Ashley here,

I recently got this question on my Facebook wall:

Pi Thar asks:
“How can I make my ex girlfriend want to return to me after she has moved on with another guy??????”

Great question Pi!

And sadly, it’s much TOO common nowadays.

Look, the truth is most women will ONLY comfortably leave a man when she has another guy “waiting” on the sidelines.

Unless your woman is super independent and confident, the truth is most women just don’t like to be alone.

Now, that may sound like bad news for you, but let’s look at things from HER point of view…

1. If she left you, then that tells me that she wasn’t getting her most important needs met.

2. Most women have orbiters (male friends who hang around them) who will happily take over the role of comforting her and giving her what she wants.

If she has jumped ship – from you to new guy rather quickly – then often it’s because this new guy simply came along at the right time…

It doesn’t mean her feelings for him will LAST.

Actually, most rebounds are short-lived for a reason. The main purpose of a rebound boyfriend is often to comfort a woman while she goes through a very difficult transition in her life.

While you are someone who constantly argues with her or makes her unhappy, this new guy is the exact opposite of that.

HE understands her…
HE listens to her…
HE gives her the attention and affection she needs…

It’s like she got herself a new blanket to comfort herself with at night because the old one were full of holes, had a funky smell and resembled a dead animal on the side of the road…

Ok that may be a tad exaggerated…

Anyway, my point is, this new guy is her way of COPING with her emotional needs and unhappiness.

Now, the GOOD news…

You had her heart once,
She loved YOU and YOU only,
She was loyal to only YOU at one point in her life.

And women’s emotional memories are SHARP as a whistle.

We remember EVERYTHING.. especially when there are emotions attached to the memory.

The good news is, you don’t need to RECREATE completely new emotions and new connections between you and her.

It is ALREADY there in her memory.

Your job is simply to TAP into it and UNLEASH it back to the present…

You know how women get teary eyed and all emotional after watching romantic movies, and guys are often dragged to see these movies and end up sitting there bored?

It’s because women put THEMSELVES into the characters of the movie.

We imagine what it would feel like to BE the girl who gets the guy, or to BE the girl who gets her heart broken, or BE the girl who gets romanced and swept away by that charming guy on the screen.

We see these images and we really feel it in our hearts, it could be us.

Guys often complain that women SAY this is what we want, but when it is actually presented to us by a real guy, we aren’t exactly falling all over him.

Welllll….

Remember, CONTEXT and the LEAD UP to a great romantic gesture is just as important as the romantic gesture itself.

For women, it’s all about playing a part in a story and going on an adventure.

Trust me, these are the things that TURN US ON.

Okay, so how can you use this to STEAL her back from this new “rebound” guy who has temporarily stolen her attention away from you?

Do you REALLY want to know…

Are you sure?

…

Okay I’ll stop teasing..

**********************************
… You Tell Her a New Story About You
**********************************

Did I mention that women love story, drama and adventure? Well there, I’ve said it again. We LOVE that stuff.

So, imagine you’re playing part in a movie. Looking at your life now… are you the lead character or are you a secondary character?

In other words, do you feel like you’re in charge or that someone or something else is in charge of you?

And is this life looking exciting? .. Or a bit dull?

Get clear on what you’re striving towards and what your greater goals are.

Women want to see a man with ambitions and a vision for the future. They want to know that if they choose this man, this man is capable of figuring out problems and also can look after her.

The first thing you do is:

* Be cool and confident around her
* Be completely okay that she is seeing someone else
* Show off your achievements/your vision
* Direct her instead of allow her to direct you

You get her to seek YOU for attention, approval, ideas, support etc

…by demonstrating that you are someone who is outside the “problem”.

You’re the guy who makes her laugh, who is passionate and excited about the future, who cares about the people around him, who knows what he wants and what his boundaries are, the guy other women want to date and be with… you’re a “catch”.

You’re not going to act like a supportive boyfriend who listens to all her problems… especially when she has the rebound guy for that (good for him?)

No, you’re the guy who offers something exciting, fun and SEXY in her mundane, dull and problem-ridden life!

And who knows her better than you?!

So, these are FORBIDDEN:
* Begging
* Crying
* Getting emotional
* Losing your temper

(If you do these now, start and STAY in No Contact until you ARE the person I mentioned above)

And these are also forbidden:

* Doing everything she asks you to do like a love sick puppy dog
* Answering her calls at all hours of the day and night
* Sending her love letters or love texts
* Supporting her when she has a guy who is ALSO supporting her … Come on, why are you doing this to yourself?!

And please, don’t wait for her to make up her mind about who she wants to be with, make it FOR her!

You might want to read that last point again…

Do NOT act like her emotionally supportive boyfriend when she is with ANOTHER GUY!

And if she can’t decide who to be with, don’t even WAIT for her to make up her mind, MAKE IT FOR HER!

Remember, direct her don’t allow her to direct you.

Okay, so what are you waiting for?

Start doing something RIGHT NOW.

Whether it’s writing down your goals…
Hitting the gym…
Deleting that love letter you’ve been wanting to send…
Whatever it is, start doing it!

Okay, I’ll be back with more…

Best wishes!
Ashley

P.S.

Want to ask a question like Pi?
Just “LIKE” my Facebook page and post your question on here : http://www.facebook.com/ashleyk.advice

You asked, I answered. Here’s the hot questions I cover in this awesome video:

• How to get your ex to initiate contact when in No Contact
• The biggest MYTH about your ex and why it could be KILLING your progress
• Why it is a GOOD thing if your ex have blocked you from social media sites (Facebook)
• Why your ex still CARES about you!
• How to decide if it’s worth going back with your ex or moving on?
• If no contact doesn’t work, should you try to be friends?
• Why you could be using No Contact the wrong way without even knowing!
• Why being “just friends” doesn’t work and what to do instead

If you want a step by step system that will take you from A-Z to reunite with your ex.. you can download my program here.

These are just some of the things you’ll discover in this video! It’s a bit longer than my usual ones (30+ minutes) so get a cup of coffee and get comfortable

Oh, and there’s a bit of a surprise at the end too! I couldn’t resist…

Let me know what you think,

Ashley

P.S.

Oh, and if you’d like to know what website I’m talking about in the video, Click Here.

In this video, I break down what to do if you’re currently friends with your ex but would like more then that.

This video will help you learn the proper things/topic to tell your ex during your first initial contact after going on NC (no contact)

In this video I reveal 3 things that most people are NOT doing when they want their ex back.. the steps to winning your ex back is actually fairly basic (revealed in this video and part 2 of this video). These are things most people don’t know about OR don’t know how to do correctly! It’s all here so pay attention!

To Watch Part 2 of This Video Click Here

(Take Quiz First To Get a Personal Evaluation Of Your Situation)

1st Thing You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back

Going through any break up will be difficult so I want to make it as easy for you as possible.

First of all, you need to know that what you may have done so far to get your ex back is simply NOT effective.

This is because you’re likely to be driven by EMOTIONAL wants and desires.

When you’re emotional, you tend to exhibit a weakness that is simply not attractive to an ex partner.

Therefore if you’re a man and you’ve reverted to beta-like characteristic, this may be keeping your woman away from you.

And if you’re a woman, begging and pleading your man to come back will not be exactly attractive and appealing either.

2nd Thing You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back

Remove your ex partner’s resistance from you and the break up first, before attempting to try any sneaky attraction tactics to get him or her back.

Removing their resistance is about using No Contact or Limited Contact CORRECTLY! A lot of people struggle with this because they don’t understand how to do it effectively!

The question I get asked the most are:

“If I don’t contact my ex, how will they know I still care?”
“I feel No Contact would be hopeless as it seems they don’t care about me anymore. What if it doesn’t work?”
“How do I contact my ex after a break up? How can I get my ex to talk to me again?”
“I feel I’ve made too many mistakes already. Is it too late?”
“How do I know I still have a chance with my ex?”
“What if my ex is seeing someone else?”

I want to help you with all of these questions, through my blog (please have a look around and learn all you can) and through my free newsletter here. I also highly recommend you check out my complete guide to winning your ex back, The Ex Recovery System.

3rd Thing You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back

Re-attracting your ex partner is not exactly the same as attracting someone new. If you want to get your ex’s interest, you need to show him or her that you have being making some progress and have CHANGED since the break up.

This can be ANY change, as long as it’s not something you usually do. This will get an ex’s interest. Eg. if you’re usually a stay-at-home person, now is the time to go out and get active and social. And if you’re usually a social person, who parties a lot, instead of going out every weekend, why not take up a new hobby and devote some energy into that for a change.

Re-attraction is a huge topic on its own, here’s some places for you to get started!

• Women – Click Here on How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back.
• Men – Click Here on How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Once again, if you haven’t taken a look yet, please check out my video and part 2 of my video here:

To Watch Part 2 of This Video Click Here

(Take Quiz First To Get a Personal Evaluation Of Your Situation)

The Facebook report I sent you the other day was a hit and a lot of you are using it and seeing results!

Now, if you’ve started following the steps, and found your ex to have “blocked you”, “unfriended you” or started posting up pics of themselves with their new love interest, then instead of being sad and thinking it’s all doomed…

BE HAPPY about it.

Yep.

This is a CLEAR sign that they are BOTHERED by seeing you doing so well… and if they are bothered.. then they must CARE.

After all, if it was any other friend who was posting good things about themselves on Facebook, would they act hostile like this? Why would you act negative if it didn’t bother you?

If you tough it out through this “test” of theirs, you’ll see that they will contact you and things will turn around.

But you need to recognize when your ex is reaching out to you, and give them the benefit of the doubt.

It’s not easy for your ex to do that in the first place so if they happen to change their mind straight afterward or stop contacting, then it’s OKAY.

Your ex just needs TIME to absorb and take all this new change in!

Don’t RUSH!

Look, I know what it’s like when you can’t stop thinking about your ex, when you feel there’s a big deadline over your head, that you need to “Do something now”, to somehow get them back or you’ll lose them forever, or they’ll just forget about you.

I will tell you that in my system, the steps within are spaced out very methodically, so the tactics work the most effectively.

You need to know, WHEN it’s best to contact, WHEN it’s best to show interest and WHEN it’s best not to and WHEN to recognise “interest” on their end, or when it’s “something else”.

Being too hasty will make these tactics less effective.

So remember, if you feel “desperate” and on edge because you need to get him or her back quickly… then STOP.

Stop before you pick up your phone and call or text your ex. Stop and think about it before you send a letter or get too eager at the fact that your ex is talking to you and setting up “dates” with you.

Being too hasty will slow your progress or sometimes make you go backwards.

For Steps On What To Do, Click Here.

If you’re using Facebook, make sure you have this plan with you to help take you to the NEXT step.

I’ll be thinking of you,

Until then,

Ashley Kay

P.S.

Remember to use the Facebook tactic with this plan for faster results.

P.P.S.

Don’t have The Facebook Report I’m referring to here? Download it for FREE here.

1/3 of Americans have experienced a break up at least once in the last 10 years.

Those less than 35 are twice as likely to break up compared to those between 35 – 55, and 5 times as likely as those 55 and older!

It’s no surprise really that young people are break up “experts” and probably go through a break up on average once every year.

Interestingly, when asked who initiated a break up, 50% of women confessed to initiating the break up, while only 29% of men admitted they initiated the break up.

There is clearly a fuzzy line on “who” wanted to break up first.

Here’s why that is happening…

1. Unfortunately, men are conflict-avoiders for the most part.
2. Unfortunately, women wrongly assume breaking up with her man will “make him work harder to chase her”.
3. Men tend to be more complacent with staying in a relationship than women

So… if you’re a woman and YOU initiated the break up, BUT it was because you felt you were pushed into it for whatever reason, it’s probably because your man wanted it that way.

If you’re a man… well your woman probably couldn’t tolerate things as readily as you could.

Interestingly, one of the BIGGEST cause for break ups is NOT infidelity or lack of romance/passion.

It’s in fact: Lack of COMMUNICATION.

If you had solid communication with your man or your woman, you’d  be on the same page about your boundaries and expectations of the relationship.

What this means is, don’t wait months and months for conflict to build up and wonder why all of a sudden: “He is going out more and more”, or “She is flirting with other men” or “He hardly talks to me anymore.”

Communicate DAILY on:

• What your plans are (for the day, week, year etc)
• Where conflict arise (this is a debate, NOT a one-sided argument)
• What you find sexy about your partner
• What you’re currently excited about in your life

Don’t let the communicate twiddle to nothing because you don’t know what to talk about or you’re afraid you’ll upset him or her, or whatever other reason you may have.

Don’t become a break up statistic… Get Him Back… Get Her Back…

Ashley



Over the last few months I’ve been working hard on a new product that is going to completely revolutionize the dating game for women.

I’ve been frustrated and ANGRY because:

• Very few books go into DETAIL about what it takes to attract and KEEP a man for a woman in the dating world TODAY.
• Many books I have read give the most GENERAL advice ever. Their advice revolves around:
  • Positive thinking
  • How you need to love yourself first
• There is NO mention of: what to do to get a man to open up, how to get a man to commit, how to get a man really love you and keep loving you in a relationship, and many more!

I’ve also found that books and programs designed by men for women (although gives a very good insight into the male mind), are written with the following in mind:

• What YOU (the woman) need to change to accommodate a man.
• How to attract men doing what men THINK they want from a woman, not what they REALLY want. Often this means you’ll attract a lot of men that are WRONG for you.
• The strategies focus on what benefits you bring for the man, and little on what HE actually brings for you!

Therefore, it’s like the guy just has to sit back and watch while you do all the work to win him over!

I’m not saying these books aren’t worth having a look at, like I said, in terms of getting inside the male mind, they are excellent because they are written BY men.

However, when it comes to DATING and RELATIONSHIPS, take their advice in this area with some caution because they are male biased.

Like I said, men want to tell women what to do to accommodate them, what benefits them. Men “want” to be in charge.

I felt there is something missing in the market today that focuses on:

• Helping women become successful with men WHILE giving men what they want AND getting what YOU want! (most important)
• Understand the dynamic differences between men and women from a WOMAN’S point of view.. this is important because you ARE a woman, therefore it’s no use trying to do everything to please a man because you think you understand him.

  You need to understand how being a woman, understanding your role as a woman actually benefits both of you!

• The power you ALREADY have within you when it comes to men. This is stuff men don’t want you to know because to ADMIT to this is like turning their back on their own gender!

  The fact is although men may dominate the workplace and in certain social situations, women dominate men at home behind closed doors. HANDS DOWN. And because women have power in this area, a lot of them ABUSE it and use it in ways that actually harm them in relationships.

  I want to show you how to tap into this power if you’re not aware of it, and also how to properly use it if you have abused it in the past.

• How to completely get a man to open his soul to you and want to please you, spoil you and make you happy for as long as you want him!

This book titled: Make Him Yours is more than a How-to on: finding, attracting and keeping a man. It’s about understanding men, understanding YOURSELF (which often turns out to be 80% of the problem) and how to use both of this knowledge to have an extraordinary relationship with the man you want!

Whether you’re:

• Single and struggling to find Mr Right
• In a relationship that’s going downhill fast
• Want a man to commit to you
• In love with a man who doesn’t love you back
• Want to bring back the spark and connection with a man who has suddenly lost interest
• Want to finally attract and keep any man you desire

You’ll find this book invaluable and you won’t be able to do without it for any type of relationship with a man, now and in the future.

Check out Make Him Yours