If you find yourself asking this question after you break up, “How Did The Break Up Happen? How Could This Have Happened?” it seems clear to me that you were not communicating throughout your relationship. Not honestly with each other anyway.
When you’re intimate with someone, the natural thing would be to reveal deeper and more personal aspects of yourself the more involved you are in the relationship. With that, it would seem one would naturally communicate the “smaller” wants and needs of an individual during the relationship.
Clearly couples are missing that key ingredient when they think they land themselves their “dream” or “ideal” relationship.
Do you bring up issues as they arise and willingly discuss them with your partner?
Or do you tend to sit on something, brushing it aside with the excuse “it’s just a small thing, there is no need to cause a fuss.” In other words, holding your tongue and letting your partner get away with things you really should have talked to him about?
It’s all too easy to not open your mouth when the moment comes and goes, but please realize that these things accumulate over time and eventually resentment is built upon. All of a sudden you’ll wake up arguing and you don’t even know why.
If your partner just packed up and left, I’m not saying the blame is on you. It’s probably due to mistakes and bad choices on both your parts, but pointing fingers isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Start by realizing there were communication issues and because of this, you may not know your ex as well as you thought you did.
Honestly ask yourself, “Are I a good listener?” To become good at communicating you need to good at listening first. Your ex might have felt like they were talking to a brick wall and eventually just gave up.
Once you do realize where the problem lie, do the thing you should have done ages ago! Tell your ex! Try to talk about the problems (if they are still willing) and get the truth out and really listen with new ears.
Sometimes you are just not given a second chance and in these cases you must must MUST learn from this mistake and go into your next relationship realizing communication, being OPEN, being HONEST is deadly important to all relationships and little lies BUILD UP to create gigantic avalanches of trouble.
I hope this helped you today.
Questions?
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