Is your ex acting… kind of mean to you?
Here’s a recent email I received from Sean:
“I am trying no contact but my wife who lives with another man since she left a month and a half ago calls me all the time. She blocks her # and I have told her I wont answer anymore blocked calls but she still calls 3 and 4 times in a row. Then leaves me a rude or nasty email. When I have answered she usually wants me to do for her. I don’t do anything for her. How should I handle this? I want to talk to her and I have sent the seed letter but she told me she wont see me because she wont do that to the Guy she’s seeing. And she doesn’t want him to see his wife. I answered yesterday, we have two daughters going out of town, after she left me a really rude message just to hear her threaten me for ten minutes and then tell me what dating site I should sign up for. I am very confused because she has called me everyday. I know she getting mad I wont answer blocked calls. What should I do about this?”
- Sean S
Anytime you have an ex who is seeing someone else but continues to call YOU tells me they are not serious about that other relationship (rebound anyone?).
On the flip side though, if your ex continues to call you to be rude to you or tell you to do stuff, then this may be rather confusing for you.
For a man, if a woman is screaming abuse at you, the most obvious thing is for you to block her out. Which is what you have done. But… overtime this will only upset her even more and cause her to leave even more nasty messages.
Anytime a woman is being angry at you, you must look past the “surface” and into what is REALLY going on. An angry woman is actually a HURT woman. She is hurt because love have been taken away from her. The more you withdraw your love, the more she is going to hurt, and the more angry she will get.
Stop blocking her calls. If you want things to get better, you can’t be reactive, you must be proactive. Be strong and face her. If you can’t face her because you’re emotionally frail, send her an email about how you feel and let her know if you don’t answer that’s because you’re hurt and you need time to be strong again. Reassure her not to worry and you will be back.
Ask her what is REALLY wrong?
Keep asking her until the truth comes out. Sometimes this takes a few tries, but it doesn’t matter. Stay with her until you get it out of her, because there is a real deep hurt inside a woman when she is really angry.
Commit to loving her fully for at least 60 days. Anytime you have a woman hurt, the best way to counter it is to love her and show her what happiness is again. This is easier said than done, especially if she is with another man.
I personally think she is using this other man as an excuse to prevent getting close to you because she is worried you’ll hurt her again. But clearly she is already hurting.
It’s time to get real with her. Stop cowering from her. Get clear what she is hurt about. Start understanding her like you have never done before. Communicate with her!
You need to say all the things you’re thinking and feeling to her, and to stop running. She wants you to stay and fight for this relationship, if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be calling every single day!
But if she is purely taking advantage of you and only wants you for what you can do for her, either she has always been a narcissist or you’re not digging deep enough.
If you were married than I suspect she wasn’t always this way. At one point in your relationship, she loved you with all her heart and she gave everything to you… and then you broke it. That’s why she is hurt and angry right now.
Talk to her, get back to what is important, what made the two of you fall in love and stop running!
Do you know the cause of your break up?
I asked this question on Facebook, if you have a spare few minutes, let me know what you think caused your break up?