Marriage break ups are much more traumatic and troublesome than typical break ups. When you marry, your intentions are to be together “till death do you part” meaning you start to share EVERYTHING of your life with this other person. Problem is if you haven’t fully evaluated whether your partner would be fitting for you 20-30 years done the track, you might be faced with the notion of an ugly divorce.
The current divorce statistics is not pleasant and it certainly seems most people these days would rather run from their problems than sit down and deal with them openly.
If your marriage is in deep trouble or heading downhill fast, here are 3 quick tips to help you turn it around.
Stop Avoiding Issues
Communication is deathly important in a marriage, but you must learn to communicate effectively.
Set aside one day in the week that you’ll sit down one-on-one and just talk about all the issues raised during the week. Talk about your feelings about things, what is bothering you, what could be better etc.
Allow each person to talk for 30 mins or so while the other simply listens.
Sometimes for more pressing matters you might need to set aside a much larger chunk of time to talk about things, such as family bduget, kid problems and work issues, etc
After discussing your issues, start coming up with a solution for the coming week on how to remedy those problems. Don’t simply vent and then do nothing. That will ensure the problem only returns time and time again.
Affection and Intimacy
A lack of sex is one of the biggest problems in marriages today. Many individual in marriages feel “lied to” in a sense because sex just isn’t as they “used to be”, but what I’ve found is a lack of sex is usually caused by stress or other internal issues your partner or you are withholding.
Sex and affection are very important in a marriage. You’re still a couple, not roommates, there needs to be passion and romance.
Take a short weekend holiday every now and then (preferrably once every 1 – 3 months). You need to get away with your partner every now and then or else the grind will suck most of the life out of you both. Getting away from your routine and the kids will help give you time to focus on each other again and discover all the things that made you fall in love in the first place.
Financial Difficulties
The biggest marriage problem is related to MONEY. This is the major stressor of marriages. At this point you both need to sit down and figure out where your money is coming and going. Keep a FIRM track of it and make sure you don’t overspend.
Cut back on a few luxuries if you need to but the point is the COMMUNICATE these concerns instead of keeping it to yourself.
Learn to be honest with each other and work on resolving the issues you face.
If your situation is much too severe, consider going to a marriage counseler… even if it’s only by yourself, this is still a postive step in the right direction.
If you want to stay together for the long ter, you much know how to save a marriage that’s in jeopoardy.
