21 March 2012 ~ 3 Comments

Is Your Girl “Mean” To You?

Ashley here!

Is your ex acting… kind of mean to you?

Here’s a recent email I received from Sean:

“I am trying no contact but my wife who lives with another man since she left a month and a half ago calls me all the time. She blocks her # and I have told her I wont answer anymore blocked calls but she still calls 3 and 4 times in a row. Then leaves me a rude or nasty email. When I have answered she usually wants me to do for her. I don’t do anything for her. How should I handle this? I want to talk to her and I have sent the seed letter but she told me she wont see me because she wont do that to the Guy she’s seeing. And she doesn’t want him to see his wife.  I answered yesterday,  we have two daughters going out of town, after she left me a really rude message just to hear her threaten me for ten minutes and then tell me what dating site I should sign up for.  I am very confused because she has called me everyday. I know she getting mad I wont answer blocked calls. What should I do about this?”
- Sean S

Anytime you have an ex who is seeing someone else but continues to call YOU tells me they are not serious about that other relationship (rebound anyone?).

On the flip side though, if your ex continues to call you to be rude to you or tell you to do stuff, then this may be rather confusing for you.

For a man, if a woman is screaming abuse at you, the most obvious thing is for you to block her out. Which is what you have done. But… overtime this will only upset her even more and cause her to leave even more nasty messages.

Anytime a woman is being angry at you, you must look past the “surface” and into what is REALLY going on. An angry woman is actually a HURT woman. She is hurt because love have been taken away from her. The more you withdraw your love, the more she is going to hurt, and the more angry she will get.

First…

Stop blocking her calls. If you want things to get better, you can’t be reactive, you must be proactive. Be strong and face her. If you can’t face her because you’re emotionally frail, send her an email about how you feel and let her know if you don’t answer that’s because you’re hurt and you need time to be strong again. Reassure her not to worry and you will be back.

Second…

Ask her what is REALLY wrong?

Keep asking her until the truth comes out. Sometimes this takes a few tries, but it doesn’t matter. Stay with her until you get it out of her, because there is a real deep hurt inside a woman when she is really angry.

Third…

Commit to loving her fully for at least 60 days. Anytime you have a woman hurt, the best way to counter it is to love her and show her what happiness is again. This is easier said than done, especially if she is with another man.

I personally think she is using this other man as an excuse to prevent getting close to you because she is worried you’ll hurt her again. But clearly she is already hurting.

It’s time to get real with her. Stop cowering from her. Get clear what she is hurt about. Start understanding her like you have never done before. Communicate with her!

You need to say all the things you’re thinking and feeling to her, and to stop running. She wants you to stay and fight for this relationship, if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be calling every single day!

But if she is purely taking advantage of you and only wants you for what you can do for her, either she has always been a narcissist or you’re not digging deep enough.

If you were married than I suspect she wasn’t always this way. At one point in your relationship, she loved you with all her heart and she gave everything to you… and then you broke it. That’s why she is hurt and angry right now.

Talk to her, get back to what is important, what made the two of you fall in love and stop running!

Be strong!

Ashley

P.S.

Do you know the cause of your break up?

I asked this question on Facebook, if you have a spare few minutes, let me know what you think caused your break up?

http://www.facebook.com/AshleyK.Advice

3 Responses to “Is Your Girl “Mean” To You?”

  1. hritik 12 December 2013 at 9:25 pm Permalink

    hi ashley
    I have seen all your videos , all those have really encouraged me even more to get my ex back.
    my ex had left me 5 months ago and from that time fighting to get her back . All the things that you said , which shouldnt be done , i did those because i did not have any idea about what should i do , i got panicked.Due to this she doesnt want me back in her life , but she does have kept all the things that i have given her when we were in the relationship.
    My ex has this friend , she considers him very close to her just like her family and both of them are special for each other , i do fell jealous , she said that she is not in love with him but she loves him as a friend . She also said that after being with me she feels like not to come back in a relationship ever again .
    I do love her , i know my mmistakes and yes i did mess up things after the breakup with had a really bad impression like desperateness etc. i really need your help on how do i get her back and what steps do i follow to make things right so that she trusts me and loves me again .
    thank you

  2. Danie 4 April 2014 at 9:53 am Permalink

    Hi there me and my girlfriend broke up a year ago in the meantime i tried doing everything for her but she keeps on giving me a cold sholder meaningly she gives me a little hope and when i ask if we can trie again she gets mad at me one more thing she is twenty years older than i am i serously love her and i realy want to spend all of my life with her she had previouse boyfriends who abused her and i want to change that but every time i only use the sex word she freaks in the begining of our relationship she put my hand between her legs and i realy dont understand what the problem is i know we had our hard times but so we had our good times too please help

  3. Christopher 5 April 2014 at 10:32 am Permalink

    Thank you for the Hopeful information.
    I am so lost now with a lack of understanding to keep the girl I fell in love with happy.
    First 3 months were very exciting, breaking all the rules, than it started to go south.
    Texting patterns changed, response time changed and she started to become much
    more easily iritated, and quick to quit or leave, I spent much of my time protesting ,
    than with her lack of response My insecurity and jealousy set in, driving her away more.
    Than finally 2 weeks ago she broke up with me in the middle of an arguement.
    My friends advice are mostly to just move on, and maybe that is best, But I fell
    deeply, and am still in the mind set of wanting and hoping for her back.
    I’ve since somewhat defused the mutual anger with a text , nothing else.


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