16 August 2008 ~ 80 Comments

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – Step by Step Guide

If you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back as quickly as possible, you’ll want to read this article. Here’s 8 steps you should take if you want to get her back.

Get Her Back #1 – What women are thinking when they dump you:

Intrinsically women all want one thing from their man. They want you to lead and they want you to be their support. If you fail to be strong competitors in their eyes compared to all the other males that come under their radar, you will eventually lose and they will leave.

Often although not always, women will leave when someone else fulfils their needs more than you. This is going to hurt a great deal when you realize you’re in some ways ‘not good enough’ for your woman.

But that’s like saying someone with good qualities is a good quality person. You don’t have to be the best, you just have to be better than the rest. You already have a heads up compared to anyone else because you have a history with your ex. Now assuming your time together has been mostly good, she will more likely come back than invest in a risky new relationship.

This doesn’t need to be hard or about changing who you are to make her happy. You already have great qualities in you, you just need to bring them out more and let her see it.

Get Her Back #2 – What to do first? Listen to your ex

Women notice when you don’t listen to them. They are all about attention to details. This is why when they break up with you, you need to listen to their reason. Most of the time they just want you to acknowledge them and make you aware of a situation.

But what do you do if you suspect they’re hiding something?

1). Truth is you most likely won’t get the 100% truth no matter what you do, so the best you can do is take what they’ve said and use your own common sense to figure out the rest.

2). If they give you some lame line, be straight with them and ask them firmly to tell you the truth… or at least give an answer you can be satisfied with. Most of the time they will ‘want’ to tell the truth and if they’re not, perhaps you shouldn’t want them back anyway.

Get Her Back #3 – What You Can Learn From Her Reasons

Knowing the reason they dumped you is a start but you’re not going to do anything about it just yet. Common mistake is your ex will tell you X, Y and Z reason for breaking up and then you tell them “I’ll fix X, Y and Z, so please take me back.”

Sorry, but it’s a bit late for that. If that’s what they wanted you to do they wouldn’t be breaking up with you, they would just have a talk and then put you on trial for a few weeks.

If they’re breaking up with you, their reason is quite secondary to the decision to break up. This means you have to ‘respect’ their decision first and foremost.

If you try to argue with them or make them feel bad about doing this (even acting immature), this will make them think you don’t respect them or their decision. You don’t want that.

‘Show’ them you’re listening and taking in what they say by allowing them the distance they’re asking for.

In other words, leave them alone for now!

Get Her Back #4 – The Work-On-Yourself Period

It’s important you maintain No Contact after the break up. For both of your sakes. Don’t panic and think she will forget about you and move on merrily with the next guy that comes along. Even IF that happens, clinging onto her by calling and stalking everyday is only going to drive her into that other guy 10x faster!

On the other hand, keeping your distance will give her a chance to miss you. The result of this is she will start calling you. Be very careful here however.

She isn’t doing it to get you back; she just wants to know you are still around as Plan B if her current guy or situation doesn’t pan out well.

Ignore it. Stay platonic and brief. Not until you’re sure she wants you more than that.

Get Her Back #5 – Pushing Women’s Hot Buttons

In order for her to really want you back, you have to make her ‘desire’ you and think about you non-stop until it drives her crazy!

Earlier I said women want someone to lead and someone to support them. In other words, they want a real ‘man’ to protect and help them with their problems.

You need to show your strength and hide your weaknesses. Keeping some distance is good as it builds a new mystery around you and she will miss you when you don’t respond to her the way you used to.

Going out with other girls:

Show her you are desired by dating other women. Whether you feel ready or not, it’s still a very good tactic to get her attention very quickly.

Get Her Back #6 – Work out and take good care of yourself:

If you’ve gained weight, it’s time to trim that fat and get lean! Your physical change will signal to her that you’re not just all talk but you’re actually changing to become a better and improved person

Work on your habits or issues.

Know of some obvious issues that caused the breakdown of the relationship? It’s time to work on them. Just remember to do it for your own happiness not just for your ex. Any change you make needs to be long-term and not just a ploy to get your ex back.

Read this article here for more tips: Tips to Win Your Ex Back.

Get Her Back #7 – Re-Evaluate On 1st of Every Month

It’s a good idea to keep a journal of how far you have come. Even if you still have your bad days you’ll notice things are getting better. Now I know realistically no guy is going to start writing in their journals every month to get their feelings straight. Instead you can ‘talk’ about your journey either to your friends, family or the less intimidating method of posting on message boards to a whole bunch of strangers.

Here are a few of my favourite:

Enotalone.com – favourite place for break up advice
Lovingyou.com – friendly people although they can be more ‘harsh’ about it… but truth hurts and they will be honest with you.
LoveShack.org – similar to the above but with more empathy towards the dumped

Either way it’s good to reflect on the process and the most important thing is that you have grown and ‘learned’ something.

Get Her Back #8 – Getting Her Back

While you’re working hard on yourself and keeping busy you will notice every now and then your ex sporadically popping into your life. What do you do if they talk to you? Keep calling you? What if you screw things up?

Really the only way you can screw it up is if you revert back to showing weakness and acting like you’re her doormat. So just be natural and see where it goes.

Now very likely by this stage, if your ex is seeing major improvements on your end, they will start to act different. This might not be straight away, but sooner or later you’ll sense them giving off ‘signals’.

This is where you act and do it quick before they think you’ve lost all interest in them. You do it casually, ask her out on a date; something non-intimidating and best of all, fun.

The trick is to make this date absolutely unforgettable. You want to really blow her mind so it leaves her excited and begging to come back for more.

oing out with other girls:

Showingo.s a new mystery around you. them. however.

only going to drive her away into that other g Plan it well beforehand and make this one special.

Dating etiquettes:

DO make a lot of jokes and make her laugh.

DO take her to more than one place (several if possible).

DO for the most part take your cue from her.

DON’T come onto her too strong if you sense things are going well.

DON’T get all serious on her, remember it’s just one small date.

That’s about it. Of course I can’t guarantee anything but just remember if you continue to do the same thing and it’s not getting you results, the only way to succeed is to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Also remember, if for whatever reason she doesn’t come back, does it really matter? I know by then you would be well moved on and you wouldn’t even care as much as you do right now.

Want to know if you really have a chance to get her back? Take this short quiz and find out!


80 Responses to “How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – Step by Step Guide”

  1. John Melgar 21 August 2008 at 3:07 pm Permalink

    My ex says she is not ready to her friends, sometimes she says she loves me, then she dont talks to me , one day we were in my room, and she ask me if we were going to get married?….But stilll dont want to come back, becuase she is hurt…But i dont know how to give her small spaces..like..talk to her 3 days..then talk..then 4 dyas..then talk lke that

  2. Katie (Admin) 22 August 2008 at 4:28 am Permalink

    Hey John, I wrote briefly about this situation you’re facing here… GL! Why Does My Ex Say ‘I Love You’ & Not Want Me Back?

  3. Avis Bailee 12 September 2008 at 8:05 am Permalink

    It sounds to me like you need to solve your depression problem first and then maybe you will have a chance with her again. She is going threw a rough time now and needs a shoulder to cry on. By staying with you, she stays depressed and brings you down further. It would do you both some good for you to solve those issues from the past before trying this relationship again.

  4. MIKE 4 February 2009 at 2:23 pm Permalink


  5. Steve 7 March 2009 at 11:55 pm Permalink

    Hi partner left 6 weeks ago 2year relatioship i had a fumble with my ex wife and she took me back everything i thought was fine but i lost my job feel behind in the payments and didn’t tell her as she was sitting her finals and it was coming uptp Xmas any she asked to my face if anything was wrong of course i said no, another white lie, she forgave me 3 days before xmas but on jan 14th she just said i can’t do this anymore and left. went back to her parents wont talk to me at all so i did the guy thing called tevt turneddup at the the home!!! i know now she is saying that she completely cut me off i as i disrpected her by involving her family which i did as they think alot of me. She will openly admit that i was so good to her in so many ways but she wanted a totally trustign relationship. Now she is saying that she has lost respect for me i’m all over the place i cut all contact 11 days ago including her family. What do i do they all know how much i love and care for her, she is really stubborn and i’m frightend she wont re-stablish contact ever again!!!!

  6. luis 21 February 2010 at 2:51 am Permalink

    me and my ex girlfriend broke up and now she going out with this other dude and i dont know what to do first. should i go see her? or should i ingore her till she misses me, but won’t that make her have more time with the other guy? plz help thx

  7. Bill 11 April 2010 at 9:00 am Permalink

    My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago because she decided that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. We had been dating for three weeks and things got too serious too quick. She told me she was shutting down the emotional part of herself to fully concentrate on School and other plans. I would like for things to back to the beggining of our relationship and just have fun. Is her emotional barrier really closed to me for good or do I still have a chance?

  8. Frederick 1 April 2011 at 2:57 pm Permalink

    HI.. Can you help me? My girl broke up with me few weeks before?
    her reasons are here parents, but I suspect that her friends are making her breakup with me and then she keep ignoring me when I want to talk to her personally and even rejected my calls. Then i became angry but i still love her very much. I even call her and force her to say that she didn’t love me anymore which i regretted so much. I want to bring back our relationship and the way we used to be..

    • simran 15 December 2011 at 9:09 pm Permalink

      hi try 2 understand her problem bro sh edidnt go against hrer parents

  9. tyrone watson 30 April 2011 at 5:45 pm Permalink

    my girlfriend who is also my best friend told me how her feelings aren’t as strong as they were before because of my insecurity and i wasn’t acting like my self it has been so hard for me, i still like her a lot she told me how i pushed her away and her feelings faded. It took me forever to realize that is what got her upset and made her feel that way , plus she had essays and assignments on top of that her friend told me that i put stress on her so she did what was best for her and broke things between us . That night she told me that she still got love for me being her best friend and i am a personal who means a lot and is important to her in her life …and she never talks to her ex’s. two days after our break up i gave her space and she end up calling me then we start talking and bonding as if nothing happened. I guess she called because i was on her mind or she misses me who knows?… Since we are broken up and were back to being Best friends how can i get her back because i really like her and we are going to chill with each other next weekend

  10. Joel 9 May 2011 at 3:43 pm Permalink

    My Ex. Who was my bestfriend for years before, told me she had to choose between me and her ex. And she chose him…cuz he changed from before. We stopped talking. We weren’t friends. But she still tried to talk to me. She now tells me she misses me, yet she’s still talking to her ex. But tonight, she called me by the nickname she gave me like 2 years ago? And it was a relief. But I played it off not tryna be corny or anything. But I miss her, alot. And were gonna hang out this upcoming weekend. I don’t know where to go from here.

    • nat 12 May 2011 at 4:20 am Permalink

      don’t worry about it too much dude, play it cool. show her that you’re still having fun and going out and doing new and exciting/adventurous things. if you learn a couple cool magic tricks, and then without mentioning anything, you just start doing one of the tricks, she’ll be impressed. also, maybe do a little picnic to begin with where you’ll talk and do magic.. then go for a little walk somewhere and say you know a really awesome place that you can show her. just be spontanous, happy, and if she brings up her ex (she prob will to see your reaction), just play it off like it’s no big deal since you now have the freedom to pick up any chick, and nonverbally make her feel like she’s losing out with her ex and should be with you before it’s too late. be vague when she asks about your love life.

  11. Jake 10 May 2011 at 9:00 am Permalink

    i broke Up Million , ”Great , i well Never Date a Girl Ever again

  12. Matt 16 May 2011 at 3:33 am Permalink

    Last night me and my girlfriend had a talk, it was about how there has been tension in the relayionship. We also talked about how we have not been able to see eachother like we used to. The result from last night is that we broke up even though we are still best friends. Judging by how she was acting lazt nighr with All the tears and from what i know about her i know that she hates this just as much as i do. She said that she wanted to see if she could have one of those moments to have time apart and then relize that if what she had was something worth not loosing. So here i am the next day feeling broken and lower than iv ever felt in my whole life, and i just dont know what to do. I am willing to make any changes and do whatever it takes to have her back. I still love her with all my heart and i need help, with what i should do now..?

    • Steve 17 May 2011 at 12:26 am Permalink

      Hey man, same thing happened to me two days. She came at night, then we were lying in bed, at about 3:00 am, she started crying and saying how amazing I am, and how much she cared about me etc. But said that she’s really young (22) and still needs time to figure her life out. We just layed in bed for the next 8 hours and held each other. Yesterday I just stayed at home all day, felt so empty and alone and it sucks more than anything. In most break ups, people are at least somewhat excited at the prospect of being single again. I can’t stand the thought of being with someone other than her… I know it all sounds pathetic and whatever, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and I wish you the best. Hang in there bro

      • Peter 5 September 2011 at 8:09 am Permalink

        I’m going through something similar. It’s not pathetic that you don’t want another girl than her. I feel the same way. And because of that I also know how crappy it feels. I hope things work out for both of you. Follow some other advices and keep improving on yourselves. Become a better man without giving her every detail. And when she figures her life out… I’m sure she’ll come back to you. If it was love, than it will work out. Have faith in what you had.

  13. Juan Bermudez 23 May 2011 at 1:52 am Permalink

    Me and my girlfriend who had been dating for a while ,everything went great but she had to leave out of the country for about 2 months she told me she loved me and wanted to be with me and everything was great but last night she just called me and said that she doesnt khow what to do or what she wants since she is leaving but she is coming back i told her we can try to work things out when she comes back but she just said is better if we stay of as friends i khow this girl isnt like that it just happen out of nowhere and i really love her i would do anything to take her back i want to spend my time with her .

    • Robert 27 October 2011 at 6:45 pm Permalink

      She wants to bang a foreigner on her trip and not feel guilty because u arent technically together. She will get a good foreign dick and then come back and be ur girl again. make sure u get a good fuck or 2 in there too so u dont feel like a loser. It happens, deal with it if u want to be witgh her and will put up with that.

  14. Randy 31 May 2011 at 4:40 pm Permalink

    My ex of 10 months and a half doesetn beleive Ive changed and i wont hurt her this time, Were both really in love, and I fucked her over before after she gave me a few chances but now when im forreal to make a life with her, she treats me like she loves me but whenever she wants, and she has a boyfriend and she says she is with him because she knows he wtn hurt her but she still wanted too see me to workout things… But we ended up fighting because she doesent trust me that I am forreal about being faithful & loving her alot without hurting her… i feel like my world is ending and there is NO escape… Please help me, What should I do?

    • kelly 18 November 2011 at 2:46 pm Permalink

      I feel the same way…my ex left me a few times…and left me a week ago, about the 4th time already. The first time he left we were apart for 2 weeks, and then little break ups after that. He would leave me because he says that I havn’t changed my ways..and I am for real this time that I am going to improve myself, but he says this was it, and he is done, and he says he does love me and that he will always love me, but I really want to impove myself, for myself and him, and when its time I want to show him and be with him once again. But is he truly gone, like he said he was? I love this man, we have spend almost 3 years together, and I have two kids, that love and adore him, and he loves them, how could he want to walk out on them when he cares so much, how he used to tell us and show us that he cares and loves us. i wanted to start a family with him and have his babies! so am i at a loss? is he going to come back into our lives? its been a week already…and i already made the mistake by seeing him at his house and sleeping w/ him and i totally regret that, cause we were together, and he knows that I truly am in love with him, he is just using that to his advantage, and its not fair. I got a couple text messages from him saying what his problem was with me in our relationship and thats it, but why does he tell me again when he has already told me when i went to see him. I just want him back more than anything. And also…he called me yesterday, and was asking if i was going to be home so he can pick his chevy up (his other truck sitting at my apt) and well why does he want me to be home when he gets his truck? is it too see me? and then says he wants to say good bye to my girls, in which I told him, that he should do that! and he isn’t I wont allow him to put them through that hurt, and kids dont understand they are too young. so i guess i am just hurting and dont know what to do either. I kinda pulled away from him this past couple weeks, not kissing him right and 4 times not having sex with him, maybe i pushed him away, and i guess maybe a bitch to much that he doesnt want to hear it anymore, so he is done? i dunno, but everyone has there ups and downs, and after almost 3 yrs why does he want to throw in the towel? we have gotten through this before and been happy. but maybe time will tell…

  15. scott 1 June 2011 at 10:37 pm Permalink

    i have been with my ex girlfriend for 14 yrs with 2 kids and asked her to marry me like 5 months ago and she said yes.then she broke up with me because i cheated on her like 11 yrs ago.i mean i made a mistake long ago but learned from it and after 14 yrs i dont want to lose her i love her dearley and want to know on how to get her back an be a faimily again

    • Robert 27 October 2011 at 6:47 pm Permalink

      14 years doesnt just dissapear. Keep trying, thats how u prove that u love her….u pursue her. U got it in the bag my man!

  16. Ethan 2 June 2011 at 3:25 pm Permalink

    me and my girlfriend have been dating since high school we have been dating for 3 and a half years now and we have both screwed up before and she left me for a year and then she came back and we started dating for another year or 2 and i figured everything was good but within the past 2 weeks she said our relationship was getting boring and dull and a couple days later i had went to her house to bring hers things back and there was another guy in her drive way the next day i find out who he is from my buddies at work and she works with him and he ends up being 10 years older than her since she is only 19 i was furious i know i cant give her everything she wants but i do my best i love her to death and i went over to her house to talk about us she had continued to lie to me and i told her i knew everything and she started crying and she said sorry and she had felt terrible but i am clueless i have no idea what to do we have 4 years invested i know were young but we have been through alot and have stayed strong through everything ekse but now i have no idea what to do now

  17. Barry 8 June 2011 at 10:01 pm Permalink

    I ended my 3 year relationship with my girlfriend 3-4 days ago because of the lack of time we recently spent together, after realising it was the wrong decision I invited her round to talk, she told me she loves me and she wants to be with me but she could not see our relationship working, she said she needed time to think about what she wants. Because she could not give me an answer I did not beg or plead with her I just told her to leave and not contact me so we can both move on. I haven’t had any contact with her since and find it very hard not to text her, changing my mind thinking it would be a good idea to show her I still want to be with her (even though is told her when we talked), or thinking the best thing would be to give her space so she will realise she misses me and let her contact me (which she might not actually miss me and might not want to contact me). What should I do?

    • Robert 27 October 2011 at 6:49 pm Permalink

      u have anger issues obviously. U can prob get her back, but if u dont fix that…. you will lose her for good!

  18. Josh 26 June 2011 at 9:39 am Permalink

    What if after the break up the ex says to never contact them again?

    • Ashley Kay 27 June 2011 at 9:41 am Permalink

      Then don’t contact them. They will and you should wait for them to contact you. You can also try sending a letter to prompt them.

  19. robert 29 June 2011 at 12:20 pm Permalink

    ok kind of long but here it goes i was dating a girl for 3 years i had this aching feeling that something wasn’t right but i found myself making stupid mistakes like going through her phone and computer and i kept seeing pics of this guy so i was wondering what was going on i even confronted her about it well almost a month ago she tells me we need to talk and tells me she is moving away to go to school and that her and her daughter got housing assistance and all so she moves i even helped her pack because she didn’t hardly have no one to help so she will have been gone a month on the 3rd well today i got that urge again today so i went online to a forum i know she likes to go to signed up with an alias and all went to her profile and not only two weeks ago she is telling him to get off the computer and as she says to come up stairs and bang her well i find all these things they had wrote back and forth including 11 days before she was leaving out of state plus pics of them kissing etc etc of course i’m furious but because of me being a dumb fool in the relationship i agreed to get a joint account on which she is the master of which i’m the one who made the money in the house so my check goes direct deposit every week and if i try to take my name off she will come here and take all her stuff like the bed,the cooking stuff,the tv, the computer,the washer and dryer all i moved here with was with just clothes i really need some advice i know you are a busy person but please help

  20. Chris 1 July 2011 at 12:54 am Permalink

    I broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago, we had been together for 3 years, we had alot of ups and downs but nothing MAJOR. the Pair of us where totally in love and always said that no one could ever compare, she said the main reason for the breakup is that she just wants to be “Steph” instead of Steph and chris. She still wants to be my best friend and do everything with me and told me she would pick me over any future boyfriends if they had a problem with me, she tells me she still loves me and never wants to loose me, I cant stand being single and not having her in my life as a girlfriend it tears me apart! What should I do please some one help me!

    • Justin 20 August 2011 at 5:52 pm Permalink

      Yeah, Im in the same boat man. Ive dated mine for six years. She wanted time to herself and wanted to be Meagan and not Meagan and Justin. But…mine hooked up with another dude. This drove me crazy and I hooked up with a few girls. I just have this empty feeling after she dumped me. We was best friends… DONT make the same mistake Ive made. Ive fucked things up. Im sure we are done forever!

  21. thomas 13 July 2011 at 11:51 pm Permalink

    Hi I have read all the comments above and half of them r sad …. I have a feonce and a 1 year old daughter I’m 16 and I love them to bits I’ll kill my self for them…. We we’re together for 2 years and then things started to go bad arguing all the time and that that was because we we’re together 24/7 and she told me she wanted time she didn’t want to be with me 24/7 and see me everyday and now we are not together :( I want her back so much I love her with all me heart we stopped talking for a few months then she got back in contact with me so I could see my daughter and ever since I have got back in contact with her I want her back so much I can’t move on I have been trying for months to get her back but she’s saying she dna and I get angry all the time but I don’t show her that I’m angry…. Don’t be with your girl 24/7 and see her everyday even kno u love her that’s what pees girls off because they need there time do everything your girl tells you and listern to her be there for her do what she tells you ? This is what happened to me and now I’m back with my girl I showed her how much I have changed hope you’s people out there have best of luck and have a family and goes all we’ll ….

  22. Jordan 25 July 2011 at 6:33 am Permalink

    So me and my ex always have our ups and downs and she always comes back to me but she always ends between us :'( she just came back to me a month ago and tried working things out with but a few weeks ago she said it was over and now she has a bf :'( i tried calling her but she never answers. And then she txted me saying that we are 100% over and everytime she came back to me, she just forced herself to be happy and she says that she never had feelings for me :'( and she said when she came back to me, she only did it cuz she felt sorry for me</3 a month ago she said maybe this year will be our year. She knows I'm a sweet nice guy, why would she wanna do this to me? Do you think I still have a chance with her? Do you think she meant some of these things? Is it really over between us?…please tell me no. She is the love of my life and I want to be in her life again. I dont wanna lose her :'( please help me!

    • Robert 27 October 2011 at 6:57 pm Permalink

      Sounds like my ex…… they will always do this to us. She loves you but she will always do it to you reguardless. You just have to let her go and start dating every time she leaves…..it will just make her come back faster.

  23. Jordan 25 July 2011 at 8:16 am Permalink

    Hey. Ok so me and my ex always have our ups and downs. We have known each other for about almost 2 years now and she is the love of my life but im not hers. Everytime we breakup she comes back to me. I love her with all my heart and i dont wanna lose her. A month ago she came back to me and we tried working things out. But a few weeks ago she said we were 100% done and now she has a bf :'( she has told me that when she came back to me she just forced herself to be happy and she said that she didnt have feelings for me and that she only came back to me becuz she felt sorry for me :'( Now a month ago she said that maybe this year will be our year, did she really mean that? I gave my heart to her and shes been my everything since the day we met :'( Do I still have another chance with her? Do you think she really meant some of these things? She knows I’m a sweet and nice guy to her and I have never hurt her or broken her heart. I love her so much and shes all I ever think about. Please tell me that I still have a chance with her. We are both in high school but she is a senior and I’m a junior and I want to make her mine again before she leaves :'( please help me!

  24. Joe 25 July 2011 at 9:52 am Permalink

    I am still sure that my ex girlfriend is still in love with me and she act like this and if our friends doesn’t know about our story they may think we are still togathger but she is seeing somebody else and he is a good guy and she isn’t in love with him but she say that he is the one for her and I want her back so bad I am thinking of proposing to her we had a very strong love story .
    I need help I am so in love

  25. ricardo meira 28 July 2011 at 8:48 am Permalink

    I broke up with my ex in an amicable way. Main reason I was not happy with certain things in life. Soon after I went to see her and had a complete brake down. We have mnet once in 7 months but keep in touch through texts and fb. A friend of mine (female) has said to me recently she is glad to see the old me again. She never met the ex however she has offered to send her a message basically saying I am my happy self again and that we should talk. Good idea or not? thanks

  26. Jason 1 August 2011 at 8:39 pm Permalink

    My name is Jason I have kind of a different situation then most I think. My wife is 22 and has bi-polar we have bin together for 4 years and married for under a year, she has left me 2 times since we got married. This last time was just under 2 months ago and she moved to another city and started dating another guy already, a lot of her actions are due to the bi-polar and I know this but I got married to her for a reason and I knew how she was before we got married. Her whole family is on my side and would love us to get back together and dosent condone her actions. I need to learn some of these taktics so when she gets in these moods because of her disorder I can learn how to overcome them before it gets to this point. can you help me ? my wife and my kids are my life and I would do anything to be a happy family. there is a lot more to this story and I would love to explain it to you in a private e-mail so you could give me the best help possible. Please contact me soon.

    Thank you

  27. brad 16 August 2011 at 1:19 pm Permalink

    Me and my girlfriend of six months broke up because the spark just wasn’t there anymore…she said it was because we fought too much and I questioned her about her feelings and this pushes her away. We broke up but decided to stay friends but I havnt talked to her in a few days…I really miss her and love her but I don’t know how long I should wait to txt her or talk to her if she.doesn’t make the first move and text me. Can you help?

    • Skyler 18 September 2011 at 1:01 am Permalink

      I feel the same way you do and I’m looking for the same answers. She doesn’t like to talk about us or hear of how much I miss her and still love her.

    • krishna 4 November 2011 at 11:00 pm Permalink

      dear bro,stay deserved.ask sorry by making her know how much u luv her.
      dont transgress your patience bcoz she is your girl….use the golden words”I’M SORRY”….. wait for a few days…the day will come n u will be withu your spouse.

      sorry if i was vernacular…

  28. Justin 20 August 2011 at 5:44 pm Permalink

    Ive dated this girl for 6years. We finally moved in together and thats when things started getting sour. She broke up with me because she needed time for herself and to think about school and didnt want to hold me back from the military. I was torn apart from this. Before she dumped me she started hanging out with her friend Sam and she had these neighbors and the drank and hung out for the last few weeks we have dated. She was never home anymore she was staying over at her friends house almost every night. She dumped me and got with this other guy Jeff. One of Sams neighbors.. She had sex with him a couple of times and that just killed me. Because she wanted to end this so she could have time to herself, but was fucking someone else within a few weeks of dumping me. I was was so torn by this and I went and partyed alot! I hooked up with two of her friends. One of them being Sam ( her best friend ) but they quit being best friends before we broke up.. anyway. Another one was one of her Co-workers. She found out and is really pissed off and upset. She said before she found out that we “could” get back together in the future but just not now. After she found out she said we would never be back together. Did I fuck this up so bad we wont get back together?

    • Robert 27 October 2011 at 7:01 pm Permalink

      She was FUCKING someone else. You were her back up. She didnt care about you enough to consider your feelings. Fuck that bitych. Do you really wanna kiss those lips that could have been on Jeffs cock…. i think not. She is a liar and a cock troll

  29. tinu 20 August 2011 at 11:21 pm Permalink

    me and my girlfriend were in a relationship for almost 4 and a half years ……but once when i went abroad for my higher studies , there was this gap that formed and she eventually started having feelings for another person in her college……we broke and she moved on with another relationship……..she recently broke up with him and is now single …….its been two years nw since me and my ex broke up…….i used to do the same things as being mentioned ……i even beeged for her to come back….but she didnt……..i really love her and would like to have her back in my life……i call her very rarely nwadays….is it too late to have her back…and not only that she is going through a tough time right nw with all the break up and all……….is there anyting that i can do to make her understand or get her back…..please help

  30. michael 23 August 2011 at 10:57 am Permalink

    Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2011 22:27:11 -0700
    I was not affectionate with her outside o bedroom,. at club walked in left her standing around, at dinner same , didnt show affection. below will tell in detail. maybe she thinks i only wanted sex, not case, i want something else, a realationship. but, she kept saying fun that’s it. two days later after she come back from vegas, she tells me online she met man of her dreams.and that she in love , he lives far, online thing i think, and they never met he didnt touch her nothing, she cliams, he agrees with every thing i say, she sent me hearts facebook. had feelings for me. she claims i did nothing wrong, she didn’t get to know me well enough to develop real feelings for me, we didnt love each other, this is new, end of june 11 few days in vegas, same with end of july, we spent over night each day.

    . going to vegas soon, problem, if i go to casinos and this club, standing in line for club paying to go in being in club will be reminded. strip driving down a starbucks, what to do. in car will be reminded. she told me before,we have nothing in common. i said well. iam willing to try new things i have not tried, for instance something you enjoy doing. and she said we so different, i said well men from mars woman from venus, she new what i meant. oops vice versa, she knew what i meant.
    this is a girl dating,we don’t love each other, didn’t know each other spend enough time together. thought it could lead to something more. At first I said when we meet in vegas after weekend see how it goes. take it from there. she was talking about and me relocating, her me he moving my way, if it develops to realationship. during time talking second meeting end of month in vegas she says I live to far before she didn’t think that. , then why below is she saying she found man of her dreams and in love with this guy she just met two days later after I met her in vegas ? it takes time to develop feelings for a guy. she claims below she has with some guy, and he live far, she says he agrees with everything she says. come on, man a man can’t agree to everything, conversation would be no fun right? after coming back vegas, next day she online,. i was doing strecthing and martial arts left computer on, and she says don’t you wanna talk to me? I told her above. and that i do want to talk to you. I don’t call text girls everyday.
    During interactions before first meetiing, she always asking me our you dating? did you lay anyone? second meet up during that time. She thought I was jealous cause asking her about guy she with before. When i left vegas first time meeting we spend few days, vegas, sex, , she at first said above, see how it goes. and possibilty. move some point. some time after she says, I only want fun and that’s it.When leaving first time she thought i was mad bout something . i wasn’t. made mistake sometime after over stupid disagreements. saying i wasted my time meeting you wasted condoms on you. she somehow met me vegas end of july a second time. problem, before meeting her in first place. She told me about being affectionate, in public. i never did that, held he hand briefly walking around and in car, same with second time. last thing told her face book, you were rude, it was over something she told me , way she answered. few minutes after i wrote back saying. you don’t know me enough to really know me. she sees me before close friend friend with benefits, she had sex with this guy friend who lives in her town. thought only time girl has sex is either with her boyfriend husband, a guy just met like a date. also 17th. she told me i don’t want to be your friend, I replied , really wow that’s nice. and later below stuff.
    August 17
    hi lorena, hope you doing well. So anyways, you think I don’t want to talk to you. not true. Just because I did not answer you on chat next day after vegas. I was stretching doing martial arts. I did call you a couple times each day like twice once per daymissed call you got. You don’t want to be my friend? Then what do you want to be with me? You said I was your number one in private, Just cause I didn’t respond next day to you all of a sudden… See All
    [Lorena Marquez]
    look you didn’t did nothing wrong to me and you didn’t hurt me and i have a good time with you when i went to Vegas but what happen is then really i’m inlove of someone else and we have a very nice relationship so i don’t want to hurt you eather but that’s what happen and don’t feel bad becauz you didn’t did nothing wrong to me.like i said i have a good time with you. and yes maybe we can be friends but no sexualy like before and we can talk some… See All
    [Flagged ()You]
    no your not.if you were really in love with this guy. cause if you really were. you would have not done it with me and your guy friend.
    [Lorena Marquez]
    yes i just fall inlove with the guy and i’m inlove but that’s what happen.
    so before we met you with this guy? if you really happy in love fulfilled with him you would have not done it with me and your guy friend you told me about. so you got what you want from me. I paid for your trip and you got to stay for free. you take advantage of me.if you really love this guy are happy fulfiled with him. you would have not done me and your guy friend. you fooled him behind his back , you cheater. don’t hold a grudge can forgive… See All
    [Lorena Marquez]
    no i didn’t take avdventage of you you get your fuck so don’t be the victim becauz you get what you want too.and no i’m no a cheater i just fall inlove after i came back from vegas so pls don’t even started with me.
    yeah sure. after all of a sudden iin love, highly doubt that, too soon to know that, you into him, thats the way it starts. i think you pretending about this. in few months, we can get together, you said i was your number one in private, so you being dishonest about that, you sent me hearts on facebook. you string me along.
    [Lorena Marquez]
    ok that happen in the past but now i don’t want to see you anymore
    i don’t feel anything for you sorry.
    Why? Dont you feel? Think you pretending
    [Lorena Marquez]
    no i don’t you know then if i really feel something for you i will tell u and you have to understand then is over.
    [Lorena Marquez] is over have a nice life and hope you find someone nice. she on yahoo chat before chatting on face book. she ask me . are you dumping me? i never answered. does that really matter now? shouldn;t of I answered on spot? or it’s irrevalant? at last conversation facebook. she told me, i don’t want to be your friend. I said oh wow really that’s nice. few minutes later I wrote her. You don’t know me well enough to really know me. i also told her, you can’t hurt me, you could call me things. you can do what you want. you can’t hurt me. i’ll be here anyway. when she told me i have to accept it, later told her, you were rude at times something like that can’t remember. and after her told her the part bout you can’t hurt me. talked around month and a half before meeting in person.

    confused guy.

  31. Scott 5 September 2011 at 10:35 pm Permalink

    What’s up I have a situation where me and my ex have dated for
    Two years. I was her first everything. We just signed a lease together and I’m kinda in a situation where I can’t afford it by myself, and really need her there to help. I love her to death she won’t tell me personally why we broke up but she told her friends that I was controlling. Her best friend is a guy who’s been close for 6 years and he has always had something for her. They hang out alot and if tried telling her I didn’t approve of it. I’m guessing why that’s why we broke up. She told me the day before she wants me forever. Now she says she just wants to be friends. So what should I do? Be friends with benefits or just cut her out entirely? I treated her like h
    A queen, I did the best I possibly could in every aspect I think She just got spoiled to be honest also. Its only been two weeks and she didn’t Contact me once at all. Til I got back from Miami. Then she told me about the Whole friends thing. Thank you there is much more to this story!

  32. Jeremy 6 September 2011 at 7:19 am Permalink

    Im 19 have a 6 month old baby boy his name is Tanner. My baby momma and I just broke up and think she is realy dead serious about it this time we have broke up about 4 times and we always get back together within a week or 2 one time we did have a big break but mostly just a 2 weed break up period. But she tells me she is tired of the little fights that we have almost everyday and not bein able to go out and hang with her friends…I have no problem with her hanging with her friends but she thinks its alright to hangout with her ex fuck buddys..But its mostly the fighting we have everyday its always about something stupid. But anyways I was reading at the top oif the page and it was saying to not have any contact with your ex for a while well I have a child with her and thats kinda hard? I just need some real good advive.

    • Nick 15 September 2011 at 3:56 am Permalink

      I have a very similar situation to you Jeremy, my girl broke up with me after four and a half years because I was controlling and I also have a child with her so I can’t exactly just stop talking to her, it really sucks, so if anyone is listening Jeremy and I could use some help

  33. Skyler 18 September 2011 at 12:57 am Permalink

    My ex and I broke up after a strong 8 months. When I say strong I mean very intimate most of the time and always being with each other. We had rough arguments that tended to break us down. She says she doesn’t want me that way anymore and she just wants me to be her friend, she wants her “freedom” and she wants to be single. She said she plans on being single for a long time. I find that very difficult. But there’s a lot more to it and I won’t go in to detail. But I’m not sure what I’m dealing with here. I want to re-kindle that flame we once had but it really seems like she doesn’t. But also she always says “I don’t know” to most things. She doesn’t know if we’ll be together again and she doesn’t know if she still loves me, which I think she does. I think she’s never been loved like that before and she’s scared.

  34. john 20 September 2011 at 4:27 pm Permalink

    i was seeing my ex for 2 years , we had a kid together and i thought she was the one…but i started going out with mates , cheated on her several times . i told her everything , and i also told her that i want to marry her once i finish uni … she needed time to think about it and i gave her 1 month. she called one night during our break and said she hates me and is seeing another man also that i cant see my kid anymore …im really hurting right now , i want her back and willing to do whatever it takes to make it how it used to be ..what do i do ???

  35. Cheyne 23 September 2011 at 3:56 am Permalink

    Ok, so im not sure if i’ve gone the right way about this. But 5 weeks ago my girlfriend ended a 2 and a half year relationship with me, i found out it was because she still had feelings for a prior ex that were unresolved, he didnt take her back, but now shes dating other guys now. I must admit during the last months of the relationship, i wasnt the perfect boyfriend and fell back into old habits, neglected her etc. I would have changed for good knowing that this would have impended a breakup, but she never gave me another chance. Ive been in past relationships and i had taken this the hardest because i never got any closure from it. I tried begging, pleading with her, and it’s made me look even weaker and pathetic.

    I took it so hard when i found out about her dating so soon that i let it affect my career and ultimately lost my job. Now as much as i deeply feel love for her, regret, sadness and jealousy…i messaged her and told her i bear no resentment to her choices, that i respect them and that i want to salvage just the friendship part of what we shared.

    despite what i messaged her being completely untrue of how i really feel atm. I plan on just playing it cool, focusing on getting my life back on track, throwing myself into a new job and keeping active like going to the gym and toning up. Trust me, keeping active and fit is fundamental, we all know your body releases the hormones that suppresses our sad state.

    Until then, ill keep her out of mind, worst thing is to keep hoping, but as long as you know you’ve set yourself up for your ex to potentially fall back in your arms, you can get that self-closure of knowing you’ve tried your best. And it sounds hard now, but once you reach a higher level of yourself, mentally and physically…chances are you will end up with someone better than your ex.

    So anyway, whatever you do… never bring up the breakup issue if you start hanging out as friends. If its casually hanging out (not a date), check your phone infront of her often, do not ignore her however. You wont come off rude, but it will give her the impression that maybe another girl is dating/chatting to you.

    Also never ask how things are going with her new guy if shes seeing someone, it will only cause you jealousy and hurt as well as making you look interested about it. This will also give you the right to say “none of your business” if she asks the same question.

    Play it cool, play hard to get, but keep in mind stay genuine and polite.

  36. CN 1 November 2011 at 2:56 pm Permalink

    i was with my ex wife for 6 years she was 18 I was 23 we moved in together after 6 months and were pretty much inseparable for the whole time. She started drifting slowly around may but nothing to drastic then in August a week before we moved to Vegas became very distant. Like an idiot I still moved to Vegas with her and 4 days later she told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore so I drove home. She filed for divorce a month later and now 2 months later is dating someone new and felt the need to tell me. She is constantly blaming me for everything and telling me to just hurry up the divorce process. I know deep down she still has to have feelings because nobody can just shut down after 2 months. I really want her back and knowing that some douche bag has his hands on my wife is excruciating.

  37. Brian 9 November 2011 at 5:04 am Permalink

    My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We tried to do the long distance thing since i am deployed. During the deployment, she said it was hard to trust me over here, but she wanted to make it work. She said she will never love someone as much as she loves me. She has a daughter and i got close to her daughter. She was going through my stuff and found other girls trying to talk to me. Even though i was not trying to talk to them. But she said she cannot trust me anymore. She told me just after 2 months that she dont love me anymore. She only cares about my well-being while i am over here. She still answers sometimes when i call, but usually always has to go or is doing something. She is going out and partying a little bit. She said she has went out like 4 times since i been gone. She is already posting pictures of her with other guys. She said she hasnt moved on yet but maybe she will. I get back and really want to see her in about 2 months. But she dont know if she will see me or not. I love her more than anything and think about her all the time. I have done little things to try to make her think of the good times, but she said she dont feel that way anymore. I need some advice on what to do. Is there anyway that i will have a chance again or should i just move on and leave her alone. I know i can treat her with all the respect and love she deserves. We have done so much in life toghether.

  38. Hero No More 11 November 2011 at 5:43 pm Permalink

    I have been thinking of the ‘short letter’ you have mentioned in one of your videos. Actually, I have come across variations of that throughout the net. But basically, it shares the same concise content. And I understand that psychology has a lot to do with its success.
    Correct me if I’m wrong but the greatest obstacle to it’s effectiveness seems to be Indifference.
    It’s the thing I fear most. I consider it to be the dead end of all attempts at reconciliation. And because of that, I’ve gone into reading (and thinking) a lot more into a possible modification of that letter.
    I’m no psychologist but I know that every breakup situation is unique. This letter would probably be my last shot and I sincerely want it to count.
    So if you would permit, I’d like to share with you some of my insights on this. I value your opinion highly.

  39. Brent 14 November 2011 at 6:00 pm Permalink

    My ex and I were together for 7 years. I had a knee surgery and developed a problem with pain killers. I am now almost two months clean and am not making any head way with her. We signed a lease together in July, and we have to live together until then. It’s extremely hard living with her, especially when she brings friends (other guys) over to the house when I’m here. We were engaged 2 years ago but she broke it off when she found out about my addiction. We’re living in a new town and I have no friends here, and to top it off am unable to find a job so going out meeting people is very difficult. This girl is the woman I want to marry, and I’m going crazy without her. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thank you

  40. Jack Roberts 16 November 2011 at 9:50 am Permalink

    Okay, i moved abroad about a month ago, and me and her was together for a few months bugt she new the score before we even talked about getting together! She split up with me, because she claimes she was still in love with her ex. I love the girl, and i want her to want me.. Ive cut of contact, but i feel like its too late to do the stuff above because she split up a couple of weeks ago, and i been talking to her and all since. Shes got to the point of ignoring me.. suggestions please?!
    I wish i found this site ages ago, because she is truelyy something special!
    Should i carry on with the above? Since ive already, quit smoking, started working out and im moving back quite soon anyway..
    Thanks for reading :)

  41. Sasho 16 November 2011 at 9:27 pm Permalink

    Hi Everyone,

    I hope you can help me after you read my story.

    With my ex-girlfriend we were 2 and a half years together, and now we are seperated for two mounts. After serial intensed conversation between us she told me that she need time for her, to figure out what she want, and to clear things in her mind, just to disconect from everything. She values me very much because we passed together trough “fire and water” and we still did hold togheter. But I think that is one of the fundamental problems that lead to here. When we met we were like so inlove in each other, we did some crazy things, and we were soo free, even people on the street were stoping us to admire our love and happines, but after one year there were some problems not between us but in life, common things – dayly problems, health problems, financial problem and so one. I never changed my mind and behavior to her, I was the same, always there for her and helpfull in every situation, I’ve continued to be passioned to her in every situation. From one site we both were unhap
    py about the arousin problems & not being able to consume our relationship fully, but I personaly don’t regred (and she said the same) for the things that hapened, because that way we were able to know each other better in every situation, not just when there’s fun or happy moment. From that moment on I realised taht this person is someone worth giving my love to, that I can trust her & that we can achive everithing we want with no borders. Things were geting serious between us, but than she got colder to me, she reduced doing things to me that I like, she almost stoped giving me presents and making me surprises. And I did everythin for her. Because of the problems that we had in life I wanted to make her happy & not only think about problems all the time, I did some surprises for her, I tried to fulfill her dreams and do all kind of things. She was happy about everything I did but she didn’t responde back to me the same way she used to. The other problem is when she met me
    she was just finishig a 7 year relationship with her ex. And at that time of her life she didn’t want enything seious, she just wanted to have fun and enjoy life, cause she didn’t had the chance to do it earlier. From the begining she didn’t want anything serious with me, but after she saw that I’m vorth it, that I’m decent, not superficial and that she can rely on me, she didn’t want to lose me (but at the same time she never wanted anythig more serious, but it just hapened). I just met her in the wrong time of her life when she wasn’t ready for a new complete relationship. Since we are seperated I’ve made a balane of the things we both done for each other. I realised that I was “stifle” to her & that pushed her away from me, and all the other mistakes I did, I know she did mistakes to. I love her more that anything, maybe too much & I did most of the mistakes that you shouldn’t do when you brake up (things that you mention in your presentation – I cryed, I beged her, told
    her that I had change & I wanna second chance etc.). I realised that she realy needs time, and nothing I do won’t make things better cause she dosent respond to anything I do. She’s just colder to me, reserved, calls me like one time a week, we barely kiss (but it’s not the same like before, its just like putting your lips to another). She wants to walk her dogs with me together or watch a movie sometimes, comes at my place, but never sleepover. She told me that she still loves me, but don’t know if we can be together again. When we were together we did everything, we even started buying convenient things for my home, so we can enjoy things better. She’s the only person that I met so far that I can speak with and realy listen to each other, we have so much things together, same taste for almost everithing & much more, that makes me think that I can be realy happy with her & I want to spend my life with her (Once she told me the same – That she sees her together with me for a
    ll life).

    Recently i realised that whatever happend between us I must act normal, and don’t show how much I miss her, or give away my emotions, that if I love her I must realy give her space & let time show if we are ment to be together (“if you realy love a bird let it flyawy if it wants, if it loves you it will come back”). I don’t want her to give me another chance, I want to start a new begining with her, without leting previous problem in our life (not to forget them, just to benefit from the conclusions that we made & move forward). I also thought about if she ever loved me or feels anything about me she must try to get me back & give me a reason to be together again. I think I’ve done enough, even more than enough to show her how I feel & what kind of a guy I am (I’m tired to fill a glass that’s already full), from now on it’s her move & she needs do deside what she wants.

    At the beginig I was depressed, wanted even to throw my life away, but now I’m muck calmer after I realised many thing. I try to spend more times with friends and with miself, do stuffs that I like & it turns out great.

    Since then she caled me to go out, or to come to me to watch a movie, two weeks ago we even had sex (for the first time since we broke up), but it wasn’t the same, she wasn’t shure if she wanted it was weird.

    Today we went on a movie. When I took her from her place, we kissed but again just like putting you lips to another, after the movie we walked home, we laught, we even talked sex jokes, and I felt she notising me different, like before, she make me even a copliment, I acted normal and stady without giving my emotions & I felt good. Afted I walked her back we kissed again the same way.

    Is ther anything else I can do to get her back, how can I get her want me, how to push her emotional trigers?

    I’ll be glad to hear your oppinion and your advice because the whole waiting kills me.

    Thanks in forward & Kind regards

  42. Chris 30 November 2011 at 5:19 pm Permalink

    My ex and I broke up 1 month ago. We had been together for 11 months. I know it look short for you guys, but I do loves her very much. Previously I was single for many years as I am afraid of getting hurt again like now.

    We got to know each other on a website, exchange contact numbers and MSN emails. We had a good time chatting and SMSing each other everyday till one day, we decided to meet up for a drink. At this moment, I have a slight feeling for her but I did not express it out as I do not want to get hurt like I used to or to scare her away.

    After the meet up, we still SMSing each other and meet up for drinks. Our feelings have grown stronger and we start our relationship not long later. Before we start the relationship, I was kind of hesitating as I was scare of getting hurt. But she has given me the assurance of this relationship will last long. And I decide to believe her. I’ve got shock of my life when she has proven to me by showering me care and love that none of my previous ex has done for me. From there, the ‘wall’ in my heart has melted and I’ve opened up for her. From there, I have showered her will all my love and gifts

    To my understanding is that every relationship definitely there will be quarrels. The more we quarrel, the more of her energy being drained out but not for me because I love her very much. Most of the time, I make it up after the quarrel.

    There is 1 day (which is 1 month ago), we had a bad day at our own work place. Both of us is very moody and is like going to explode anytime soon. We suppose to meet up and to pass some stuff to her. After passed those stuff to her, I walk off as I was pissed (I admit is my fault for doing that). Few minutes later, I decided to walk her home. During the journey to her house, we have not spoken to each other until we sat down at a bench that near house. We look at each other but we did not say anything. Out of the sudden, she says ‘Let’s give it a break’. I was shock to listen to this. I have never expected this to come. Then I started my denial emotion and asked why? What happen?

    I have tried to begged, plead and apologize to her. She has rejected me straight to my face and says that she has no more feels for me and the relationship has stagnant. I started to cry and begged again but no avail. From that moment, I feel my heart has shattered instead of heartbroken as I have done some things that I have not done for all of my previous ex. I did all of my first time with her.

    For your information, I do believe in horoscopes. She is a Gemini. She has a dual personality. She can be very passionate to you but next moment, she can let u go just like a ‘snap’.

    I would like to get her back to me as I know that I still love her very much and I miss her a lot. I would really need advice or any tactics to get her back to my life. At this moment, if I don’t contact her, I am scare of losing her. I am still at the stage of denial and I still SMSing her once in a while. But her reply is slow and she hardly replied me.

    I really wanted to get her back to my life very badly. Please help.

    • Chris 1 December 2011 at 3:05 pm Permalink

      I would like to add 1 more thing. Now she is seeing someone who is much younger than me and has lots of free time to accompany her. I’m sorry to say this but I feel like I’m a loser and a failure. I am totally lost.

      Pls help.

  43. brain 8 December 2011 at 2:13 pm Permalink

    hi there i need some help really bad i broke up with my ex because she had feelings for her ex and now i regret my desicion, she is seeing some one else and we dont make any contact what should i do please help me

  44. phoenix 10 December 2011 at 6:55 am Permalink

    only reading your info Ashley is keeping me sane right now!!!! i’m personally going nuts otherwise. you’re like a sister! :)

  45. tyler 3 January 2012 at 5:33 pm Permalink

    So I have a real messed up situation that I have never encountered before. my ex broke up with me saying that she wasn’t over ex that she dated for 7 months . she said this about 2.5 months after they broke up, I have now waited a month and a bit since that’s what we agreed on. she has told me many times that she is still interested in me and keeps talking about a next time but whenever I ask her what she is up to she is always busy (sometime true sometimes not) I have only asked twice after the breakup which was a good months ago. after texting her I have figured out that she broke up with me do she wouldn’t push me away with her issues (ex bf) but I’m feeling that I am being pushed away without her. I have a new job now and have accomplished a few things such as mountain climbing. I guess I’m just asking your opinion on the situation and what I can do to get her back?

  46. Thom 25 February 2012 at 6:59 am Permalink

    Long story short, wife cheated on me again so i left. Met what i thought was the greatest girl in the world in july. I was in a bad financial sitution but she didn’t care. Now i later found out i was only supposed to be a one nite stand but she said she fell in love with me cause i told her everything that first nite. So we started a relationship, however when the ex found out she made trouble and me and the girlfriend started breakin up every other weekend. We went from casual to dating to talkin about marriage and movin in to casual again. Then on a wednesday she invites me over and we have a great nite, but she tells me she is confused. We argue on friday and saturday i see her take another man home, then two weeks after that she tells me she is living with someone now and not to communicate with her. Before after everytime she would break up with me she begged me to stay in communcation with her, but now she doesn’t. Has anyone else been thru this and towards the end she said she wasn’t with anyone when we were together, but what happened when we weren’t together was none of my business. Was i being used cause she was loney?

  47. Manuel 15 March 2012 at 3:25 am Permalink

    My ex-girlfiend broke up with me because she said that i treated her like she was my b****.I dont see why she say something like that.I’ll never treat her like that.She wouldn’t even listen to me.She didnt tell me thats why we broke up for.Then later my friend told me that she said that.I thought why woulnd’t she of told me that.She had me thinking that the reason that we broke up is that i called her B****.A couple days ago i saw her at the store and went up to her.She wasn’t mad at me anymore.I apologized to her.And told it’s to late for apologizes.But , i cant get her off my mind.I just want her back.I’ll do anything just to get her back.Im just going crazy thinking about her.

  48. Manuel 15 March 2012 at 3:39 am Permalink

    i hope she hasnt found another guy.i ant the feelings type of guy.to be saying this but” i never knew what i had till it left”

  49. arvind 16 March 2012 at 9:51 pm Permalink

    hi, Actually my gf breakup with me before 2 week,Initally she was not ready to tell to me anything but once i found a SIM card to her cell by that she talks to some one, thats why i asked to her what is this and why do you hide it to me than she told me she talked to with one boy and she likes to talk to him, then i abused her very badly after that she give me back all of gifts and etc and told me that she dont want to live with me. then also i called her and say to her come back but she say that now we can be only friend and i also talk to with the same guys to whom i did, then also i talked to her some times but i felt she was totally changed and ignoring me so i told her that now i dont want to be with you and dont call me and delete me to your facebook also then she do the same and since last 8 days she havnt call me. now i am very upsat and want to get her back really i love her too much. please suggest me what should i do.

  50. Eric 17 April 2012 at 2:33 pm Permalink

    Me and my girl just got off the phone. I’ve never been good with romance or words and I admitted that to her a while ago. She’s the love of my life and I need her back. The breakup literally happened half and hour ago what should I do? I am far from being the hot guy or rich I’m just an average American. I already miss her and I know I’m gonna mess it up without lots of help. I see her everyday and she threatened to go with my best friend who she sees every day too. I need immediate help because if she goes then thats the end of it. I’m truly in love with her. HELP!!

  51. Hero No More 2 May 2012 at 11:52 pm Permalink

    It happened. My ex came back to me after a few months. The first time she texted me after a long while, I was civil. I answered her questions sufficiently (unrelated to our relationship) and I made no reference to our past or my feelings. Soon enough, she was contacting me more and more. I’m playing it cool though, because I want our previous problems to be resolved first and to fully understand why we broke up in the first place. Otherwise, we might just end up where we left off – a mess.
    To the broken hearts out there, there may still be hope. I’m sharing to you my experience because I know how it felt to be helpless in that dark place. I have posted here months back and now I’m posting again to tell what I did hoping it would give you some comfort and that there may be a light at the end of that dark tunnel you are in.
    First, observe No Contact. This really messes with their minds as they are curious to why you disappeared suddenly and completely. She told me she started wondering about me a month after our last ‘conversation’. Of course, I didn’t know this at the time so I let a lot of time pass. I actually made a letter, but after doing a dozen revisions, I decided not to give it.
    Second, I worked out. I worked on myself and did activities that improved my physique. Activities like these will help you in your time of pain because your body releases endorphins afterward. These hormones make you happy and I would attest that after every workout, I felt less and less sad. By the time she saw me again, she had a hard time hiding her reaction. She was attracted and she can’t keep her hands off me during our successive meetings.
    As I said, I played it cool the first time we met again. I let her do the talking and soon enough, she told me what I wanted to hear..after all this time.
    So guys, dig deep and stay the course. You might still get the love of your life back.

    Also,there is a secret you will find as you near the end of the tunnel. But to spoil it here and now will ruin your journey.

  52. mohammed 10 November 2012 at 7:18 am Permalink

    i can’t live without my wife ;living together since four years;in the end she gone without any reason;we lived so so happy;i m other person now;i need help;thnx

  53. JD 3 April 2013 at 4:47 am Permalink

    Hi there I Broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago we had been together for about 18 months it was mainly her decision because she just said that she wasn’t ready for a relationship so I just said ok and we broke up. At first out relationship was too good to be true we was perfect together then as time went on we started to see too much of each other and we started arguing and something felt like it was missing. I found the break up really hard as its my first serious one she was okay because she’s bin there before but I would do anything to get her back and prove that I can make her happy again please will someone help me and talk some advice?

  54. Andrew 6 April 2013 at 4:35 pm Permalink

    So my ex and I were sorta pressured into a relationship by our friends, but after I started to actually have intimate feelings with her, she said its better to be friends and that I might break her heart. At school she kinda ignores me, and when I crack jokes, she gives me a weird look and looks away. I really enjoy being around her, but I’m mot smothering her, maybe a text or two a week, but she’s brushing me off. Any help?

  55. moes 1 July 2013 at 1:20 pm Permalink

    me and my girl we just broke like a week ago she said that she want some space.the problem we never fight before or after,and im not saying that i didn’t do something wrong,cuz we were both bazy a,and i feel it was my fault to not communicate like i should.so i didn’t talk to her for about a week cuz she went out of the town for family emergency.i try to give her the space she want,and after she come back she was asking question,how my doing?and i was cool and smiling and i said i`m good,than she told me that she found a place ,my answer was i did too.than she ask me,where at and she smiled at me.than she told me where is her new place at.and start telling me about our dog doing funny stuff,and when she told him daddy’s home he go to the door.and she told me funny stuff that happened with her family this pass week.did i mention that we still have 1 month living together before everyone moved out.and she said we can share the dog after we moved out.im not sure whats going on right now is this a signs that she still want see me doing what i should do ,or she just want to be friends,or any hope in this situation?plz help me here im confused

  56. kelly 25 July 2013 at 5:40 pm Permalink

    I need help

  57. Benita 9 August 2013 at 12:48 am Permalink

    Well about 2 years ago I started noticing the changes in her. Without reason or rhyme they just started happening. Well I tried to talk with her about things and I asked her why she was acting the way she was. Her response was to me was always I’m not acting strange im just tired from work. Ya, if I only knew then what I know now I would have look for help that would put a stop to all this at a point, I never knew she was having an affair with a co-worker, I later found out. Well, I actually found this out through confronting her over and over again as I had suspected it. She was just acting to out of normal and when she started spending less time with the kids, I drew a line there. I had to know what was going on. We got in a huge fight that night and she finally told me what was going on and left the house to go and be with Brian, her co-worker. This just tore a hole through our family. She actually just left the kids and me and walked out the door. My heart feel out of my chest and my stomach went in knots. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or think straight. I had to take care of the kids, so I held the family together as best I could. I went to my preacher and told him what was happening in hopes that he could pray for us and hopefully get her back. After waiting 3 months I decided that it was not working and I searched out other alternative ways of getting her back. During this point I was served with divorce papers. You have never experienced the lack of having a reason to live in life. I wanted to just believe that I didn’t ever get served with them. I just wanted to believe that it was just a dream. My mind could not handle the fact that she actually wanted a divorce from me after all the years together and all over this jacka** Brian. Well, as anyone else would have done I tried to stall, hoping to find another way out of this. Perhaps one where we could be together and be a family once again. Without Brian in the way of our love.This is where i got into allot of stuff I didn’t even understand, but it all ended the same way. Needed more spells, more money, and nothing ever worked like these so called spell casters, physics, mediums, wicca’s, pagans, egyptian magic spells, or anyone else said. Literally I spent over 8,000 on spells in just 6 months. Let me help you out there, the people reading this, I have literally tried almost every spell caster out there and they all just took my money and made promises that they could not keep. 8,000 dollars worth of broken promises and lies. In all honesty its not even about the money. I would gladly give any amount of money to have my love back, but it was about the empty hopes and promises. The constant torture of thinking she would come back and didn’t. The emotional roller coaster that these people put me through should be against the law. At one point I almost committed suicide. Had it not been for the kids being there I would have and would not have thought twice about it. Then with the last bit of dignity that I had I turned to my old class mate who gave me an email address of a spell caster on templeoflove1 AT yahoo com who could help me, I didn’t have hardly any money left at this point and had lost about all hope in ever getting tanny back.

  58. ken 16 October 2013 at 7:10 pm Permalink

    Im still stuck trying to figure out my ex’s mind we been together over a year and I just don’t know the break up came out of no where the day after she found out she was moving. And since I haven’t spoken with her and she hasn’t even text me once

  59. Brian 4 May 2014 at 11:20 pm Permalink

    I met my girl online we have been together four times we have great sexual chemistry and got along too. We talked on phone for two weeks before we got together and it was amazing when we met in person. She is involved in a custody battle to get her kids back from her ex husband. Last time we were together was a week ago Weds but than she said she couldn’t see me for a while because of the custody thing. I had told her that I had taken myself off that site because of how I felt about her. This was after she had used the “L” word first. Now I find out that she had kept herself on that same site and that she never took herself off. That really hurt me alot. She will only communicate by text to me and not answer her phone. She texted me that she doe not know if she is right for me and does not wanna commit how does one change their feelings in less than a week? She texts me and says she still cares for me but doesn’t use the “L” word any more ..What can I do to get a second chance?

  60. John Wynings 6 April 2015 at 8:20 am Permalink

    Hey ? I broke up with my girl friend an tryed working things out the more here her around other guy I freak out she tell me nothing going on I texted none stop for days she told she thinking about like mybe to fix it but I think she with this one guy how do I do this ? Should I do the no contact an see what happens ?

    • Ashley Kay 21 April 2015 at 11:53 pm Permalink

      definitely go NC. if you hang around while she is with this other guy she won’t choose especially if she knows she can easily ask for you

  61. Jonathan 1 November 2015 at 8:08 am Permalink

    Hello, im in a tough time with my my soulmate she says shes going to throw out all my stuff but she kept my collectable. I have a history of Suicidal actions and ive scared her a lot. many times I’ve been overcome by my emotions and done the unthinkable but I have never hurt her physically. I have found that a mental problems and the reason we are in such a predicament is due to the many abnormal actions I have displayed and im at the point where she believes im an evil manipulative person. but in all honesty I just want her to understand that im not myself sometimes and in no means do my mistakes define how much I care about her. she says that shes moving on and im coming to a point where I plan to take my own life in the realization that well never be happy together and everything ive done to her is because im truly evil but yet im not sure why I do such things I feel like im not evil because I know for sure there aren’t many people as loving and forgiving as me. but she seems to believe otherwise that everthing ive ever done was to get my way and that I never truly cared for her or loved her at all.

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