffee and everything was fun! (and he semmed more intressed in me, then me in him ) one day we went out to the disco and we kissed , from there we started dating .. I meet his family , we always doing diferent things together.. whit his car he took me to many places, we sleep onde day together in his mother’s house ..well it was like a teenage dream but he had to go for 3 weeks with hist family to lisbon in holidays, las time we were together he was strange talking about future that we probably weren’t going to end up together .. whit is ausence i started going out with my friends having fun in disco some pics were in facebook .. we were always texting but he
    suddenly starded acting strangly and distant with me since the last day we were together ..then i call him and said “what’s wrong? you acting are strange ..and talkin strange..” he just said ” relax , we just dont know what to talk, i’m not always whit my phone ..” but then he sms me saing that he’s sorry but he needed space and time to think he just dumped me in sms and said he wanted to talk with me personally..I meet up with him it was very difficult he said it was him no me ..i said “but everything was so fine” he said “not really, things weren’t that good for me..its better kwow , you will find someone better, things were more physical..” i just couldn’t believe in ending the relation , he was perfect with me he seemed really to like me, I went away and never talked to him it’s been that way for 4 weeks now.. he sometimes is online on face and i just can’t talk and he does the same thing..I started going out having fun posting photos whit guys and next he does the same thing ! i just miss him because he was perfect with me .. i just dont understand, please can you help :s

    Many thanks!!!

  22. lizzy 19 November 2012 at 5:14 am Permalink

    Hi Ashley I really need your help my name is Elizabeth I’m at rock bottom right now I’m so miserable and have been like this ever since me and my ex broke up and I desperately want this guy back for the fact that I’m in love with him and I’m also 6 months and 2 weeks pregnant with his son and the thing that is really stopping us from getting back together is the fact is that he started dating another literally less than a day after we broke up I honestly don’t know what to do cause I really want this Guy back and I’m sure that he’s the love of my life..and he is just so amazing Ashley please email me and help me!!!!! I need to get this guy back cause without him I feel so incomplete please oh an one thing I forgot to mention we live together still so yeah but please Ashley HELP ME!!!! Please email me I need to get this guy back there is honestly no one in this world I rather would be with ;,,,,,,c please please help me!

  23. Astarre 30 January 2013 at 6:16 am Permalink

    Hey Ashley,
    So my boyfriend and I have been having a long distance relationship but he thinks that ive been cheating on him when I really havent, the guy and I are just feiends. So my boyfriend and I had an argument over this and it didnt end so well. After this conversation we didnt have contact with each other for like 2 weeks so I decided to send him a message. I asked him what happened to us and if we r still together. His reply was you tell me. So I told him I dont know he should tell me, then he replied and said I will let you know. That was the end of the conversation. After that conversation we haven’t had any contact what so ever and its been like a month now. Im so inlove with this guy, idk what to do.

    What should I do ??
    Is it possible to restore what we had ?? Or is this the end of it ??
    Why is he ignoring me??
    Should I contact him ?? If so what should I say ??

    Thankz in advance

  24. Ramona 22 October 2013 at 5:02 am Permalink

    Today makes it 21 days my fiancee and I seperated, it is the second time in nine months but three months we got engaged, It came on suddenly, we were very happy this time and there was no sign of us breaking up. One afternoon I called him and he said it is over …he tried but it did not work. He lives in America and I in Canada but the distance was not a problem. We wre bith married before and our marriages were similar.
    I am guilty of texting and emailing him and he is not responding. What should I do . This man was so loving and caring to me, he was proud being with me, took me to family reunion, his family have accepted me. We were very happy, he even promised me that I have nothing to worry about he will never leave me. He accepted my children and treated them better than their father. It is difficult to let go. His reason for leaving me is he wants his space.

  25. Lilly 24 January 2014 at 5:34 pm Permalink

    The mistake I make sometimes is telling my bf how much I love him or start bringing up the same conversation that we argued about. I sent him some sexy pics in his inbox on fb because I thought he would like it. Turns out, he blocked me and haven’t called me. He does call me sometimes to check on me and see how I’m doing. He told me he wants us to get our selves together and when we did, once he get his apartment he wants me to move with him and have his kids. He said he wants to explore and that I should do the same and wait for him at the same time. He said no matter what he will always love me and come back to me. But yet he wants to be with other people and want me to be there when he’s ready to be with me..I love him and miss him all the time. I haven’t seen him. People keep telling me to let go and as much as I want to its like my heart but something else tells me not to. I try talking to other guys, seeing other guys, etc. & i just cant. I’m starting to give up because I’m afraid that if I wait for him, he’ll find someone who he loves and probably wants to be with. Where does it leave me? I’m not sure what I should do. I love him to death but he knows that and he uses it against me.. but yet he shows little interest in me & tells me he loves me and want us to work on our relationship once he get his second job and apartment. Him getting an apartment will just take longer so how long am I supposed to wait? I’m confused on what to do. It’s like I’m his second choice, his “side chick”.. how can I even show him i changed when he doesn’t seem interested or want to see me? I really need help. I love him & I miss him.. i want to know why he did what he did, I need closure then maybe I can move on this time & forget him.. should I give up? Or trust my heart again?

  26. Lilly 24 January 2014 at 5:38 pm Permalink

    At this point it seems like um his rebound.. like when something doesn’t work out with him or someone else or when he needs something from me that the other girl isn’t giving him.. he’ll come to me! what to do? It’s a complicated situation but as much as I want to give up I cant.. any advice? ? Please help me!!

  27. May 23 July 2014 at 5:38 pm Permalink

    My ex broke up with me on May 12th he told me he didn’t love me anymore and that he didn’t feel happy with me. During the 12th to the 19th we spoke and I asked him if he would ever be with me again and he said whatever happens happens. On June 13th I got drunk and texted him… I told him I missed him a lot and that I wanted to get back together, he said “I understand you miss me but what’s this supposed to lead to. You already put me through a lot I told you I dont want to be with you anymore…. blah blah blah” I was so upset. Since then I have not spoken to him… 2 days later he posted up a pic of him and his gf I was devasted but I still managed to not contact him. He then deleted me off snapchat to post a vid of his gf and weeks later added me again. He sometimes likes my pics and often he speaks about me on his tumblr whether good or bad he still talks about me. I’ve been posting pics of me working out and he always views them. He seems happy with his gf but i still miss him and i want him back.. I haven’t spoken to him in a month a week and somedays. Should I keep doing the NC? I plan on not contacting him until his bday in Oct but who knows I might budge in. If I may add, his gf leaves to dorm in college at the end of August and I know my ex likes to see his partner constantly or else he feels like he’s drifting. He and I will be going to the same school but in different campuses…. but i don’t know!!! what should i do?!!

  28. Angie C 9 June 2015 at 11:48 pm Permalink

    My ex hasn’t called,texted or came over since he broke it off with me! I sent the letter per your instructions but will not know if he will get it. I haven’t heard anything from him since May 16. How will I know if I have a chance or if he wants a relationship again?

  29. Dawn 10 June 2015 at 1:33 pm Permalink

    Hi Ashley! I recently came upon your videos, blog articles, and newsletter and I couldn’t be more grateful. You truly have a calling for this work and it’s very evident. Thanks for sharing your gift with the world :) I’m writing with a slightly different angle on the whole breakup, and I hope you can help me. I was dating this guy for 4 months, spending most weekends with him, and talking every day. I was falling in love with him and really wanted our relationship to progress (I wasn’t seeing or sleeping with anyone else). When I would drop hints about becoming more committed and becoming a couple, he said it takes him a long time to get to that point, doesn’t want a relationship and was not ready to stop online dating. He encouraged me to date other people, too.I told him that I want a relationship, want to be the only one, and was not interested in others. We had 2-3 conversations about this over the last month, and his position remained the same. So… I broke things off with him for these reasons (plus I found out he lied to me about going out with someone else). He made an effort to stay in contact, called/texted me, joked with me, said he missed me, etc. for a few days, and then nothing since (it’s been two weeks). I’ve been distant and out of contact, but I miss him a ton and really wish it could work out – and, of course, that he will commit to me. I know he was developing stronger feelings for me. Any advice? Should I contact him? Tell him we could be friends and to call me if he wants to talk? Keep things as they are and see if he contacts me? Let it go and move on? Would love any insight you could share :) Thanks!!

  30. Gale 29 February 2016 at 8:35 am Permalink

    I.broke up with my boyfriend back in april because I felt he was taking me for granted.I.still do love him and miss him I have heard from others he has a girlfriend.a.few months ago I.was transferred to the same park.he.works at we only had one face to.face meeting and in that meeting he.just smiled and winked at me.and.said very nice in the way he.always did.when he teased me.he won’t answer my texts or phone calls but sits outside where I work and watches me from his work truck or calls my desk phone and hangs up.there was this one time I tested him and got a text back saying who’s this I’m guessing it was his girlfriend.

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