A few years ago, I was in a relationship with a man I really loved and cared about. Our relationship was far from perfect and we argued all the time, but we loved each other and for a long time, I thought that was enough. I believed the rest would just work itself out.

Consciously, I thought things were going fine. We had issues but we were “working” on them.

Subconsciously however, a lot of underlying tension was brewing. This soon would erupt and cause fatal melt down to our relationship.

One unsuspecting day, we had another one of our arguments. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it. I was complaining about how he never wanted to do things with me, and never thought of me. Basically, I felt unappreciated.

I wanted him to talk to me and make me feel better.

He didn’t.

At first, I was calm. I wanted to just talk. Get the issue out in the open and not just sit on it.

He refused.

I got a little more upset. I couldn’t understand his reasoning here. What’s wrong with just talking about things?

I started calling him on the phone. He wouldn’t pick up. I tried 3 more times. He had disappeared.

That’s when something inside me clicked. I realized for the first time, that I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t want to be with someone who would rather run away and hide than deal with our problems.

This was the first time I seriously considered breaking up. Immediately after that, I thought about leaving the relationship for good.

At first, this made me feel empowered. I started recounting every argument we’d had, collecting justification for this newfound decision of mine. This made me feel good. I wasn’t hurting anymore.

My newfound strength lasted about 4 hours.

By the 5^th hour, I was missing him terribly again, asking myself why he was such an idiot and why I still loved him so much.

At this point, my decision had changed from being certain I wanted out – to saying things like… “If he calls me now and apologizes, I’ll forgive him.” Or “I’ll give him another day or so to make it up to me.” Or “I was being a little unreasonable, maybe I should call him and apologize. I do miss him.”

In the end I decided that I would wait for him to contact me. After all, I was the one who reached out to him last, and he had to know I was waiting for him to call me. Right?

He didn’t call the next day.

Or the day after that.

By Day 3, I was starting to think he was the one breaking up with ME.

On Day 4, he sent me an email.

It was long, but the gist of the email was basically him defending himself and how he did no wrong in the whole ordeal.

He had a knack for conjuring up excuses that removed him from taking responsibility for anything.

I guess he made up my mind for me. I knew I wasn’t too smart, but I wasn’t THAT dumb either.

The shocking part wasn’t that I broke up with him after this letter (all clues were pointing that way), but what happened AFTER I broke up with him.

Apparently, when someone breaks up with you (whether the relationship was good or not), a chemical reaction in your brain is trigger, called the “DESPERATE and NEEDY” chemical – this new chemical in your system gives you a sudden new purpose in life..

“ to chase your ex as hard as you can until they give in!”

This was what my ex did, and let me warn you now. 95% of you will have it after a break up! Even if you don’t act on this impulse to chase your ex, you will still feel it in your bones.

Learn from my ex, what NOT to do if you want to get your ex back (there are better ways, trust me).

Don’t let this happen to you!

Mistake #1 – Remaining in Constant Contact

Reason you may want to do this: I don’t want my ex to forget about me or think I don’t care.

I run a popular email newsletter and this is the most common thing I get emailed about (after “How do I get my ex back?” and “Do you think I have a chance?”).

Most people don’t like the idea of stopping all contact. It’s out of their comfort zone and deathly intimidating.

The terribly real fear is that your ex may forget about you and find someone else – younger and better than you.

So I guess you counteract this fear by keeping a lock-tight eye on them – calling, emailing, txting or randomly popping up at their place.

After all, having a friendly relationship is better than no relationship at all, and that means you still have some power over their decision to date, not date and maybe, even get back together with you.

This couldn’t be more wrong.

You must fight AGAINST your natural instinct to chase after a rejection because it does nothing but make you look weak and desperate.

Case in point.

What is your natural reaction to someone running full force at you, arms outstretched, tongue hanging out, and a sure desperation in their eyes?

Counter that with your reaction to the majestic sculpture of Michelangelo’s statue of David. Which would make you stare at in awe and which would make you run?

Humans are repelled by the weak, drawn to the powerful.

So if you find yourself calling your ex over and over, stalking them all over social media sites, sending a string of emails with ILOVEYOUILOVEILOVEYOU all over them, it’s maybe time to step back and observe the disasterpiece you’ve created for yourself.

Just like any horrendous painting, you CAN wipe the slate clean and start anew.

Mistake #2 – Using Reason and Logic

Reason you may want to do this: If I make a good argument why breaking up is not the solution, then my ex will see my logic and come back.

Logic has no place in a break up. We are driven by irrational wants and irrational emotions. Your argument may be sound but if your ex doesn’t believe you then it won’t matter what you say.

No one wants to be convinced they’re wrong, and that’s what you’re essentially saying when you try to reason your ex this way.

Here’s the truth. Your ex has their external reasons for breaking up and then there’s their internal reasons. Down to the core, we’re driven by our internal wants and desires. It’s hard to change someone’s mind if you’re not sure what is motivating them in the first place.

The mistake is to assume that you know what’s best for them when you only know what they’ve allowed you to know.

To get through to your ex, you must show them through your actions the qualities they desire, as well as giving them time to come to their own conclusion.

Your ex will want you back when they realize it’s far more rewarding to be with you than without you.

Mistake #3 – Being Extra Nice and Loving or Changing Behaviour Too Quickly

Reason you may want to do this: If I’m extra nice, sweet and loving around my ex then they’ll see I’ve changed and come back.

Most of us have learned through experience that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

The downside to changing too quickly after a break up, is the unbelievably factor.

It’s just not believable that your new change is sustainable over a long period of time. If your ex doesn’t believe you, they won’t trust you enough to come back.

Slow and gradual progress works much better here.

Mistake #4 – Taking No Contact to the Extreme

Reason you may want to do this: If I just ignore my ex, they’ll see they can’t live without me and come back.

Ignoring someone – or in other words – pretending they don’t exist and not worth your time, will not get you in the good books with anyone. It may catch their attention, but eventually you’ll have to stop ignoring them.

Once you go back on contact, that’s when you get hit with the consequences.

Case in point. My ex may have waited too long for an apology. And when the apology came (was there one?) it wasn’t even sincere.

Put aside the idea that there has to be someone right and someone wrong. If the only reason you’re holding back contact is so you can avoid admitting defeat, then ask yourself this:

“Would I rather be right or in love?”

Mistake #5 – Deliberately Doing Things to Piss Your Ex Off

Reason you may want to do this: If I just make their life miserable, they’ll see they’re better off with me than without me.

Sometimes we’re so hurt and frustrated by someone that instead of doing what we know to win them back, we direct our anger at them instead.

You may want to hurt your ex to get back at them. You may want to yell, blame, name-call and lay on the guilt-trip because you don’t know what else to do. But doing so will hurt you ten times more than it will hurt your ex.

Key point to remember: “The secret to getting what you want is to give whatever it is you wish to receive.”

If you give out abuse, expect abuse back. If you only give out kindness and love, that’s what you’ll receive as well.

The trick is to prepare for outbursts beforehand. If you know a part of you hate your ex for doing what they did, do NOT seek contact with them until that emotion has subsided.

I won’t go into the details of how my ex made these mistakes, but he did. At one point, I thought to myself: “Who is this person?” It made me question whether I really knew him at all.

The point is break ups bring out the WORST in people. IE. all your insecurities, fears and weaknesses come floating up to the surface and it can make you do crazy things that create lasting damage to your relationship.

What To Do If You’re Making These Mistakes Now?

So if you’ve realize that you’re no angel either and you have made one or all of these mistakes, do not fret just yet.

Chances are, your ex expected some type of resistance to the break up.  At least it shows you care and give a shit after all.

But has it completely ruined your chances?

I’m giving away one of the bonuses included in The Ex Recovery System.

Get it here FREE:

http://www.getexback.net/suresignspdf/

This report reveals what I believe are telltale signs that you still have a chance with your ex. This is only a series of free reports I’ll be sending to you

Your friend,

Ashley

Ever felt so miserable because you’re longing for your ex but they’re completely shutting you out?

I remember a few years ago, I went through my own unexpected break up which tore me up for months. This was someone who I thought I was going to be spending the rest of my life with. The shock of it all left me extremely lonely and pained.

Friends would try to help but in the end, you can only annoy them so much with your own grief.

It took me a few months to get over it, and you know, it would have been nice to have some type of a support system. Someone out there that knew exactly what I was going through and helped me through it one day at a time.

I was aware of this need for support after releasing The Ex Recovery System. I find that sometimes with the pain of the break up, it can be difficult to get through each day.

Worse is to know exactly what you’re meant to do on a daily basis when you’re not feeling yourself to begin with.

This is why I realized I HAD to do something about this.

Hence I created the From Break up to Break Through Program, a 12 week intensive daily coaching program accompanying you through your break up, through the strategies within The Ex Recovery System and follows you along to help you recreate that intense passion and love lost with your partner.

The coaching contains a series of in-depth articles, videos and reports, as well as a support forum where you can interact with other members. New information is released nearly every day for 12 weeks.

Here’s just a preview of things you’ll discover:

• Secret Tip About No Contact
• Getting Through It While Being Long Distance
• Men, How to Steal Your Woman Away From Her New Man
• Post-Breakup Analysis (What Went Wrong)
• Is Your Partner Not Responding?
• When to Make Another Contact
• How to Use Emotional Programming
• Should You Stay or Should You Go? 50 Important Questions to Ask
• Yourself Before Getting Back Together
• and much much more (in fact, over 80 days of advice and support!)

Like I said, I wanted to cover it all: From Breaking up – to Rebuilding Attraction and Getting Your Ex Back – to Maintaining a Happy and Passionate Relationship

Not only that but I talk about the fundamentals of what makes a good relationship and how to find someone who is RIGHT for you who can help you achieve this sort of love and happiness in life.

This is certainly no easy feat but I believe is extremely important to making sure you’re always in love and happy with your partner.

I want to share that a GREAT relationship is possible all the time with the RIGHT person.

Does this sound like something you’re interested in? Because I designed it specifically with YOU in mind!

Download The Ex Recovery System and Receive FREE 14 Days Access to the From Break Up to Break Through Program

Join us, share your story and get the help you really need today, right now.

Get instant access, all lessons are available on the site and unlocked on a daily basis.

If you do, be sure to drop me a line

Check out The Ex Recovery System PLUS From Break Up to Break Through Program

In previous articles, I’d written about actual signs an ex is still interested in you and common pitfalls to watch out for (you can read those here: Sure Signs Your Ex Wants You Back and Signs Your Ex Wants You Back – Sneaky Signs Your Ex Still Cares ). With this article I wanted to take a different angle.

When you’re looking for signs your ex wants you back, you may find a few telltale signs that do not quite add up.

For instance,

• Does your ex call you at weird hours of the day?
• Does your ex regularly confess that they miss you?
• Does your ex tell you they love you and you’re the one, but then completely ignore you?
• Does your ex break up with you and then continue to call and ask to hang out like nothing is wrong?

If you’re finding a lot of these signs poking into your relationship, be warned! You’re dealing with an Emotional Tease and possibly an ex lover who is taking advantage of you.

People who display these behaviours are generally emotion-dependent on their former partners (you).

They do it for one or more of the following reasons:

• To get over the guilt
• To get over feeling lonely
• To feel wanted, needed and loved
• To feel as if everything is “back to normal” and that means, everything is OK
• To not commit to anything that may ultimately hurt them

They tap into a weakness of yours, which is the part of you that wants them to want you, and uses that to get their own needs met.

Now, the part that you may be interested in… would they ever consider getting back together seriously?

Yes and no.

See, it depends on how you behave to counteract your ex’s behaviour as well as how much the bad weighs against the good in your partner’s eyes.

Your ex girlfriend or boyfriend need to feel:

• They can trust you again
• You’ve seriously changed and really truly love them
• You’re willing to work on the relationship
• They see a possibly renewed, refreshed and exciting relationship that is everlasting
• They are happier with you and in your company than without you

I cover many of these aspects in my book, The Ex Recovery System and The Ex Recovery System’s 12 Week Bootcamp.

How you behave has a lot to do with mindset and what you’re doing to be happy with yourself and your own conscious growth.

It’s also important you do not fall into the friendship trap. Many people fall for this as they believe being friends mean that being extremely nice to the ex and doing everything for them will eventually make them come back.

Not always true!

If you’re currently stuck in this position and scrambling to find sure signs your ex wants you back, you are missing an important piece of the puzzle!

The piece is NOT whether your ex shows you signs, because like I have said above, your ex could be begging to sleep with you but that doesn’t mean they want to get back together. The thing you’re missing is HOW you can take back control and power over the relationship, so YOU are the one calling the shots.

The solution is laid out in a simple step-by-step manner within The Ex Recovery System. You can also check out The Ex Recovery System 12 Week Bootcamp for free as a bonus with The Ex Recovery System for 14 days.

You’ll discover:

• How to first identify that your ex still has feelings for you using a simple method that works every-time!
• Find out whether you should get back together with your ex, if it’s in YOUR best interest or not.
• What to do if your ex is showing signs that they do have feelings but won’t commit to anything. How to turn the situation around so they’re begging YOU to come back.
• How to regain control over your emotions, yourself and your relationship once and for all. Hint: the power comes from an easily accessible place that rarely anyone take advantage of.
• How to get yourself out of the friendzone with your ex and STAY out of it.
• Many more techniques and a plan that helps you mend your broken heart, regain your self-worth and happiness, and re-attract the one you want into your life.

Don’t wait! Get instant online access, all you have to do is go here:

Click Here For The Ex Recovery System & Get Your Ex Lover Back

Remember, there is also a 60 days money-back-guarantee. In case you’re not happy with the product, you’ll receive a quick refund with no hassles.

P.S. Even if you do not purchase, remember to not act like a friend and not make yourself too available!

Do you find your relationships keep failing time and time again? The truth is far from the fairytale we’ve grown up to know. The fact is, people who stay in love are the ones who work HARD at staying in love on a DAILY BASIS.

That’s right, it’s not exactly “easy” to stay in love.. at least not after the initial honeymoon period is over.

And you know what? That’s why a “loss of attraction” occurs so commonly in relationships. You know when your partner tells you, “I just don’t love you anymore”, or “I’m just not feeling that spark” or “I’m not attracted to you like I used to be.”

They think this is a sign they’re meant to be with someone else, or to find someone else. But you know what, the truth is, MOST people who get together have a great chance to staying together and being in LOVE together for a long long time. It’s just that they forget that they need to work hard at staying in love!

That being in love feeling won’t always be there! Or won’t come as easily as it used to.

But you CAN get it back. It takes some work and it takes some FOCUS, but it’s definitely possible!

One of the techniques I talk about in the ERS is Emotional Programming. This is a great example of how your relationship can become HARDER to maintain and what you need to do to “cure” those issues.

But be warned, it’s easy to read it and understand the concept, but it’s much more difficult in practice… especially if your partner is unwilling to work on this with you.

So if you know you have some reoccuring problems with your partner, or you’re having a hard time convincing your partner that you’ve changed for the BETTER, then you’ll want to try this technique.

Emotional Programming is one of the techniques within The Ex Recovery System. It is:

• A long term strategy.
• Trains or programs your partner to think a certain way about you.
• Reprograms the negative “patterns” developed throughout the course of your relationship.

Here are examples of the type of negative patterns which need to be changed in your relationship if it isn’t working:

• Every time the subject of money or spending money gets brought up, your partner starts an argument or turns negative.
• Every time the phone rings on a Saturday night, your partner thinks it’s another girl calling you, and they start an argument about how you can’t be trusted.
• Every time you show up late for something, your partner accuses you of being “inconsiderate”, “selfish” and “disrespectful”.

Here’s the thing. Your partner ONLY exists in your mind, and a VERSION of you exist in your partner’s mind, but this is not the REAL you, it’s their version of you. Overtime you each develop a set of personality trait conclusions called schemas for the other person. Negative Schemas are thinking your partner is or being known as:

• Lazy
• Stupid
• Pigheaded
• Cruel
• Hard
• Selfish
• Crazy

You can also develop schemas about your partner’s motivation and intentions: “She’s trying to control me…” “It’s all ego; trying to build himself up by tearing me down…” “He’s only nice to me because he wants to have sex…” These schemas are developed by a great deal of MIND-READING! That is why OPEN and CLEAR communication is a MUST! Here’s the steps to reprogramming negative schemas:

1. Identify negative patterns in your relationship. (These should be factors associated to the break up).
2. Tell your partner you have stopped that certain behaviour they disliked.
3. SHOW your partner a new pattern associated with that behaviour – reprogramming aspect.
4. Show them AGAIN under different circumstances.
5. Show them ONE LAST TIME.
6. NEVER repeat an old pattern.

Example: “Every time the subject of money or spending money gets brought up, your partner starts an argument or turns negative.”

1. Identify the negative pattern – Understand the REAL reason for your partner running this negative pattern. (She doesn’t feel any security from you financially.)

2. Stopping the association – taking action to become more financially secure in your OWN life. Let her know what you are doing (looking for another job, found another job etc)

3. Show your partner a new pattern – talk about money in a POSITIVE manner and alter your behaviour about money. (Be generous if you’re a scrooge, start saving if you spend too carelessly.)

4. Show them AGAIN under different circumstances. (When the discussion of money is brought up, STOP the pattern by mentioning that is the past and things are different now).

5. Show them ONE LAST TIME.

6. NEVER repeat an old pattern.

Sometimes due to the severity of the old pattern, you may have to repeat it more than 3 times, but 3 times is usually enough to replace the old pattern with the new.

Now, can you identify one main issue that is the course of negative associations or schemas, and work on how you are going to use Emotional Programming to replace that pattern with a new and much more attractive one?

This is only ONE of the techniques you can use within The Ex Recovery System, and of course it’s going to be 10x easier if your partner is a willing participant and understands what you’re trying to do. This will yield you much greater results.

Click Here For More Information About Saving Your Troubled Relationship

To get your copy of The Ex Recovery System, Click Here.

Click Here For More Information!

Are you convinced that it’s too late to get your ex back?

I know how it feels, when all evidence points to the sign that they are just OVER you, you just feel like giving up.

Giving up is necessary sometimes, and I certainly don’t want you to keep chasing after someone who really IS over you.

There are some rare situations though where an ex will ACT as if they’re over you BUT they still DO things that makes you wonder

“Why does he still do this if he doesn’t care anymore?”

or

“Why is she still calling me for no reason at all?”

You know that feeling? When your ex’s actions don’t quite seem to make sense!?

There is more going on than you may think and it may even SHOCK you when you find out the truth.

Here I explain exactly what are the SIGNS to watch out for when an ex is still not over you, still CARES and may even WANT YOU BACK.

If you’re not recognizing any of these signs, don’t worry, it could be anything from being TOO soon after the break up OR your ex is busy with other things!

Yes, people do have lives and some people just have a better way of keeping themselves busy.

Can You Get Your Ex Back? Click Here to Find Out!

Cheating or being cheated on in a relationship can be one of the most devastating things to happen in a relationship. It not only pains you emotionally but can have long term damaging effects on your relationship in the future.

This is especially true amongst young couples as the early trauma of infidelity can scar you for a lifetime.

Many cheaters will put the blame on anything else BUT themself. That’s because they often only care about themself and not looking “bad” to others.

If you’re the victim of a cheater, and you still find yourself clinging onto the relationship, you may be wondering if there’s any hope of trusting a cheater.

The odds are against you that a cheater won’t cheat again, however with that said, people DO have the ability to change, but ONLY if they want to. And this must be something they want to do for them, and not for anyone else.

So, can you trust a cheater?

The only way you can trust a cheater is if they prove themself as trustworthy again and again. If they can’t PROVE it with action (not words), then you’re once again going off empty promises.

I’d move slowly with any notorious cheaters, and most of all, consider moving on for good. Like I said, statistically it doesn’t look good. Most cheaters don’t just cheat, they lie about other things too.

Ask yourself how often the cheating has occured, whether this is the first time or the second, third or 10th time. How many times do you have to make the same mistake before learning from it?

One thing to note is that, you can’t EVER “change” a cheater or hope to “fix” them. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that you can or that they’ll change because you’re supporting them. If they can’t demonstrate their change of ways on their own, it’s probably not going to happen with your help.

Dos and Don’ts:

• If starting a new relationship with a cheater, put the past behind you! Don’t continue to bring up your partner’s old cheating habits.
• If you’re going to give someone a 2nd chance, REALLY give them a second chance.
• Don’t assume just because you’ve been hurt before, that every new guy or girl will hurt you just the same.

Want to save your relationship and restore to the way it was? Click here.

I have something serious to ask you today…

Have you ever suspected a guy was keeping something from you?

Like a secret?

If a guy is keeping something from you, he must feel it’s going to hurt you somehow. Then wouldn’t you rather find out the truth?

The problem is, confronting them directly never works. You don’t have any solid evidence or proof, and by the end of it, he’s the one who makes YOU feel bad for accusing him. But deep down, you still feel there’s more he isn’t tell you.

Don’t get caught up living a lie if you suspect your man is keeping secrets or seeing someone else behind your back!

Thankfully, a very clever man by the name of Dean Cortez have decided to share the most guarded secrets that “private investigators” use to catch cheating and lying husbands or boyfriends.

Watch this EYE-OPENING video that literally freaked me out!

Inside, you’re learn:

• How to turn quickly yourself into a human lie detector so that you’ll instantly know whenever your partner is lying to you. (These are actual methods & test results researched by psychologists in identifying uncontrollable  and subconscious movements humans  make when they lie — this is advanced FBI stuff you CANNOT afford to miss!).
• Signs (and these are scarily easy to miss) that your guy is possibly cheating on you right now!
• 9 crucial errors that everybody who is having an affair makes, learn what these are (I never would have thought of these) and catch them red-handed!
• … and much, much more!

Once again, BEWARE! This information could CHANGE EVERYTHING!

This freaked me out, see what you think…

P.S.

I’m in the progress of revamping this site once again. This layout is just not working for me anymore, and I feel for the most part, it’s a little too cluttered.

The new layout is in the works and I’m expecting that to go up within the next day or two. I’ll also be organizing my content a little better as well.

Keep an eye out!

Ashley

Alright, I guess I’m going to go against the grain here by claiming that it is OK to beg and plead for an ex back. If you’ve been searching information for longer than 5 mins on “How to Get Your Ex Back” then you’ll find a lot of people preaching that you should NEVER beg or plead an ex to come back… in fact it is one of the deadly SINS to getting an ex back.

Well, it’s not quite that tramatic. The fact is, it is the NORM to be amongst the beggers and pleaders. In fact, if you were one of the few who DIDN’T beg or plead at all for an ex after your break up, I’d seriously be questioning whether you cared enough for your ex to begin with.

That’s right, the reason why I’m giving the GREEN for beggers and pleaders is the fact it’s NOT the devil, but in fact a sincere sign that you genuine CARE VERY DEEPLY for the person who is breaking up with you. And you as someone who cares and loves, have an intrinsic NEED to express those emotions when stakes are this HIGH.

People NEED to be and feel loved, it is a SURVIVAL mechanism for most, and if you take it away, people will do ANYTHING to hold onto it. That is human nature… LOVE sits at the center of our core and drives us through our daily lives… there’s no use trying to hold back on how you really feel because suppressing it will only cause those feelings to manifest elsewhere equally as unpleasant and uncontrollable.

Now I’m not saying you should CONTINUE to beg or plead if that has been your sole strategy to win your ex back. By all means, it has destructive tendencies if your Ex in question tells you repeatedly to “leave them alone”.

However, interestingly enough, begging and pleading (as the main strategy to get someone back) does and has worked for many hundreds of couples out there, you just don’t hear about them that much because these people end up “back together” so quickly, they don’t get the same opportunity to moan and bitch about it on Forums and Message boards.

The problem is for those less fortunate, when someone breaks up with you, in their mind it is for an indefinite amount of time. If that’s the case, continuing to beg and plead for an ex’s forgiveness will only grate on their nerves more than anything else. For these types of break ups, you really need to get smarter and learn the psychological triggers that will work even on those exes who appear to have “moved on”.

I’ve written a book that delves more deeply into the psychological tactics of gaining back an ex, but the point of this rant is to give you the OK for those worrying about already making the mistakes of begging and pleading an ex back.

It is OK, it happens to EVERYONE (just about), it means you CARE and want to fight for your relationship. Nothing wrong with that!

For those for didn’t beg or plead, you have to ask yourself, did you care enough in the first place? Why did you react differently? Has it helped, made worse or had zero impact on your currently relationship situation?

Don’t wait to reunite, you may lose them forever, click here for the fastest method to win your ex back.

• VIDEO: How to Heal From a Breakup http://tmogul.com/tweet/6c6z1 #

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Sometimes a relationship will become so unstable that one of you will initiate a trial separation – or a “break” from one another. Although this isn’t necessarily a real break up, it sure still feels like one! This usually happens when one is unsure of a real break up but feels something still needs to be done.

Trial separations are a way of saying “we need time away from one another, just to clear our thoughts and re-evaluate the relationship.” Due to the nature of this ambiguous period, where rules suddenly isn’t as clear-cut as they used to be, it can be even more frustrating and nearly as heart-breaking as a real break up.

But do trial separations really work to help save a relationship?

The whole thing in itself is complicated. If you are in a trial separation, it would seem like you are in limbo because basically you can’t act as you normally would yet at the same time you still have feelings for each other and might even act like you’re still together. Sounds confusing, doesn’t it?

There are many reasons why people go for trial separations. Some of the most common reasons are:

• They are playing it safe – As been mentioned, some just want to be sure they really are making the right decision in terms of who they want to be with. At the same time, they also want the security that in case “whatever” else doesn’t work out, they can still come back to this current relationship. Great for them, bad for you.
• They want temporarily “singlehood” to experience something they feel can’t be experienced while in a relationship – this may be dating or seeing other people, making new friends, starting a new career/a business, a big project or change that would take up too much time with a relationship going on as well.
• They want to test the bonds of the relationship and see how serious you REALLY are to them. This usually occurs when one wants commitment while the other doesn’t. As a way to “push” the other into one, they might initiate a trial separation.

What is most important for you the take away from a trial separation is that this is the period where you “give each other space” and work on the problem areas which lead you both to this in the first place. Another reason for space is to ask yourself whether this is really the relationship you want to be in? Remember this could be an easy-out of a relationship that was doomed anyway or a time to fully start anew and create something that will really last.

Clearly, you’ll need to give your partner space, but make sure to be clear on the agreement of what you can and can’t do during this break. Remember to maintain open communication with your partner and be patient!

Is your relationship hopelessly doomed? Here’s a chance to save your relationship and re-ignite the passion.