Sometimes I get concerned emails saying “I think I’ve screwed up too much and did everything wrong you have mentioned… can I still get my ex back? They’re with someone else and … etc”
First of all, please DON’T blame yourself. Probably as much as 80%-90% of people who want their ex back make these mistakes. That is OK because unless you looked into this sort of thing prior to breaking up, your mistakes will seem like the “only” option at the time.
If you’re unclear what sort of mistakes I’m talking about, some examples would be:
- Drunk dialling
- Text message terrorism
- Begging and crying at your ex to take you back
- Professing your undying love over and over
- Apologizing even though you’re not sure what you did wrong
etc
These sort of behaviour does have the tendency to push the ex away because they’re usually shocked by the behaviour and feel “uncomfortable” under the pressure of your requests.
Often they will distance themselves further and/or start seeing someone new to “forget about you”.
Terrible I know!
But that’s only what happens in the beginning… for almost everyone.
It is important to note that if you have made these mistakes, in order to COUNTER-ACT it, you must distance yourself too!
If a crazy person came up to you and started to freak you out, you’ll want them to go away initally… or you’ll want to get away.
The next day, you see them again you’ll instantly want to recoil, but they leave you alone. Ok, you’re still feeling cautious and uncertain about them, you hurry past again.
You see them again every day for the next 10 days, they leave you alone, but not only that you see them talking normally with OTHER PEOPLE (respectable people), and you are curious at first, then you get REALLY curious.
Especially if that inital “crazy” person starts to become “popular”, meaning everyone wants to talk to them and they’re always laughing and smiling!
Next time you walk past them and they come up to you, you might not want to run away anymore. You might even want to go up and talk to THEM because you’re so curious why they’re suddenly so normal while 10 days ago they were acting completely crazy.
Ok this is just an example I threw together but you get the point. Clearly it will be slightly different with your ex because they have a history with you and a lot more is linked or associated with seeing/talking to you.
But you see with TIME and you ACTING THE RIGHT WAY, they will come around… eventually.
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