08 August 2008 ~ 0 Comments

I Want My Ex Back – What Can I Do Now?

So what do you do if you’re thinking to yourself ‘I want my ex back!” and nothing you’ve done so far is working.

Relationships can fail for many reasons but at the core of each failed relationship, we tend to find ourselves alone when one or both partners stop wanting to contribute anymore.

If you’re a bit stuck on your current situation, you might want to ask yourself the following questions:

Why do I want my ex back?

Often we don’t realize what we have until it’s taken from us.

At the same time, we tend to want something MORE when we can’t have it anymore.

Do you want your ex back because the break up was a big mistake or does the prospect of losing them suddenly make you panic because you no longer have control over them or the relationship?

Analysis what it is you really want from this relationship and whether you really want them back for the long haul.

Were they really the right one for me?

Do this little exercise, which should only take you about 5 – 10 minutes, to find out if they really have all the qualities you want in a partner:

My Ideal Partner

Grab a pen and paper or you can open up notepad. Write down the Top 10 things you absolutely NEED to have in your ideal partner.

Examples of things are:

  • My ideal partner MUST be intelligent and willing to share knowledge with me and others openly
  • My ideal partner MUST be funny and not take themselves too seriously
  • My ideal partner MUST be an animal lover and not eat meat like me

Remember these things are a MUST for you, so try not to be too restricted with the things you list.

Partner From Hell

Now write a Top 10 list of all things you would absolutely HATE to have in a partner. This one you might find a little easier to write.

Examples of things you could write here are:

  • My partner from hell would be a smoker
  • My partner from hell would be extremely selfish and only do things to benefit themselves
  • My partner from hell would be abusive and a control freak

Once you have your two list done, how does your ex compare to the qualities on these lists? If they have most of the qualities you’ve listed under ‘My Ideal Partner‘ and very few in under ‘Partner From Hell‘, this is a step in the right direction.

This is a quick way for you to see if they were right for you in the first place. Perhaps you will surprise yourself and discover how much you have had to compromise due to love.

Am I willing to change?

You can’t expect to get back with your ex and have it be sustainable if you’re not willing to deal with the issues that split you up in the first place.

It’s also very likely your ex won’t take you back until you’ve shown some strong evidence of change already. Remember a relationship is a place where you go to give not to take. What can you give to your ex that you didn’t in the past? Are you willing to change?

Getting your ex back

It doesn’t need to be confusing or difficult. Check out The Ex Recovery System to get you started and headed in the right direction.

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